Hi all Anyone around that's polyamorous? I may be about to become involved with a polyamorous person who already has at least one serious partner. Advice? I have read most of http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html . It's been very helpful. Thought i'd ask here anyways =)
Every time I hear the term "polyamorous" I think of the guy on Million Dollar Listing who said he was polyamorous, but now identifies as just gay. Advice? Not that I have much experience with polyamory, but I would recommend you do some soul searching first. I believe there are a relatively few number of people that can pull off open or polyamorous relationships successfully. Jealousy, favoritism, etc. often comes into play. If you are emotionally strong enough to handle all of the challenges that come with a 3-way (or more) relationship, then I don't see a problem with it. But I dare make the generalization that most people aren't.
Well, if it happens, i'm not entering a relationship with her AND her partner(s). Just her. But she has at least one other. I don't mind =) I think we're pretty much on the same page. I was just looking for tips on people with experience, since i have none.
no i am not polyamorous its not for me, i just cant see it working out. sure it might work for some people...
I know a couple in an open relationship but from the definition you linked this thread with, that's not a part of what polyamory is about. I've had multiple crushes at once (when single) but I can't imagine being emotionally and physically invested in two women at once. I like the security of monogamy and spoiling that special someone.
Hey mate. To be honest, I don't think you would find many polyamorous guys about. In any case, I reckon that it's something you should find out for yourself, both because it is YOUR relationship, and not many or no one else can really have that much of an input into it, except those in the relationship. Hope things work out though bro.
Quite right. Not really interested in her husband... Doesn't seem my type. Plus, he's straight. To clarify, the issue here is that i am as yet inexperienced in polyamory and searching for people WITH experience to share their wisdom with me based on any potential problems they've encountered. I am comfortable with the concept of polyamory and can see it working for me. But a rookie mistake which may not be obvious in theory is something i would like to avoid if possible. I appreciate the input of everyone, but i don't really need to hear why polyamory won't work for you, or whether i will have any luck finding a polyamorous male companion. Cheers anyway though =)
Don't get involved. Polyamory doesn't work for various reasons that people have already stated..Jealousy, favoritism, etc. Beds are made for 2 people for a reason.
Hi there! I'm sorry, this is probably going to be long, poly is a big part of my dating history and my sexual orientation identification process: I was in a long-term relationship with my best friend, who was male. At the time, I identified as bisexual. He wanted me to explore this part of myself, so he encouraged me to find a relationship with a woman. So I did. I met a girl who I liked a lot. I dated both him and her, separately. The two of them were never involved with each other; both were involved with only me. This worked out well for us. No one got jealous, no one fought. Lots of communication. Rules explicitly laid out. Everyone involved in all decisions. Basically the ideal poly situation. After about five months, she found a guy that she liked a lot. This guy was monogamous. She was going to try to convince him to let her stay with me, but I told her that I was uncomfortable with her making him uncomfortable. So we parted ways and she dated him. They are still together and are monogamous and very happy. A while after her, I met another girl, and started dating her (while I was still dating the guy). We entered into the exact same relationship model again. This worked very well for about seven months, until the girl I was with broke the rules. She cheated. I was very hurt. I asked her why she hadn't simply discussed it with us, as was the policy we had agreed on. She didn't have an answer. We broke up. This brings up another dimension of my poly experiences. My relations with these women were spectacular, and made me realize what I had been lacking in every heterosexual relationship I had ever had (of which there were unfortunately many). I realized that I was very unsatisfied when I was only dating my boyfriend, when I didn't also have a girl to be with. In fact, after the first time I had sex with a girl (the second girl, the one who cheated), I never wanted to have sex with a boy again. And I avoided it like the plague. I didn't realize I was avoiding it, and him in general, until this girl and I broke up. I felt an emptiness, a loneliness, and a sort of... dread... that I would now only be with a boy. I realized that I was a lesbian. That I had been using poly as a way to explore my true sexuality without losing the security blanket of the guy my parents wanted me to marry. I came out. The guy and I broke up. Don't worry; we're still best friends and we talk every day. So... I don't know whether you'd call my experiences positive or negative. They're just experiences. I hope that helped you at least a little bit. Best of luck to you. It takes so much trust and dedication to want to pursue something like this, so I tip my hat to you, lol.
lol... you didn't read that link at all, did you? [edit] and i never said i ever wanted more than 1 other person in my bed at any time.
Hi there! Honestly, I don't know what all the hubub is about. After reading about it, educating yourself and giving it some thought, and if you still feel comfortable about it, I'd say go for it. After you have tried it and you find it to be a bit much for you or it is something you don't really like, you can always say, 'sorry this is not working out for me.' Have you lost anything if that would happen? No, not really. By giving it a try you might learn a couple of things about yourself and others. In some ways being open about other possibilities (if you wanted to give the dating/involvement with the other guy a chance) is an education worth experiencing and having.
Yeah i agree. We're already seeing each other, it's really quite nice. We get along like a house on fire =) And the other guy is straight, and not at all my type anyways. But yes, education is right!
I agree with Mirko - why is poly so confusing? Personally I'd prefer monogamy, but I have trouble understanding why so many people make incorrect assumptions about poly/open relationships. It's often very similar to the unfair prejudices I've seen leveled against bisexuality. Is it prejudice affecting logic? A lack of willingness to educate oneself?
well know that you told us the other guy is not gay i dont see the point. i mean sure you might like the girl , dont poly just steal her from him xD / now seriously , if you like the girl and every one is ok then why not try, its a life experience. xD
