She is a very needy, codependant, acceptance-seeking type of person. I am a very independant, I can take care of myself if you like me thats fine but I won't lose any sleep if you hate me type of person. So her and I with three other friends started a youtube collab channel together [as ive mentioned a couple times on the forum already] and she had what she thought was this amazing-great idea. I didnt like it, and i told her reasons why i didnt. She practically imploded into self-doubt and said shes never giving any ideas for the channel ever again And for the record I wasnt like: NO THATS STUPID YOU'RE STUPID! It was more, ehh, i dont really like it. I know that shes a super sensitive person, but her codependency and neediness and such I can't really wrap my head around. She panics if she goes out on her own, I find going out with friends to sometimes be a chore, and its easier to go on my own. I want to understand her better, I don't want to look down on her as this weak, dependant person and I know right now thats what im doing. Help?
its tough finding that inner strength. You seem to have it and that attracts people who want it. The best way is to understand her is to try and see things from her point of view. How do people treat her? How does she act around large groups of people? Just be observant, see how she reacts in different situations.
I have the same issues as your friend. I'm incredibly clingy, I'm incredibly codependent and I completely overrreact when people criticize me. But what you have to keep in mind is that codependency is considered a sort of mental disorder, and most people can't help that they act that way (myself included, although I'm working on getting better). Hmm...I'm not entirely sure how to explain it. Try to think back to the last time you felt really, genuinely hurt by someone else. Now imagine getting that kind of feeling all the time, whenever anyone else does or says something that probably wasn't even intended to be hurtful. Imagine KNOWING your feelings are irrational but feeling depressed and panicky anyway. That's pretty much what it's like. Little tiny things get blown way out of proportion. Now I'm not saying you should have to be extra careful about what you say around her or anything. Just try to...be sensitive. From your post it seems like you really do care about her, and you want to continue being friends with her. And I don't blame you for getting annoyed with her (I've annoyed many of my friends with my neediness and I often wonder why they still spend time with me, haha). Just...be patient, I guess. Just a hug and saying "I care about you" can go a long way if I'm upset. Other than that, though, just try to think of her as a normal person. I mean, lots of people have emotional issues. These are just more obvious ones.
