So a few months ago my mom questioned my sexuality. all I could do is laugh laugh hysterically.. Now I KNOW my moms someone who's okay with gayness and such but I don't WANT to make it official, I don't want to tell her so. I sure as hell don't want my family to know, My step father already thinks I'm fucked up. .. lol. I'm not too sure what to do. I mean I want to date more "Out in Public" but I'm afraid of the discrimination, and the bullshit that comes with the high school drama. :dry: Then again, half of my school probably already knows.
Just because your mom asks you if you're gay, doesn't mean she actually thinks that you're gay. Pretty much every guy I've known (pretty much all straight guys) has had their mom ask them this question. Come out when the time is right for you and don't worry about anybody else.
Hi there! I don't think you have to be necessarily out to your mum 'officially' when you want to start dating. You have your reasons as to why you would like not to do so but at the same time being out to her 'officially' will happen sooner or later. Maybe what you could do, and if you already know that she is suspecting and know that she would be supportive, maybe drop a few more hints to confirm for her. Although you don't want to come out officially, I am wondering if it might not be better to come out to her. I think coming out to her would probably allow her to move on in terms of her dreams for you and it would also allow her to have the chance to get to know a different side of you. Usually mothers are pretty good in realizing when things aren't right. Coming out to her would perhaps allow her to put her mind to ease a little bit. Plus, if you are out to her, you don't have to hide that you are trying to date more. When coming out to your mum, you can always ask her not to mention anything to the other family members as you would like them not to know.
Well, never feel pressured into telling people if you don't want to! Coming out to people does mean sharing a pretty significant aspect of your life, and only you can decide when you feel ready to share. On the other hand, being ready isn't an all-or-nothing deal. Telling your mother doesn't mean telling all of the family, and telling one friend doesn't mean telling all of them. I'm sure that if you'd tell your mother, and told her why you don't want other people to know, she could keep a secret. And it might be nice not to have to worry about her asking again and what you'd say if she asks. In any case, laughing hysterically might just make her worry more. I think there's nothing wrong in just saying "I don't feel comfortable discussing this right now, mom". Or you could just flat-out deny it. I'm not in favour of lying, but if you need the privacy, it might be an option. If you tell her later on, I'm sure she'll understand that you just needed more time to deal with this by yourself. I think it would be best to just come out gradually at school too. No need to make a public announcement about being gay. You tell one or more trusted friends at first, and then work out from there. Having a lot of friends who know and are fine with it helps a lot in avoiding discrimination and drama, because you have people to fall back on. Also, if people know, it might make dating easier, since you can talk to them about it and they might even be able to give you some pointers. There isn't a method of avoiding all high school drama. It just seems to happen on its own, no matter if you're gay or straight. I was closeted all through highschool and still managed to get involved in a bit of drama myself, so I guess it's just a fact of life.
Come out when you want and when you're ready! You don't need to feel pressured by your parents even if they suspect already. If you get put in a sticky spot with someone who you don't want to know asking you if you're gay, just think up what you would say in such a situation and go with that. There was never anything wrong with little white lies.
wow... ive gone through the EXACT same thing, like no joke ( well except that she asks me multiple times a day). all i can say is dont let them pressure you. if you are not ready to come out... lie. i hope things turn out good!
