I feel crud and I would like a virtual hug as I don't have someone to give me a real one right now I don't even know why I feel so crappy. I am so up and down. I'm just on a rambling spree, feel free to completely ignore this post. I really hate existing at the moment. There are so many things about me that I want to fix. I feel overwhelmed and like I can't deal with tomorrow, or the next day. I am so tired all the time but I can't seem to go to bed. I hate that I am so clingy, and strange, and... me. I don't know. I don't know where I fit in the world at the moment. I know that sounds rather deep and meaningful, but meh, it's kinda true. I know that people like people who are happy etc... and people who complain and act miserable are not so popular to be around. I am actually a very happy/bubbly person to be around most of the time. Unfortunately EC, you are copping all my moodyness because my extreme 'downs' always happen when I am home alone. My downs can get pretty dramatic. I don't know what to do. I just want to be someone else. I'm gonna write some good things just so I don't look completely like a negative misery-guts: I found out yesterday I get to keep my job. I have some good friends. Um... that's all atm.
(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) The best things to do when you have this kind of moods is taking care of yourself. Have a bubble bath, or a shower with shower gel you like. Wash your hair, it often wash the inside of the head in the same time. Put a comfortable pyjama on, curl up in your couch with a stuffed animal, relaxing musique and a good entertaining book (no love stories, more a detective novel or science fiction) or put a good film, if possible a funny one that you already know half by heart. Have a cup of tea or hot chocolate, relax, enjoy, and tell yourself that tomorrow is another day. More (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
I can dispense e-hugs with ease, so here's a sincere hug for you - (*hug*) And maybe another for good measure - (*hug*) Are you confident that you're not suffering from something like depression or bipolar disorder? If that was a possibility then you could get medical or professional help which might be of value. And regardless of any clinical issues, you might find it helpful to engage a psychologist or a counselor just to share your thoughts and maybe help you cope with the highs and lows. I know it's standard fare as advice goes, but it works for many people and it might work for you. But I do want to share some compassion with you. I feel bad for people who are down in the dumps like this. I know what it's like because I can get there sometimes. Have you tried asking yourself some deeper questions as to what might be triggering these feelings? Often our "moods" are manifestations of deeper issues that may be lurking below the surface. Our bodies give us pain to let us know when there's something physically wrong that needs attention, and I believe our minds give us the same kinds of hints when something inside needs addressing. Here's a few starter questions. Are you comfortable with your sexuality? Could that be an underlying cause? What are some of the things about you that you'd like to fix? Are some of them easily fixed? If so, can you work out a plan and then stick to it to make those changes? For the things that are harder to fix, can you come to an acceptance of them and recognize that they're a part of who you are? Everyone is a little "strange" - that's what makes us unique and special. Unless you're a psychopath, others will probably accept this strangeness as a part of who you are, or they may even like it! As for clingy, I can be that way myself, and I think it's a result of having low self-esteem. By the way, I couldn't help but notice that all of your "happy thoughts" are external - they don't directly involve you. There must be some things about yourself that you like. Pretty much everyone has likeable things about them, so don't overlook your good qualities. If you have self-esteem issues, you're not alone - but I believe there is a way to work through them. And you say that people like people who are happy - well I've got a news bulletin for you, everybody goes through down times, even the seemingly "happy" ones. To quote REM, "Everybody hurts sometimes." When you really like people, you like both their good days and their bad days; you enjoy them when they're happy and you try to help them when they're sad. That's how most humans interact, so don't feel guilty about having down days. If you ever need someone to talk to when you're down, I'll happily volunteer! :icon_bigg I may not always have answers but I can be a good listener.
(Nanner nanner nanner nanner...) (!)(!)(!)(!) (*hug*)(Hug, HUG) (*hug*) (*hug*) :thewave: (The wave, aaah it's the wave...!!) My attempts at the "Badger/Badger/Badger, Mushroom, Snake" video are probably lost. That was suck in my head due to my friend playing it over and over again the other day. :bang: But I'm sending you virtual hugs.
Wow! Thanks for all the hugs I am feeling a little better this morning. I am just gonna to some responding/thinking out loud... I think one of the main problems is that I have generalised anxiety disorder, which pretty much turns everything into a drama. E.g. I have put SOOOO much thought into the fact that the pants that I want to wear tonight are dirty - should I just wear them anyway? Should I try to get them washed and dried? Should I try that at Mum's place or the laundromat? What if they shrink when I dry them? Etc... So you can imagine that when I think about EVERYTHING in a day like that it can get pretty overwhelming. E.g. Right now I am sitting at my computer because I have too many things to do today and it just seems too hard/scary to tackle. James - I don't know if I have depression/bipolar. I find it hard to understand sometimes whether these moods are just caused by anxiety or if it's actually depression. But when I am 'down' I can hardly move, and I just cry to the point where I feel I will throw up, and I hit my head/bite my hands etc. I was seeing a psychologist all last year, and I think it helped a bit... I am happy with my sexuality, but the fact that I have never had a relationship bothers me. I want to 'fix' that I am clingy, and that I seem to be so socially inappropriate sometimes, e.g. I am either WAY too shy, or I talk too much and say stupid things. I also want to 'fix' my worrying, because I am tired of having to worry about/over-think everything. I suppose it's just me though. Anyway, thanks again people
This sounds very much like GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). Was your psychologist unable to help you with this? Are you satisfied with the therapy or treatment you're getting? It just sounds to me like it may not be well controlled yet. Maybe you need to escalate this.
She did help a bit... I couldn't make it go away though. I am also taking an SSRI now, which helped a bit. I am not seeing her anymore because she has left the place she was working. I don't feel that I can take the initiative to go and see someone else - I feel like it's not a major issue and I am just being an attention seeker.
Holy shit, everything you've written in this thread pretty much sums up EXACTLY what I've been going through lately. It honestly looks like a mirror image of something I could've written. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) I'm about 99% sure I have GAD, although I've just recently started going to therapy for it. I freak out over the tiniest little things and I overthink everything. And I have those moments--the ones in which you just feel so completely overwhelmed and hate yourself more than anything in the world--on a daily basis. And it absolutely sucks. I also completely understand your worries about clinginess and social awkwardness, because I deal with that a TON. I'm constantly obsessing over my own behavior, hating myself for the ways I interact with people. And then I end up hating myself FOR obsessing over my behavior, and it just becomes a neverending cycle of self-loathing. I've even had to miss school thanks to my crazy mood swings of anxiety and depression. I can't pretend to know what's going on in your life or even understand what you're going through, but to me it sounds scarily similar to what I'm dealing with right now. So I can definitely empathize. My only real advice (and because I haven't exactly fixed my own problems, it probably isn't very good) is to figure out things you can do when you get panicky or depressed to calm you down. For me, this includes listening to happy/upbeat music (no sad or slow songs), watching funny TV shows or movies (laughing drastically improves a bad mood for me), and talking to my close friends. Also, I've started a journal in which I write down some little things that happen throughout each day that made me smile, so that if I do start feeling depressed or anxious I can look back on it and realize that maybe life isn't so bad. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it gets better. I've recently started going to therapy, and it's already helping some. Maybe you could try that too. (*hug*)
Thanks, yep you sound like me. I like your idea of writing good things in a journal - I might give that a go. I think the trick is to do these things e.g. watching movies or listening to music before it gets too bad - you gotta catch it early or nothing works. I've had a years worth of therapy - finished a few months ago. Good luck with yours, hope it goes well. P.S. is that you in your avatar? You're cute! =P
Yeah, that's true. Once it gets bad it's really hard to get rid of it. Going straight to the happy things when you start feeling even a little upset usually works, though. And, yeah, that would be me. :icon_redf Thanks!
First of all before a hug i shall send you a wave :smilewave it is always the polite thing to do and now for your hug (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) or i guess it would be HUGS and now a wave to say goodbye :smilewave i am such a gentleman or gentlewoman?
