Do I have a choice..

I would try to gauge her LGBT tolerance. Do you hang out with her at all?

 

I had similar issues with a roommate and landlord, including the breaking into my room part. I told the roommate, never told the landlord. Keep in mind that if you're under lease they can't exactly evict you for being gay, but at the same time sometimes it's better to just maintain the status quo with people that you have contractual relations with.

 

Wow, she definitely shouldn't be going through your stuff. And I'm pretty sure that legally you're entitled to a lock on your door if you want one. You should maybe look into the legality of that.

Maybe you could just try mentioning something about your "girlfriend" and see how she reacts?

 

Have you any idea on where she stands about gay people ?
Maybe you should try to bring LGBT matters, like gay rights for exemple, when you're discussing with her ans see how she reacts. If she seems to be supportive or doesn't care, you probably can come out to her.

 

Let me propose a little perspective. If you were a straight girl, would she let you bring a guy into the room and have him spend the night? It sounds like the rules are the rules and the answer would be no. So then you're kinda taking a little advantage of being gay to circumvent the rules, aren't you?

I think it's less about "coming out" to her and more about being up front about your girlfriend. As your landlady I believe she has the right to set rules about friends and "more". If you don't like the rules, then you should probably be looking for another place, or just bide your time until school is over. Then it's your decision - weigh the pros and cons and act accordingly, but I don't think you're being honest with her or yourself.

Of course this doesn't give her any right to go through your stuff, period. Whether you come out to her or not this issue needs to be addressed separately. Rather than a coming out note, I'd leave a note among your personal stuff saying something like "Anyone who finds this note is snooping in my private stuff and I know you're doing this. Just thought you'd want to know that I know..."

 

Usually I would say that she doesn't need to know your sexuality, but given that you're sharing an apartment with her, and given the terms of your agreement, I think that she needs to know, especially if she's going through your stuff. She doesn't really have a right to do that without damn good reason behind it. Being gay isn't a good enough reason.
From what you said about her reaction to possibly having a gay student, she just may not have encountered it very much in her life, so there's always the possibility that she wants to be alright with it, she just doesn't know how. You may be surprised.
I really think you should go for it.
Whatever your decision, good luck!(*hug*)

 

I have to disagree here. A landlord/landlady is not a parent, and RaeofLite is an adult. I don't see any reason at all that she should have to hide or ask for permission before bringing home her partner.

I could certainly see that it might make her uncomfortable, and thus make living arrangements awkward. And it would be different if you were having big noisy parties in your room. But you've already brought your girlfriend home as a "friend", so as far as I'm aware she would have no legal recourse in suddenly forbidding you from having her over once she finds out she's your girlfriend.

 

It's a little odd that you live WITH your landlady. It's also a little weird that she has any control over your life beyond your living arrangments. It's not really any of her buisness what your personal life is. That being said, do you like your landlady, like are you friends or atleast do you get along?

I think you shouldnt come out to her per se. Just be yourself and do what you want, and if she has a problem with it, that's too bad, because it's your life not hers. Also, if she did have a huge problem with it and you have a lease with her, she's legally obligated to allow you to live there for the entire lease. She cant evict you unless it is for your own health and well being.

 

You said she's a teacher. I'm pretty sure most teachers are smart enough to realize the international symbol for GAY, unless she herself has been locked in a closet (ha, ha) for all of her life. So if she hasn't said anything about it to you, and she already knows, I don't think verbalizing it will make much difference either way. Because as I see it, you're already out to her.

Unless it was specifically written into the agreement, the landlady really cannot do a damn thing. And even if it was, unless RaeofLite was *ahem* making considerable noise with her friend, it would be extremely difficult for the landlady to legally enforce.

Speaking of the agreement... what kind of notice is required?

Do you have a webcam? Set it to record every time you go out and point it at your bed! Just remember to turn it off when your girlfriend comes over... :lol:

 

Ha ha, how vague. It wouldn't hold up in a court or the tenancy board; she wouldn't be able to kick you out over it, by any means. If she made issue of it, you could simply write her something that gave notice your girlfriend would be over every day. :lol:

 

If her tenancy falls under the Residental Tenancy Act, the landlady would have to provide her written notice of the breach of contract, and give her adequate time to correct it. The only way the landlady could get around that would be to prove that through breaching the contract, she was unreasonably disturbed or her person or property was put in jeopardy. Even then, RaeofLite could dispute it, and based on what I have read, the landlady would lose.

Note: If it's an illegal suite, you still fall under the Residential Tenancy Act.

Edit: Checked the act, and it doesn't apply to living accomodations in which the tenant shares a bathroom or kitchen with the owner. Doh!