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Thinness

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by smartguy, Feb 25, 2010.

  1. smartguy

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    This may have been discussed before, but Swamp56's thread about weight in Health and Well-Being made me immediately think of the other end of the spectrum, being thin or underweight.

    I've always been thin (I'm 5' 8" 130 lbs) and have always been bothered by the fact that, because our society favors thinness, many people think its not offensive or hurtful to make blatantly rude comments about someone's weight because the person is thin. I eat regularly but I'm thin. On many occasions I've been told that I look gross or something along those lines. What the hell? Everyone acts so touchy about a person being overweight, so why act so differently in the opposite case?

    This is obviously more of a rant, but to all the other skinny people here, have you had similar experiences? anyone's thoughts/comments are appreciated.
     
  2. Halpert

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    Oh God, this is me. I'm 6' even, and 130 lbs. Many, many times I've been called gross. But its my healthy, normal weight. I've been this weight since I was 15! I can't seem to break the barrier. Some people just have high metabolisms. It doesn't really bother me when people call me chicken legs. Really, it just makes me chuckle. Sometimes I really wish I was a little more meaty, but whatevs, I'm fine with myself! :grin:
     
  3. mattypants

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    +1 here
    i used to be told i should eat more because i looked too thin... but i cant stomach more than 5 meals a day x_x

    halpert, i dont think the barrier can be broken xD unless for some reason your metabolism slows down haha
     
    #3 mattypants, Feb 25, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2010
  4. Jace

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    i'm 6 ft and 122 lbs
    yeahhhhh
    haha
     
  5. smartguy

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    yea, totally the same boat, though I'm not quite as tall lol
    I've tried to gain weight to no avail. I'd be satisfied being just a little meatier, but I've grown used to how I look so I'm ok with my weight now
     
  6. Johnnieguy

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    Try those "Caltene" (sp?) bars that they used in Mean Girls to make Regina George gain weight :slight_smile:
     
  7. I've actually posted about this before, but it troubles me how much people intrinsically link the concepts of "thin" and "male" to ugliness, abnormality, hyperfemininity, eating disorders, and low self-esteem. The preference for guys who look like porn stars or swimmers is baffling to me, especially coming from the gay community, and while it's true that overweight people receive the most criticism for their body size, prejudice has a tendency to go both ways.

    But yes. Since I'm about 5'10" and a little under 130 pounds, I sympathize with most people on this thread. (*hug*)
     
  8. Étoile

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    6' and 140 lbs. People constantly make comments, some mean, some not, about my weight. At first, it didn't bother me at all but as I got older, it made me feel really insecure. Noticing the guys around me growing hair and being quite bigger than me didn't help either (but I'm now happy that I don't have a hairy body. :slight_smile:) Sometimes, I feel self-conscious about wearing shorts, but I wear them anyway.

    Society's so conditioned and used to seeing meatier mean that when a skinny guy appears, it seems wrong or abnormal.
     
  9. Lexington

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    Don't let them get away with it. Call them out on it. Without anger, if you can manage it. "Why am I gross?" Then look down at yourself and shrug. "I eat just fine. I'm just skinny - that's how I'm made. Sorry if you don't like it." Doing so makes it extremely plain where the insecurity lies. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  10. ethelred

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    Oh god, yes. Mind you, I really am quite thin, and the most I get is a poke here or there at how thin I am. I find it is impossible to gain weight, and strange sleep schedules at school don't help. My sister and I, who both are slim, joke that we have black holes in our stomachs. It seems we could eat the most insane mac & cheese with lard every day and not much would happen; in fact the food I make at school is pretty bad and still nothing. It is really aggravating, because I'd rather have a little more meat of any kind.

    Though it is nice to know there others in the same boat.
     
  11. Mysterons

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    Yeah, I'm thin as well and I totally hate my body, but the only ways to grow bigger are taking steroids or doing intensive workout with a special diet. The former's unhealthy and I'm just too lazy to do the latter.
     
  12. Kirakishou

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    5'9 and 115 pounds.
    I think I'm pretty damn gross, to be perfectly honest.
     
  13. Ander Blue

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    6' and 145. I've been on the thinner side my entire life. There have been comments about it all along too and I know they've affected me. Some of the worst are when people try to tell me that I'm sickly skinny - as if they have a say. I like the proverb - Try not to remove the splinter from your neighbor's eye until you remove the plank from your own.

    I used to be able to eat anything and stay like 130 no matter what. Coming to college though - that all stopped suddenly and with no change in diet I happened upon 30 pounds between starting in August and coming home at Christmas. I think it was the most disgusting thing I've ever experienced in my life. Ugh, and when I came home, all my relatives kept saying that it was nice to see that I was starting to put a little meat on my frame! I shudder remembering it all - and when I got back to school that spring, things changed a lot in me in order to gain back my normal image. Now I'm sorta stuck in a situation now where nearly all food is disgusting - still trying to work out of it, but I think I'm making some progress. :wink:
     
  14. darkestknight

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    Same problem here. 176cm/57kgs. Never liked my proportions either. Sometimes I suffered that low-esteem because of my weight and my size. The thing is, the "thinness" runs in my family's blood and I inherit the small body frame from my father.

    But the thing is, despite whatever doctors told me about "inheritance" and "it's healthy and normal", I still got very bad remarks thrown at me.

    The word "thin", "Scrawny", "skinny" has been four-letter words to me. I never like hearing those as much as "fat", "slob" and its combinations. I'm sick of hearing these too.

    Some of my friends had been making fun of that as well. All I heard is "WHy you are.." and "you should this... and you should that..." Equally annoying.

    Only nowadays it seemed to be a bit better for me because I'm a bit heavier now because of the job in my office - a lot of eating and also carrying stuffs.

    I might subscribe myself to a nearest gym. I can't be bothered about "weight", the muscle mass is more important now.
     
  15. ethelred

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    I am not alone! I wasn't going to mention numbers unless someone was close (or the same, which is a little creepy). Christ, I would kill to be able to pull 130 or 140 like some of you guys...literally not having an appetite doesn't help. I only have "fine" and "F-ING STARVING."
     
  16. dromadus

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    None of you are alone on this. Thin and Fat both follow the genetic instructions inherited for their body type. It can change with age and physical conditions. I was always thin, then in second grade got Rheumatic Fever. An infection that can cause heart problems, I had to stay in bed for months. A thin guy who got skinnier. Well, eating more didn't help. Taking protein powders, dietary supplements, and vitamins didn't help. Working out with weights didn't help. But as I grew older, my metabolism slowed down and in its own season and time, I put on weight. I put on a little more than I wanted, so now I am concerned about what I eat.
    People have the bodies their ancestors gave them. Eye, hair, skin color. Height, weight. Some things can be changed by working out, surgery, cosmetics. Don't try too hard though.

    I have grown to understand that what matters is who I am. To quote John Lennon: "Let it be, Let it be ... words of wisdom, let it be"

    If Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, All I've seen on this thread and these postings is Beauty.
     
  17. Kevin42

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    I haven't ever had a problem with being thin (I used to be overweight) but my sister is extremely thin. It's nothing she can help, and she has always had an enormous appetite, especially for sweets. Despite all she eats, she is still very thin, and she gets very upset sometimes because she has people who joke about her being anorexic or bulimic. I worry that it hurts her self-confidence, and I am glad that the original poster brought this up to make other people aware that comments about being skinny can be just as hurtful as comments about being overweight.
     
  18. Davo

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    I only have a very loose experience of this matter. When I was about 13/14 I was repeatedly told by people that I was far too thin, I just didn't have an appetite, there was so many things I couldn't eat without feeling sick. It took a long time to overcome this aversion to fattening foods.

    I know this is stupid reasoning but I remember fancying a guy at school who while not fat, his face was round, and my cheeks were always sorta hollow, so as I wanted rounder cheeks I started stealing little snacks to try and eat more. I still couldn't eat much food at dinner, but I'd steal the occasional mars bar, or eat a slice of toast or bread at night before bed, I can't say how often I did this, but as I did my appetite started to increase. A lot of my teen years I've either repressed or forgotten so I can't go into more detail than that, all I know is I used to be unable to eat anything more than a fairy cake without being sick, now I can happily eat quite fattening foods (eating cake is no longer an issue), but my diet is really unhealthy though so don't look at this as advice, just someone elses experience
     
    #18 Davo, Feb 27, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2010
  19. ColdSnap

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    Snap, I eat more than enough food and when I was putting something on a high shelf of our stockroom in work the otherday which involved me stretching and exposing my tummy and one of my co-workers was like 'Oh my God Tom eat something would you!?' I mean I know she was joking but youo're right if I had a massive hanging out gut she'd keep her trap shut.
     
  20. Mind Freak

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    I thought I was skinny but I've got nothing on you guys!
    I catch some heat about my size sometimes but it's whatever.

    I like it so other people can go jump off a cliff if they've got beef with it. : )

    I do eat a good bit though. Not necessarily a lot but frequently.