I've only posted here once, it was about my boyfriend and our long distance relationship yadda yadda etc. Anyway, we broke up and I feel like shit. I stayed faithful, didn't cheat or even consider it after the first situation where I would have had the opportunity. Long story short, turned out he was 16 and several other complications arose. I just still feel empty and alone, I don't understand why it had to be the way it was. I tried so hard to make it work, even after finding out he had lied to me about his age. I was trying so hard to help. I'm more depressed than ever, I'm apparently not good at hiding it either as everyone I know is constantly asking me if I'm "okay". I just don't know what to do. Every relationship I have ever been in has ended in disaster, usually with me being the party that suffers while my ex runs off happily into the motherfucking rainbow sunset. I swear to God I'm gonna end up alone for the rest of my life, other guys only use me. I feel like I want to fucking die all over again, not because of this particular break up but because I can't find happiness no matter how hard I search. This is just another shitty situation to remind me that I'm going to remain miserable. Or, maybe I'm just a pussy. I don't know. I still haven't drank for four months now. I'd hate to tell my current ex but he wasn't really the reason for me quitting the booze, it was a friend of mine whom I am very glad I still have. I don't really know what I'm looking for here, maybe reassurance that eventually I'll find my soulmate and live happily freakin' after, just like in some cheesy romance flick or some shit.
First of all: take a few (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) Because you deserve them. Yes, breakups hurt, especially if you did nothing wrong, and every single time you fall in love feels like you've invested so much of yourself in it that you're drained forever and will never manage to find anything like it ever again. However, the good news is that that's not how it works. There's a lot of pain, yes. And it takes some time to get through that. But eventually you'll meet someone new and you'll discover that you're happy again, and that the pain you felt before is forgotten in the blink of an eye. Of course, first of all, you just need to get through the post-breakup pain. A few thoughts that might help you: - While it might seem like your partner is now all happy and gleefully running into the sunset, that might not be true at all. He might feel really bad about it too, but just not showing it. If he wants to distance himself from you, then he might not want to appear emotionally vulnerable. Never assume that you're the only one feeling bad. If you won't be hearing from him again, it's bad to keep second-guessing how he feels and what he's doing though. You can keep lessons from this, but wondering about what he's doing isn't going to help you. And, more importantly: - Why are you hiding all of this from your friends? If they ask you whether something's wrong, why not admit that you feel bad and need some support? Friends aren't just there for going out, having fun and playing games. They're there for support in tough times as well. Talking about why you feel bad and have people listen is often just what is needed to start feeling better. As the saying goes: A shared burden is only half a burden. This friend that got you off the drink seems like a good friend, so why not just chat about it with him? And of course, if you feel like talking about it more, we're here too. Feel free to post about it in this thread, or send a PM to any of the staff. That's what we're here for! Even though this went wrong, and even if it doesn't feel like it right now: you learned from this. And you will meet someone new in time. And then all heartbreaks that happened in the past will be fast forgotten. (*hug*)
Hey - Filip is right. The periods where we feel great last forever. The periods where we feel like shit don't last forever. What you are going through is appropriate for the moment. It sucks, like having a hangover or a stomach bug, but this too will come to pass. If it doesn't pass, it is probably time to look deeper. My only other thought is how fatalistic you sound here. Perhaps this is temporary and only reflects what you're going through at the moment. But if these ideas are part of your ongoing mental dialogue, they have a way of becoming self-fulfilling prophecy. If I truly believe I will be along for the rest of my life, there is a sort of cosmic force that will help that happen. It will be important to change this thinking about life in general and about yourself in particular. And congratulations on the sobriety. Numbing pain never gets rid of it - it only helps us push it down deeper. Peace,
