Okay, so this is kind of long. I apologize... My school is chock-full of homophobes, just as anyone would expect from a small high school in the Bible Belt. I generally tend to tune most of it out because I hear so much each day, but sometimes it just gets to me. Today was one of those times. We have assigned seats during my first period class, and I have to sit with these two guys I don't really like being around. They are VERY homophobic and nearly every other word that comes out of their mouths is insulting to gays. They're really not the type of people I'd like to deal with first thing in the morning, especially when they act the way they did this morning. Guy 1: So, I have this gay cousin. Guy 2: Yeah? Guy 1: Ever since he came out, I've hated all of them. Me: Um, why? Guy 1: Because queers act funny. Me: Not true! There are many varieties of gay people, and some are even the quarterbacks of their school football teams, just like you, only less ignorant and stupid! Guy 2: No, Strawberry. Me: Why not? Guy 2: Because they just can't! Me: What makes YOU so sure, hmm? Guy !: Huh huh, stop defending homos, Strawberry! Me: ((seething with rage)) We go through this or something similar almost every morning. The sad part is that they're not just doing it to piss me off; this is actually the kind of thing the guys at my school like to talk about. I absolutely cannot stand to just sit there and allow them to insult my people! They would shit their pants with rage if I started bashing on, let's say, Christians. I hate the language they use. I hate how they think it's okay to say these things. I hate how no one except me ever tries to stop them, not even the teacher. I hate how I'M the only one that even has a problem with these boys and their discussions! Guy 2 says that it's okay for him to say these things because "there aren't any gays around to get offended." He said that to my face one day when I asked him what his problem was! There are so many things WRONG with that statement! First, he said that to a lesbian. Yeah, I look and act the same as any straight girl. I am not obvious in any way, shape, or form. Doesn't mean I'm straight. I didn't expect him to know about me specifically because I am not out to him, but it's so ridiculously ignorant of him to assume that there are no gays around! We are everywhere! Second, why is it okay to bash on entire groups just because you think they aren't around? It's still horrible! It's cowardly, too. Are you afraid to say it to our faces? These guys aren't all I have to deal with, either. There is this one specific group of girls that treats me horribly. To them, I am not Strawberry, I am Lesbian. No, I'm serious, that's what they call me and expect me to respond to. To them, that is my number one defining trait. I don't really care about that, but it does get a little irritating after a while. The thing that bothers me is how they bring it up every single time they talk to me. One is afraid that I like her and am going to rape her all because I'm a lesbian, even though she is so horribly unattractive and mean and just all around unfortunate! Most of their group is really slutty and/or sex-obsessed. They've been like this since middle school, but I've recently started to bite back at them. I slapped one last week for being rude and disgusting, and she freaked out because a lesbian touched her. I didn't really mean to hit her, but I want them to know I'm not just going to sit there and cry about it like I would back in seventh grade. Hitting one probably wasn't the answer, but it's not like I'm capable of actually hurting anyone. Haha. I dunno, I just wish my school wasn't so homophobic...
Way to hit like a girl! lol As far as the possibility of bashing on christians..remember..you are better than these people. Don't stoop to their level even though every word that emerges from their mouths is dripping with hatred. Keep defending what you believe in and they may eventually stop when they see that you won't back down. High School kids are extremely closed-minded and irritating..we all know this very well..so don't feed them by returning insults..repay their hatred with logic and facts. Keep it up..you seem to be doing well putting up with those asses..lol :eusa_clap
Even though your words may fall to deaf ears I for one, am very proud of you for standing up to these people and saying what you think. Maybe with maturity some of it will start to sink in. Good job! Just try not to hit anybody. You can get kicked out of school for that.
I don't think I could ever allow myself to sink to their level, though sometimes I am tempted to. Really, I just tell myself that I'll be out of there in a few years, anyway. Teachers at my school don't really seem to care about students hitting each other, which is actually rather sad... That was the first time I ever hit anyone, anyway. Haha. I probably won't do it again.
I know it's really horrible, but to be honest, I don't think there is a lot you can do, other than wait it out. My school is pretty homophobic, and this kind of thing happens on a day-to-day basis, although I doubt it is anywhere near is homophobic as yours is, so I can only imagine that what you have to go through is 10 times worse than what I have to. I think that for now, it may be time to remain silent, maybe make a few voodoo dolls or something >: D Whenever some girl thinks you're going to rape her or something, say something along the lines of 'don't flatter yourself'; these people are almost invariably extremely unattractive. DONOTWANT flashing over their heads, seriously. Or when they're addressing you as lesbian, something like 'in your dreams' may be a good response. But don't get into arguments, even when it is the morally 'better' thing to do; only defend against the opposition. Just remember, your personal safety is the important thing. On the other hand, when you think you can easily 'win' safely, you may want to do that, because it's a bit blahhhh to have to hide your non-homophobic beliefs all the time. Just make sure it's safe to do so If/when you do choose to remain quiet, make sure you don't express your distaste at whatever has been said: don't go to a straight, passport face, but keep the same facial expression and body language you did have on. This can be really hard to do, but it is normally the least obviously LGBT/ally thing to do... I hope this all gets better for you soon, I noticed that since the start of year 11 (ages 15-16) people have started to get a *little* bit more mature about it, so maybe that will happen for you too Just my advice for you
Haha, I don't think they're Lady Gaga fans, sadly. I'm in the US, so we name our school years differently (here, 11th grade is ages 16-17) but I think your year 11 is our 10th grade, which is next school year for me. I don't think most of these people are going to improve much in that little amount of time, but you never know! Oh, I don't hide my beliefs very well... Everyone at school does know that. I am pretty much the Defender of Homos there. Haha.
Oh right :/ Well at my school they did improve quite a bit, I reckon at yours they will at least a bit, and every little helps I'm not *the* defender of homos, but even the homo-friendly people are constantly using gay as an insult :/ But when they're talking about it seriously they tend to be like "grr, they're people too you know you silly bastard. And gay guys are super peng" (the homo-friendlies are basically all female) People are generally ok with lesbians at mine, because most of the homophobes are male, and therefore love the girl on girl stuff haha I say, slap all the homophobes and flood their minds with Lady GaGa haha
Good for you for putting up with these people Number one thing you can do is arm yourself with facts. When they say they are not insulting gay people throw a statistic i believe the one my teacher used was that 5-10% (can't remember which) of people are gay and that meant x number of people in this class are likely gay. If they pull a bible argument know how to respond to that (you can find those on the internet) Otherwise be open and honest, i am 100% open at my school and always respond when someone makes a homophobic comment or insults a gay person in front of me. When it comes to those girls if she says something like "she wants to rape me" just respond "only in your dreams" and screw with them if they say "hey Lesbian" respond "Oh i knew i'd have you girls coming after me". Personally i find doing stuff like that to the most homophobic guys is a great way to keep yourself entertained and get them off your back. I used to act like i was all into this one really homophobic kid in one of my classes after he made it apparent he was homophobic and insulted me. aka i stared at him with a smile when he glared at me and such, worked every time. Although i am personally a very sexual person and with my straight friends i am always a fan of any sexual innuendo gay or straight haha GL and hope it works out
If I was being addressed according to my orientation like 'lesbian', dyke, gay, queer or other derogatory intended insults, I would keep walking or ignore them. If they kept doing it, I would look them dead in the eyes with a cold glare and say, "I have a name you immature, horny bigot."
Congrats for sticking up to them. Try your best to make it through the rest of high school without letting them get you down. Once you're outta there, remember, the world is your oyster. I went to Catholic school from 5th grade through college (granted, I live in the upper midwest, not the deep south, and despite the stereotypes, this area is about as liberal as the coasts are!). You would not believe how incredibly liberal all the teachers are and how supportive they are of gay rights (even the monks and nuns at my college!) Still, I felt like I was the only gay kid in the world. Now..It's a whole other ball game. There are gay people EVERYWHERE and it's amazing.
being from Arkansas, I know what you mean. Ignorance is all around you. The way I dealt with it was similar to you. I didn't take their shit. The thing was, I didn't let me being gay define who I was. Sure I was still in the thespian club and carried around a purse, but I just acted as who I was. To be honest, I got more support from friends then remarks from enemies. They may make those remarks, but that's because you are different and they are scared of something that isn't them. The way I looked at it was, maybe now they are one more gay closer to accepting it. Or maybe not even accepting, but tolerating it. If you moved to a big city you would see that people don't care as much. that's because they have seen it so many times that its not a shock. Keep your chin up and your spirits high. You can make it :icon_bigg
Arkansas, huh? Wow, that's right by where I am. Yeah, the day I move out into a city just can't come fast enough... Today they spit ice at me. I laughed at them. :| I just wish they'd grow up already.
Firstly, guys are usually more immature than women in the teen years, sadly... Secondly, in my own experience I have found that guys seem to approach the concept of relationships from a more physical point of view, so to them, it is opposite to what their natural drive is, so they comment about it because it appears abnormal to them. I want to just point out that most of the time, when people make rude comments, it is because of their own insecurity. I'm not suggesting they are closet cases , rather that they feel that they wouldn't fit into their homophobic-community if they didn't act that way. If they changed their perspective, they would be looked at as others look at you now (as you say - The Defender of Homos) - they don't want that. I will also say this: when one person stands up and opens their heart, it acts as a catalyst and inspires others to do the same if they truly feel the same. Even though you may feel alone, I am 100% positive that you are not alone - there are others silently agreeing with you, nodding inside, but are too afraid to step out of their cover. Keep up what you are doing - you are doing the right thing, and people ARE hearing what you have to say.
