The more people I come out to, the more I think about this girl I like, the more I indulge myself with new outfits bought in the men's section, the more lesbian literature and modern fiction I read, the shorter I cut my hair, the more I decline sex with my male friend, the more I think about removing my IUD for good, the more perverted, tense, deviant, and awkward I feel. But also excited, hopeful, aroused... :icon_sad: I think part of me is still in denial. Please someone tell me it's normal to feel disgusted at yourself for a little while, and that it won't always be like this...
If sex were totally safe, totally clean, and totally normal...geez, why bother? It's more fun when it's "naughty". It probably won't be long before the "deviancy" begins to feel a lot more normal. Lex
I won't make up statistics and tell you that everyone goes through what you are going through, but I know I certainly did. It sounds like you are just recently coming to terms with your sexuality, in which case it is really something new for you, so it's normal to feel a bit put off about it. After all, we are raised in a society that generally frowns upon homosexuality, and those societal undertones are difficult to purge from one's mind, no matter how much you may want to. In time, they will pass; the only advice I can offer is to be patient. That said, all of the things you are doing now (as you described in your post) shows that you are coming to terms with your sexuality and starting to see it as a part of yourself, so you are definitely on your way to where you want to be.
