Well, i only came out last march and starting college this year has been a very eye opening experience. it's basically the first time in my life that i can hookup with or potentially date whomever i please without having to worry about being outed, since i already took care of that part :icon_wink but here's the thing, the guys who i've hooked up with at my school have been 1) a senior 2) an alum from 3 years ago 3) a 30 year old french professor (i don't take french, don't worry). is this a big deal? I'm 18 mind you, and i usually never make judgements based on age, im more about 'where you are in life' rather than your date of birth... OH! and this is where the real problem lies--> i REALLY REALLY like the alum from 3 years ago and we have a date lined up for next week! is someone three years out of college too much for a freshman??? thanks all
Haha well, the terms I've heard of for someone in your position is grave robber (as opposed to someone who is older and tends to date/hookup/what have you with younger people being a cradle robber). But I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing, you said yourself their ages don't concern you much, where they are in life is more of a focal point. Plus since you're both adults, you don't run into all the legal mess of what happens if you decide to get together. I don't think someone three years out of college is too much for a college freshman, because after all "freshman" is just another way of saying you're in your first year of college, it means almost nothing outside of school. So I say go for it
Seriously, considering it is your situation and you're more about "where you are in life", I think the question shouldn't be "Is someone three years out of college too much for a freshmen?". The question should be 'Is someone three years out of college too much for me?' Personally I think age difference doesn't really matter if the younger of the two is at least 19 which being a freshmen in college you basically are so I don't see a problem. Again though it is totally your decision if it is too much for you or not.
I totally feel ya. I tend to be interested in older people as well... and I don't see anything wrong with it. Especially for someone who's 18, as opposed to me being 15 and having law involved and such. I don't think the age itself should play a factor as much as both of your maturity levels.
Renesmee Cullen. as uncouger as possible to be. As they say, age is relevant. You both are consenting adults, so if you mesh well together emotionally and personality-like, then why should you question if you should have a relation ship. It is not like he is forty years your senior (like the first guy to ask me out... blech), and sure, people might talk trash about it, but it is something that has to be a mutual choice between you, and sod-off anyone who challanges it.
Well a cougar is an older female, so I would say that a bear would be an older male? Heh. Papa bear, mama cougar.. Anyway, as long as you are consenting adults, and there isn't an overt shift of power (as in the older guy doesn't try to rule your life and tell you what to do or force you to do things you don't want to) and you're both at similar points in your maturity or life then... I'd say go for it. But take it slow. Some people don't understand age differences. I've experienced that myself. I once dated an older woman because I have the maturity of someone about five years older-with a playful side so I tend to be attracted to women that are older as well.
Actually, I can tell you bear has a different definition for most gay guys. But a daddy bear wouldn't exactly be a false label, just not exactly what you might have in mind. And don't stress about age, who cares. If you like the guy (and you're of consenting age), go for it and give it a shot.
The term for you would be "fresh meat". And is there a problem dating a three-year alum (who's 25 or so, I take it)? Not as long as you both go in with both eyes open. Lex
The chase isn't as much fun, but I've found the relationships tend to be a little more meaningful. And while we might not be fresh, I'm sure we're both still prime cuts lol.
yeah i really agree with most of you, but i feel like my family would be CRAZY uncomfortable with it, being that he is about 25, and that is the age of the youngest of my three sisters... i guess it's not a big deal, and i'm probably over thinking it, but i just keep reminding myself that he has only invited me on our second date, we live about 5 hours apart when i'm at school, and he might not want a relationship... i'll let you all know how it goes (and i really like the term 'fresh meat' hahahahaha)
Well, When he's 100, you'll be 93 and no one will see the difference More to the point, I think that there's nothing wrong with it in and of itself. As you say yourself, it's more a question of where you are in life. I have plenty of people my own age that are busy with way different things in life (building a house, raising kids), whle I know quite a few college students that I have way more in common with (not to the point of dating them, but stil...) So age is only telling one part of the story. Just make sure that when the date happens, you make sure to discover whether you're at that same place in life, and that he's not just doing this to get to the proverbial "fresh meat". Your family might be uncomfortable with it, though I guess families are always a bit uncomfortable with gay kids dating anyone. If you go about this carefully, if this goes any further, then I'm sure you'll be able to get the confidence to break the news to them.
I'd make sure your objectives align before going to far into it. An age difference becomes less of a factor as you get older, but still it's important that you're both hoping to get the same things out of the experience or relationship (as it may be). But then that's probably good advice for any relationship, so... Good luck!
Yeah, again don't let the age difference bother you if you both like each other and want the same thing. Hell, I'm halfassed seeing a 21 year old, and that's a six year age difference, but it doesn't matter and I like him. Don't let a small number of years keep you from finding happiness.
To be honest, I personally dont like the idea of two people that far apart in age being together. But it's not like it really bothers ME all that much. I have a friend who's 21 and she's married to a 37 year old man. Love is love, who are we to judge that. Just be careful you're not being used, there are a lot of guys out there who i'm sure would love to have a fling with an 18 year old boy.
Oh lawd. hahaha Anyways, I heard from my friends that the opposite of a cougar was a kitten. Don't know why. On topic, I think age is an important factor in determining a relationship but not the only one. If you guys fit together personality-wise and emotionally connect then why not go for it? It's not like seven years is that much of a difference.
What most people have said above pretty much covers what I had to say. Just make sure that if you go out with some one much older you don't let them exploit you, as for some that may be the case. Other than that, age, as long as the relationship is good, works out fine in my books. By the way, and I find this hilarious, but the terms you are looking for can vary among the following; Kitten, Gerbil, dragon slayer (I LOLed so hard at this one), and prey.
