i was talking about a mates ex who came out to him the other day saying she is a lesbian and the shit that came out of my mothers mouth made me so angry she said the only reason gay people are around is cause of a chemical inbalance when we are born, and the rest are just doing it cause its fashionable. fuck i am angry
Hey Ryan! Sorry to hear that your mum said that. (*hug*) Maybe try talking to your mum at some point about it and let her know that it makes you angry when she says these kinds of things because they are not true.
Ugh I can feel why you'd feel angry. (*hug*) That's her own internal homophobia though. And unfortunately, she has to deal with that somehow. I take it that you're not 'out' to her?
Then that's likely her way of dealing with her internal homophobia. Unfortunately some parents deal with it by lashing out verbally. My mom did with me but doesn't do it anymore. It'll maybe take her some time. If you have referred her to PFLAG or left papers or books on coming out then I'd recommend that. Other than that... time. Hmm..
You need to find a way to respond. One that doesn't involve anger (which, to her, will imply that she's right - "he's mad because I'm on to him!") or threats or name-calling. The best thing is something that implies that you've heard, you understand, but you're not interested in discussing it. "Yeah, I don't think that's the case myself." That's it. If she presses you, you can say "Well, I know what's going on in my head. I'm familiar with it. And it has nothing to do with chemical imbalances or being fashionable." Lex
Shoot, Ryan. Sorry to hear of the blockage preventing your mum from seeing the truth. Maybe you need to help her see that you are healthy, happy and wise with your chemical imbalance. I know in time her love for you will help open her eyes to "the gay" and she'll come around more fully. Good to hear from you, too. Be well. you stud! matt
