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Crushin' Like A Mug

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ohkbye, Feb 22, 2010.

  1. ohkbye

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    OK, so I have this friend "Todd" and I've had my eye on him for a very long time. Like over a year. At the beginning of this school year, I was ecstatic to find out that we both had the same Spanish class. To make a long story short, we became friends. He came out to me, I've shared a lot of my problems with him, we talk about anything and everything. Basically we do things good friends or boyfriends do. I do not, in anyway, want to jeopardize our friendship, but the truth is, I really like this guy. AND A LOT OF THE TIME, I FEEL HE LIKES ME TOO. He send so many obvious messages, like daily texts that are simply "Hi." and I'll find him playing with my hands or just being super close and flirty with me. Yet, he talks about other guys to me, which I understand, but sometimes it makes me feel that he doesn't like me. In many respects, I feel like he is out of my league but I also feel extremely insecure in any situation. Should I just overcome that and tell him I like him? So much confusion, help ya girl out!
     
  2. zzzero

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    Maybe just start easing him onto the idea of taking the friendship further. Atleast you both know that eachother are gay, so there doesnt have to be that awkward "is he a closeted gay guy" thing. I say just start dropping hints and he'll pick up on it. And if he doesnt back down, then make a move.
     
  3. Beachboi92

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    Do some hand play back :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: if he is giving signs return the message :slight_smile: don't be intimidated by him talking about other guys or anything, your a cutie. Besides i think that in a relationship noticing a guy is hot and saying something shouldn't be a big deal. Hell i am in a relationship and the other day we met with a friend who was with this guy and right after it was over first thing i said to my bf was "he was cute" to which he responded "YEAH he was" which then resulted in a whole new line of fun conversation as a result of an earlier conversation xD (don't get the wrong idea xD) I'm sure even if you like him you have seen a guy and gone "DAMN" :grin:

    You just gotta return the hints and wait for him to make a move/ you to get an opportunity to make a move. I personally think the holding of your hand thing is a cry to get you to make a move :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  4. Zach1992

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    I agree with beachboi. If he plays with you then play back. Maybe it will lead somewhere good. :grin:
     
  5. Halpert

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    Perdy much what everyone else has said! I'd return the flirting, the playing, the (not creepily) touching. But then again, if you guys have always had a friendship where that occurred, it may just be interpreted as harmless play and a little more be required. I know its easy for me to say this, but don't be afraid, if you feel its necessary, to bring the subject up. Communication is key in any relationship, be it friendship or more. I think the likelihood of it jeopardizing your friendship are low. At worst it could be awkward for a while, at best, you guys give something more a shot. :kiss:
     
  6. Lexington

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    Obvious Gargoyle has Obvious Question.

    >>>He came out to me, I've shared a lot of my problems with him, we talk about anything and everything.

    You don't say if you came out to him. Did you? If not, that's the obvious place to start.

    If you have, then I'd say you can float the idea by him. Start with something generic. "I've been thinking about what kind of boyfriend I might like to have..." Then bring it more towards him. "...and I'm thinking that you might make a great boyfriend. But I don't know if I want to jeopardize our friendship by suggesting that." This both makes your feelings clear, AND makes it clear how much you value his friendship.

    Lex
     
  7. malachite

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    So, your worried that if you take that next step things won't work out and you guys won't be firedns; but,l if don't take that step then you KNOW you'll stay in the same situation you're in now.

    So, what you need to ask yourself is this: do you want to stay in the same spot, or do you want to take a chance and maybe find something better?
     
  8. ohkbye

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    Nah man, I'm as out as they come. And this leads to my next point. I am 16 and he is 14. We are both from the same small suburb of a larger city, where everyone knows everyone. He started talking to me about "gay stuff" and asking for a lot of advice. I know that when I was first coming out, I had other gay guys I looked up to and asked a lot of questions and admired but I didn't particularly see them as relationship material. Maybe he is just looking for someone he can relate too? I am overthinking this way too much but the truth is, I'm pretty much head over heels with this boy. AND I DO RETURN THE FLIRTYNESS.

    Also, when he talks about other guys its not like "dang he's hot" because guy watching is one of our favorite pastimes. It's like "wow, I am just looking for that one guy to be my man like I think this guy is cute or I will be sexually attracted but I just can't find that one guy." I think I have listened to 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift more than 50,000 times by now.
     
  9. ohkbye

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    And Thanks Everyone For The Advice! :slight_smile:
     
  10. Halpert

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    Your Taylor Swift comment seriously made me laugh out loud. I totally know the feeling. By the sounds of it, you really like him (well, you did say that :lol:slight_smile:. I really suggest talking to him, exactly as Lex put it. If you're anything like me, and by the sounds of the over thinking, you are, you'll taunt yourself with the what if game if you don't do anything. Give it a shot, you very well could be pleasantly surprised! :grin:
     
  11. ohkbye

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    yeah man i'm just finna go out and say it i am very sick of "the what if game". i'll get back with you later on what he says
     
  12. Halpert

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    Oh garsh I hear ya! Keep us/me/Peter Sellers updated! :grin: