Drinking =/

So, not an extremely serious situation, but I'm worried, because worrying is what I do best.

Tonight my high school has its last performance of The Pirates of Penzance (which I'm in). The cast party is afterwards. Last night several of us went out after the show and someone mentioned that we would "most definitely want to stay the night"... Meaning that alcohol would be involved in the plans.

Now, personally, I don't have a huge problem with that. I've drank before (yes, in my house, alone) but I've never done it at a party. This is actually my first real high school party. I don't mind being around the alcohol, and I don't mind having a drink or two, but my parents are the real problem. They're incredibly strict and I have the feeling that if they find out there was alcohol there, even i don't drink and they believe me when I tell them I didn't, I will still be in trouble for not calling and telling them to get me as soon as the drinks come out. And I want to go to this party. I'm a freshman and still a bit of an outsider among the theatre kids; this show has helped and going to the cast party is all part of the experience. I don't want to have to call and get picked up as soon as the party starts, I want to be able to spend time with my friends and become more a part of the group.

Aside from that, the one time I've ever drank I had one glass of wine and went a little loopy. So I may or may not be a bit of a lightweight. That could also be a problem, and I don't even think my parents will let me spend the night.

I actually feel really stupid asking for advice on this. I have two very different sides offering different opinions- "it's illegal, you'll get grounded, don't do it" and "screw that, you're in high school, have a drink". I don't know. I'm not asking whether teen drinking is bad or wrong or whatever. I'm just asking for advice on what to do in this situation. Thanks guys. (*hug*)

 

I personally never touched the stuff. I'd suggest the same to anyone else. I've seen it screw up too many people to think it's harmless.

 

Avoid alcohol until you are 21. You will be much better off if you refrain from drinking anything other than what your parents will allow at home. Since I turned 21 in October, I have consumed and bought alcohol less than 10 times. (And what I buy is only wine.) Trust me, I am just as (if not more) happy than people who drink regularly.

Furthermore, you should leave when the drinks come out. When I have children, if I ever find out that they go to a party like this without my knowledge, they will be in trouble. So, unless your parents give you permission to stay, you should leave. If your parents see that you are capable of making wise choices, they will trust you more in the long run.

 

I wouldn't want to go. As much as I do have that side of me that tells me "screw it, I'm a teenager, I'm allowed to be rebellious," I'm extremely cautious about alcohol. I basically spent my childhood dominated by a wine bottle more than anything else (my mother is a severe alcoholic), and so I've seen how bad it can be.

Also, your parents' trust IS more important than hanging out with your friends. There will always be other times to hang out with them.

 

To be honest with you, drinking isnt really a big deal. Yeah it is fun, and it makes it easy to bond with people. Just make sure you drink in moderation and that it doesnt get out of hand with yourself or anyone else. People like to make a huge deal about drinking underage, but you have to remember most of the world drinks before they're 21. I know I did. I'm not even turning 21 till the end of the month...

If you want to go drink with your friends, then do it. Your parents probably wont catch you, and if they do, well atleast you had some fun. Teenage years are meant for experimenting and doing stupid stuff so let yourself do that stupid stuff if you want to do it. Dont let anyone pressure you into doing it if you dont actually want to do it.

And let me tell you, it's those who dont drink that have a huge problem with it because they dont understand it. I'v never met someone who drank and didnt atleast enjoy it while it lasted.

Things you should know:
Just because you drink this one time doesnt mean you'll become an alcoholic.
If you drink in moderation, you should be fine.

Drinking with friends makes strong bonds. You let your guard down around eachother and can relax and be yourself and not worry about things.

Sorry this is kindof a long post, but i feel it's necessary because there seems to be a lot of people on these forums who have either had bad experiences or have strong opinions against drinking because they've never done it themselves.

Dont knock it until you try it.

 

Well, honestly, you do what ever you want.
Things to consider:
Untill around 21 the brain isn't fully developed and alcohol stunts brain growth.

You wont get shunned for not drinking and if you do those fools are not worth it.

If you do drink, take it easy.

If your that worried about your parents either don't go or go and dont drink. If they do find out about the alcohol be honest.

 

I have to say that I think this is bad advice. First of all, sure you can drink inmoderation and be fine. I don't think anyone would disagree with that. In fact, light drinking of wine can be beneficial to your health. Drinking under 21 in the United States carries other risks though: mainly it is illegal, and getting caught can have terrible consequences. The fact that you would minimize these consequences to someone who is 15 and has their whole life ahead of them is not smart. Furthermore, since researchers are unsure of the correlation between drinking at an early age and later alcohol dependence, I don't know why you would treat this so casually.

Secondly, yes drinking with friends can help create bonds. However, you make it sound that drinking is what makes the bonds, when it is not. You yourself say that it is sharing things and being yourself that makes the bonds. Alcohol is not at all required to "be yourself". In fact, it would seem to me that if alcohol is something a person needs to strengthen their bonds of friendship, that would be a form of alcohol dependence.

Finally, you seem to be under the impression that most people who are advocating against a 15 year old drinking at a party are inexperienced at drinking, don't know how to drink, or have had a bad experience. This may or may not be true, but I myself have not had any bad experiences with alcohol, and I do drink on the occasion. I have tried it, I drink occasionally (not to the point of drunkenness, which is foolish for anyone), and I am not "knocking it". I am simply pointing out that underage drinking has NO benefit, and the only possible negative consequences FAR outweigh any other consequences. Your advice seems to be, "It can be fun, it has worked for me, so do whatever you want." While you appear to be against people who use anecdotal evidence to dissuade others from drinking, you yourself are using your own experience to say, that it essentially isn't a big deal. I think this is unwise, and in the future would hope you would reconsider the advice about drinking you give 15 year olds. Teenage years should be fun, but why on earth you would advocate they are for "doing stupid things" is beyond me. The idea that it's ever good to act intentionally stupid is foolish and immature.

 

Rather than give advice like "Don't drink." which would be rather hypocritical of me, I think it's more important for you to think about whether or not you want to, or should drink, in this situation. First off: Don't drink if you don't want to, don't let anybody pressure you into doing it or anything. Second off: Do you trust the people at the party completely, and even you don't trust all the people there, do you have friends there who you trust completely (and who also won't be getting too drunk to watch out for you). If the answer to either one of these questions is no, I suggest not drinking at all. The next piece of advice is just to, if you decide to drink, do it in moderation. Make sure you know the alchohol content of any drink you take (like, you see it mixed yourself), and don't let yourself go too far beyond tipsy.

Drinking isn't bad, but going into it without knowing what your getting yourself into, is bad. Just make sure you realize the potential consequences of drinking, and if you decide to drink, do it as safely as possible.

Also, keep in mind I approach drinking from the perspective of a college student. I didn't drink in High School at all, and there will likely be more consequences that can come of drinking in High School than I'm familiar with.

 

Thanks to everyone who answered. I know that drinking can have awful consequences and there are correlations between teenage drinking and alcoholism later in life. I want to make it clear that I'm not interested at all in getting wasted. I'm interested in going and having a good time with my friends, and if I do drink at all, it won't be very much. I'm just freaking out because I don't want to miss out on the party but I don't want to get in trouble either. I know I'll have a good time even if I don't drink, so that's not the issue. The issue is my parents' reaction if they find out. I don't know. My mind is going in circles. :bang:

 

Don't drink. Carry around a cup of apple juice if you need to "seem hip".
But I think you should go to the party. Have a way to get home if you need to leave early/ things get out of control, but go, have a good time, and be relieved and proud of your performance!

-Miles

 

I'm with Miles. If you don't want to drink, carry around something bubbly or in one of those red beer cups (if they're at the party). People will think you're drinking anyway.

Also, make sure one of your friends or people you know going to the party is NOT drinking, and will be Designated Driver for others and yourself possibly. You could always pay them $5 to take you home if they promise to remain sober.

But honestly, if worse comes to worse, call your parents (after walking a few blocks from the party) and ask for a ride home. At least you'll be physically safe this way (if your DD ended up drinking after all etc). Or a taxi?

 

I wouldn't drink.

Personally, I've never drank alcohol and I never will. The facts are in the research and findings; they aren't lies to scare you away from drinking. Some people have a genetic disposition to alcoholism if their parents or other relatives were alcoholics. Alcohol isn't necessary for or guaranteed fun. You can "be yourself" and "create strong bonds" with your friends without drinking. Alcohol doesn't work the same for everyone. Some people loosen up, some get angry, some get emotional, some get obnoxious. Some can handle copious amounts, some are gone after the second drink. Being tipsy or drunk could actually hurt your friendships. You could end up doing or saying something stupid.

Adolescence is about having fun and doing daring things. Seize the opportunity; you only get to be this age once. Nevertheless, there's a difference between daring and stupid. Stupid stuff can come with stupid consequences, avoidable consequences. Drinking is a big deal, this "live and let live" attitude is what caused friendships, relationships, opportunities, lives to be lost. Saying it's no big deal for minors to drink is terrible advice. Not only is it illegal, it's dangerous. Whose to say everyone has the same self-control as you? I've heard my classmates talk about driving when they were tipsy or drunk. I'd be a big deal for me if I was on the road with a drunk driver.

The moral story aside LOL, convince your parents that they can trust you to not drink or at least be smart about it if you're going to. You don't have to drink but if you do, drink only a cup or two, make sure you know what's in the drink, and stay around friends you can trust and aren't drunk themselves.

 

Listen to your inner voice. Do what you think is best for you.

Think about the pros and cons. Yes, you want to fit in, but do you want to risk the consequences?

If you do chose to drink, make sure that you KNOW your limits! Do not go overboard. Don't listen to people when they say: Oh come on, you can have one more!

ALWAYS have your own glass at hand and do not let anyone make you a drink. Pour it yourself!

But all of this is taken into consideration if you do chose to drink. Remember, being an individual is more important than risking who you really are just because you want to blend in with everyone else. Trust me, it is not worth it. Good luck!!!

 

this isn't really the matter here, but i personally think having that "no drinking before 21" thing in america is so stupid, cos i think people should learn how to handle the alcohol, how much you can drink until you get really drunk, and how can you learn that when you're not legally allowed to drink?

from my german point of view i'd say, go to the party, have a beer or some vodka-o but don't overdo it, and enjoy yourself. don't let your parents control your life too much, you need to make your own experiences to learn for life, and that doesn't necessarily mean you have to get completely pissed, but for me it means you should try the drinking thing out and then decide if it's what you want or not

i personally used to never ever drink, i didn't like the taste of alcohol and i thought it was really stupid and unneccesary but as time went by i leanrt to appreciate a beer during a concert or cocktails or just a drink to ease up at a party..and i don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as youre able to control it

but then again, you live in america. it's illegal over there...so maybe that is what would stop me from drinkning, cos i don't know what happens if you get cuaght/how strict they are on underage drinking etc

 

welll think of it this way: if you go to the party make sure your parents know where youre going to be. i thought my parents would kill me when they caught me drinking, but they told me they knew i would be experimenting. however they were pissed because i had people drinking at my house and thats illegal.

that said: your parents care about you. and from what you've told us, they won't kill you if you ask for a ride because the party is getting out of hand. most parents would rather you safe and stupid than stupid and in danger. good luck

 

Go to the party, pretend to drink. Have your parents pick you up at a reasonable time.

Don't drink until you go to college. You'll be 18 and better able to make good choices for yourself. You don't need to wait until you're 21, unless you want to-in which case you should have friends to support you.

 

No matter what you drink, alcohol or not, never put your cup down and then drink from it again. Date-rape happens when people don't watch their drink; also, it's better to pour your own drink or watch someone pour it from a bottle-- NEVER take a drink that someone else poured, because it could be drugged. I know you'll be with your cast, but still... be careful.

 

So once again, I overanalyzed the situation. It's 1:25 and I'm at home now, and we didn't even get to the party until 12:30. Everyone was so exhausted we all basically ate food, cuddled on the couch, and watched the Da Vinci Code. The party will probably go on for another couple of hours, and the drinks may come out later. But it was definitely anticlimatic. But I'm glad I didn't have to make any difficult decisions

 

I'm going to be honest, there will be times in life where social or work situations may call on you to have a drink. It's not particularly fair, but that's the way it is sometimes. I know that in my work, there are people who go out and have fun with the bosses, and those who don't - you can guess which group enjoys preferential access and seems to move up the promotion ladder faster.

I think people on here made some valid points - drinking under 21 isn't legal in a lot of places - where I'm from, the legal drinking age is 18 - but that certainly doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I think what's most important is to be smart - if you don't know how much you can handle, don't drink much. Make sure your plans are mapped out - how will you get from point A to point B once you've begun drinking.

I am a social drinker - parties, after work sometimes, and wine with dinner for examples - when I was younger, living at home, I'm sure there were moments that my parents were less than thrilled when their son came home drunk. That being said, they were much happier when I came home in a taxi, or spent the night somewhere rather than making the very poor decision to drink and drive.

For people who don't drink, I think that's a perfectly reasonable choice. I do not personally support the view that all alcohol is bad, and will lead to bad things though. Some of my closest friends have been those I've gone to parties with and had some drinks with - it is a bonding experience.

In this case, you did avoid a difficult situation, but I think it is likely you will be in this situation again.

Personally, I've never really supported having a drinking age of 21 - I think that when young people begin drinking, it's best that they are still at home, so they have the support of parents (including discipline when necessary), rather than having them start drinking when they are away at university and away from all adult supervision.