I have a friend I have known for about 5 years. I assumed we were good friends but I had a revelation the other day. I think he probably thinks I should be grateful that he will hang out with me here and there. When I met him I had very low self esteem and I put up with all sorts of crap because I wanted to interact with someone so bad. I now have high self esteem but I think those early years clouded my judgment about who he really is. He has a college degree and since I don't he treats me like I'm an idiot that should feel lucky to spend time with such an intelligent person:dry: He frequently talks about how great his job is and how much money he makes but if he can get me to pay for things he will jump at the opportunity. I live on a fixed income so my money is tight. I have some mental health issues and he knows this. I have heard him, while talking to his real friends, refer to me as "crazy Mike." He sometimes gets crazy stupid ideas and he tries to talk me into doing them. It seems he really thinks he can manipulate me because he is so much more intelligent than me and I'm so stupid:dry: I went to bonnaroo last summer with him. I thought that was awesome. He wants to show me something he loves to do. I don't think that was the case at all. He knew I would pay for the majority of the trip so it would be almost free for him. I was a huge pushover because I really thought he was my friend. He is one of the most condescending conceited person I have met. I can make plans to hang out with him days in advance but if something better comes up he pushes me aside. Part of me wants to prove he is an idiot and ridicule him in a public setting. The other part of me wants to show him what Marines are trained to do. I should probably just never talk to him again. This is long but I just needed to vent. What do you people think of this?
sounds like he's a bit of a dick, I suggest ditching this guy and go find some better friends, he's just manipulative and really isn't worth your time (or money) GOOD LUCK
I'm with Connor22. Dump this chump from your life. He is only seems to be bringing negative things to you.
Friendship is a two-way street. Both parties have to get something out of it or it's not worth the time wasted on it. This guy sounds like a user who took advantage of you. In fact he almost sounds borderline abusive. I wouldn't tolerate this for a moment longer. If only for your dignity you need to get far away from him. The good thing about friends is that you can (and should) pick and choose them, and you can choose to lose them too. Now that you have realized the truth about this "friendship", you can take action. But there's no point in being vengeful - that will only give temporary satisfaction, and it will leave you thinking less of yourself for lowering yourself to that level. Just walk away quietly and move on. You can either tell him politely that you don't want to be friends any longer, or just stop doing things with him until he gets the hint (it's a language he might understand). I can see from the short time I've known you here on EC that you are capable of making friends very easily - and I'm talking about meaningful friends, not losers. Good luck!
Hard to tell, to be honest. Because we're getting only one side of the story, and even you're questioning what exactly the deal is. I'd say use that self-esteem to good use. If you see him doing something that appears to be taking advantage, block it. If he starts suggesting you pay his way for something, just decline. "I don't think I'll be able to do that. Money's kinda tight right now. We can each pay our way, if you still want to go. If not, we can just skip it." Don't get accusatory. Just lay it out factually, and see what he does with it. If he starts bragging about his college degree or job again, just find a stock phrase to respond with. "Yeah, it must be cool to have a degree/well-paying job." Then change the subject. Once you start saying the same thing over and over to his comments, he'll presumably start noticing 1. how often he's saying it, and 2. how little it's affecting you. And tell him to knock off the "crazy mike" thing. That's just uncool. Lex
If I'm asking for advice on this I should show you the full picture. Most friendships develop because two people share a common interest. Most of the time this is a completely healthy interest but that is not the case with the person I'm discussing. When I met him I shared with him a love for something. That thing was marijuana. Him and I smoked constantly. All our free time was spent high as a kite. I eventually realized that I hated that life so I stopped using. A bit after he ended up getting in trouble at one of his jobs when he was getting high there. By trouble I mean he had to deal with the county sheriff. He said finally that getting high was not worth the trouble anymore so he cut his ties with all his dealers and pothead friends and since I no longer smoked things were cool between us. A few months go by and he decides that he really wants to get high. There was a problem though. He didn't know anyone he could get some from but he knew I did. I gave in and got some here and there. Now I'm at a point where I have no desire to smoke again. Life is very good without it but pretty much every time I hang out with this person he tries to get me to acquire some weed. I never do it and he then just leaves to hang out with other people. This information is the keystone. Everything feeds off of this situation and is the reason I'm so mad at him. This is the full story and the reason I know I'm being used. I apologize for not putting this in the OP. I am just embarrassed I was such a loser for a few years of my life.
