the other night i was talking to my friend. we were both pretty fucked up (alcohol + other drugs) so maybe i shouldnt take much notice. but he said to me: "everyone assumes im gay. always. i think i was meant to be gay. i have no problem with being gay. its so cool. i really respect you for coming out and stuff. and really, im so cool with it. i think i want to try with a guy. not you, not you. but i need to know what it feels like, because i really have nothing against guys. but im just not at all attracted to them." confused much?
That's a whole bunch of conflicting messages and values there. When people are under the influence, they say and do things that aren't necessarily true or representative of their beliefs; however, sometimes, these statements are grounded in some sort of reality or deep-seated feeling. Now, this isn't to say that your friend is gay or that he wants to experiment with guys, but the fact is that he lost his inhibitions when he was under the influence of... whatever it was. Does your friend know that he said these things? You might want to let him know, and maybe you can talk about it. He might deny any desire to be with a guy, even for a second, but it's always worth a conversation. Just make sure to tell him that you understand that he was intoxicated and that you won't make unfair judgments about anything (and you hopefully didn't take advantage of him!). If he denies it, accept that and move on, and who knows? He might say something eyebrow-raising when he's a little more sober.
No he doesn't want to be gay. He's just bi-curious. Also, alcohol/drugs does that to you so yea. . .don't take much notice. NOW! Lets over analyse everything you have recounted for us. . . . . . . Can't be bothered now. But yea, I'm a lil confused now myself. Kinda went in a big circle there, but being f'ed up does that to ya. Also in the edit: Was going to say what chrisg said, but he beat me to it.
Hard to say. Sometimes, people use alcohol as an excuse to do what they always wanted to do, but can't do sober, because they can use the "oh i was drunk" excuse to avoid responsibility. I think it's possible he's curious. I think it's also possible he's gay and just starting to explore those feelings (or share them with others). Either way, just give him time and be supportive and see where it goes...
Sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him if you feel the need. If he wants to talk about it, he will, and if not then that's his decision. Alcohol and drugs can help get rid of any inhibitions people might have and he might have actually meant what he said, and it was just easier to say when under the influence. I'm sure you remember how hard your first coming out was, and I know I was at least tipsy and with a bunch of drunk friends when I told them just because I couldn't quite do it when sober yet. As Chip said, it's possible he's starting to explore some feelings he's been hiding, and it's also possible he was just real drunk and said some things he didn't really mean to act upon.
