my life is over!

If you accept yourself as the person God wants you to be, then you prolly have the backbone to tell him that he drives you flippin nuts. If you are not there yet, keep visiting ec! all the best! matt

 

Hey there! Quite to the contrary of what your thread title says..your life is far from over..this may be a way to get it on the right track. If he asks you..be sure to ask him not to say anything to anyone else if this is making you that uncomfortable. Since he has a gay friend he may understand that this is a very sensative situation to you..even confide in his friend if you have to.

Like seadog said..hang out here on EC for a while, look around..get some feeling for what it would be like coming out and get used to the idea first. We are all here for ya if you need anything (*hug*)

And welcome to EC!

~Jon

 

What's the worst he can do? Tell you he's straight, right? If everyone else suspects that you're gay, finally having it confirmed won't likely make it THAT much rougher for you. Do whatever you think it best, but what's best might not be the easiest choice.

I wish I had the guts in high school to tell guys I was attracted to the truth about me.

 

I don't quite follow this;

What exactly did he tell his friends? I'm not sure how much of a "situation" there is for him not to like?! I was going to say that you're probably reading more into this than there is, but if he senses something too then there must be more to the story. Are you sure you're not making eye contact with him more than he is with you?

Contingent on the above, I think you can go two directions with this. If you're bold and want to see where this goes, then try and get closer to him - as a friend. Make conversation, find out his interests, etc. Then if and when he asks "the question", use this as your opportunity to start coming out, first to him, as long as you have gained his trust. Tell him that there might be a spark but that you want to be his friend first and foremost. If the planets all align then away you go, but if he is straight as you suspect then hopefully you'll have a good friend going forward, and that's never a bad thing.

On the other hand if you don't like this ongoing uncertainty but you're not prepared to face him or to come out yet, then you should probably just let this drift away. You can either start to ignore him, or just come out and ask him what's up with the stares? But first I'd make sure that you're not the one sending the signals here...

 

Well, first of all it sounds to me like his friends were just making an old fashioned dare. If they really knew or suspected he was gay and were encouraging him to "ask you out", you'd probably get a much stronger sense of that than you are.

I'd still push for the friends thing - the reasons you give for it not working are, to put it bluntly, not good ones. Everyone gets nervous; it's often a sign that there's some chemistry at work. Give it a fair chance. Who knows where it will go?

 

I'm definitely with James on this one. By the sounds of it, there seems to be something there. If you guys are already somewhat talking, well that's great! Just keep it up, talk casually with him and develop a friendship. It very well could go somewhere good.

But the friends encouraging him to ask you out, that scares me a little. Would they be the type of people to be mean, or to do something like that just as a joke? OR do they actually suspect he's gay? Knowing how we teens can act sometimes, I'm a little worried they were just trying to stir the pot. I certainly hope not, but that's something you may need to be wary of. Sorry, I'm not trying to scare you!

Good luck, and keep us posted!

 

So you feel that maybe they're creating this "situation" for him just to get to you, maybe because they suspect you're gay? I could see that happening... Some people can be pretty mean, can't they?

Still, if there's a potential friendship between the two of you it would easily overcome the ribbing from his friends. I can see why you'd want to run away from this situation, but your best defense might be a good offense; you'd take away their steam if the two of you became friends. And it really does sound like there's a mutual desire for friendship, unless I'm reading it wrong.

A couple of other things I noticed from your original post, he has a gay friend? That's a good sign - it sounds like he's comfortable with gay guys. Another reason to be his friend, even if he's straight! And I totally can't see why you're afraid he's going to ask you if you love him. Why would he do that? From everything you've said it doesn't sound like that would be in his character, and it's not the kind of question you ask in your average everyday conversation, if you get my drift...

But whatever happens, don't get too freaked out by it. Social dynamics in school can be quite complicated, but they also change very quickly.

 

So is he gay or not??? Or is he also having fun with his friends at your expense? This is like some soap opera where they keep you guessing for about 7 weeks until the guy turns up dead...

Would you be offended if it turns out that he's gay and he wants you?

 

Haha, At the end of class you should have given him your msn address, winked, and walked away.

But keep being friendly. Take opportunities to talk to him when you get them. Facebook stalk him. Add him on facebook if you know him well enough.

 

just get it over with...ask him already! i say since you both get too shy in person...maybe send him an email or text message...you should have his email by now since you work on alot of group school projects together...ask him out!:icon_bigg:icon_bigg:icon_bigg:icon_bigg :icon_bigg

 

Err, wait, what? Didn't you say you fell in love (and I use the term loosely) with him in your first post? And you don't want that kind of a relationship? :confused2:

 

I remember being in the closet and being conflicted about things like this. Being in love with someone, but pushing them away when it came to a real relationship "because I wasn't ready." Honestly, it's something you'll work through, but in the meantime my best advice is this, don't let your hangups get in the way of your happiness.