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not been a good 2 years

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by malachite, Mar 12, 2010.

  1. malachite

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    So last two years haven't exactly been great. I lost a job I really liked (position was cut) and now work one I don't like and one a sort of do, I lost both my Grandparents (we were close), a lot little stupid things as well, and I'm still batting zero in my love life.

    I just feel like every time I get something good going something bad is there kick me in the balls and make things worse.

    I don't know why its all hitting me now, maybe because someone mentioned I don't have the best of luck, but I feel really down and unmotivated about life. Its getting hard just to get out of bed in the morning.



    Any thoughts boys and girls?
    :help:
     
  2. matty123

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    well life isn't meant to be easy, its the rough patches that shape you into the person you are, it sucks about your grandparents and you getting the sack but these aren't things you can change, you just have to move on, and as for the love life, well love can't be rushed.
     
  3. Spectre

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    I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents. (*hug*)

    I know how you feel. There are times in life where it feels like the whole world is working against you. Or where it feels like you're being hit by a freight train. These moments are the ones that help you to recognize what is good in life.

    All I can tell you is to try to force yourself out there. Talk to other people. Make connections. Seek counseling if the former is too daunting. Do activities that you enjoy. Get outside in the sun and fresh air. Try exercise, as it will help with energy levels and endorphins. Eat foods rich in vitamin B12 or take a supplement. And if all else fails, talk to your doctor about an antidepressant.

    In doing some of the above, you'll likely start to feel better. And if you don't do anything you'll only beat yourself up later for wasting weeks, months, years where you "felt down" and didn't do anything about it.

    (*hug*)
     
  4. D_Alejandro

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    I can absolutely relate to this at the moment. I'm losing motivation in school and life. Whenever something good happens, something bad is there to take it away. But be strong! You have to be a fighter not a victim.

    I'm hanging in there and trying my best to be positive about life.

    How do you feel about yourself? The identification of the self relates a lot regarding your outlook on life. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? If you have a positive outlook on life you are bound to feel better and think happier thoughts and thus be motivated to succeed more than you think.

    Tragedies occur to everyone. I'm sorry about your grandparents and your job.

    Regarding your grandparents: With love comes loss. Take the good and happy times that made you close. Celebrate their life. Remember them in ways that will inspire you. Remember, they wouldn't want you to be sad all the time, now would they?

    Regarding your job: It happens...however, you STILL have a job, correct? The other day I was at work and this kid walked in begging for an application, protesting about the economy and telling the managers that if he got the job, it would really make his day. Now mind you, I work at a place where they pay you minimum wage. It made me think a little about my attitude towards it. You may not like your job, but at least you have one. There are thousands of people out there who would do anything for employment, especially during these hard times!

    Regarding your love life: Don't rush it! It will be more than special when it happens. <3

    And remember to SMILE! Even if you are in a sad mood, smiling will make you feel better. Trust me. :slight_smile:

    :thumbsup:
     
  5. malachite

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    Thing is I am fighter, but I just feel sooooooooooo drained, like my emotional well has run dry. Everything that might just irritate you makes so f:***:king mad. And things that might make you feel a little down depress the shit out of me.
     
  6. malachite

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    sorry to seem like such a bitch all, just not feelinmyself lately. :icon_sad:
     
  7. Eleanor Rigby

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    First thing I am sorry about your grand-parents (*hug*)(*hug*)
    And I know what you mean.
    The last 3 years haven't been that good for me either, and since last summer, I feel like things are just getting worse. Latly I have felt physically and emotionnaly exhausted.
    I think that starting a therapy could help you. I know it helps me. Not that it makes things in itself better, but it help me to deal with the feelings of anger and anxiety they cause me.
    And indulge yourself from time to time. Do something you like just for yourself, whether it is baking a chocolate cake, going to the cinema, calling a friend, taking a buble bath... Sometimes it's enought to keep yourself in a more optimistic mood.
    Take care and if you need to talk, you're very welcome to contact me anytime :slight_smile:
     
  8. Mirko

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    Hi there!

    Not at all, and no worries. This is what EC is here for. Glad you wrote things out. Never feel bad about writing things out or talking about them. (*hug*)

    Sorry to hear about the passing of your grandparents. It is totally alright to talk about it with others, such as your parents and/or a close friend. Remember the good times and the great moments that you had with them No one will ever be able to take these away from you. Remember them. (*hug*)

    Every time you feel down and feel that things are not going anywhere, remind yourself of the success that you did have as well. Use the success that you did have to motivate yourself and tell yourself, I have done it before, and I can do it again.'

    As Spectre indicated maybe try to get to know some new people, or try making some new friends. Are there any LGBT groups in your area that you could join?
     
  9. malachite

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    ok 3 things.

    1: thanks you all for the kind words, it means a lot.

    2: I know what was causing my mental break down, the meds the dentist had me on after my my wisdom teeth were out. He asked how I feeling then mentioned one of those rare but serious side effects are depression, so I flushed the rest of those bad boys down the drain.

    3: now the only thing bothering me is that those feelings had to come from somewhere, the feelings of pointlessness and such, so while I can function again I have this nagging feeling of those bad feelings.
     
  10. Mirko

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    Hi there! I think it is good that you have identified one of the sources that caused you to feel down and depressed.

    But if you still have some of the feelings lingering around you might want to dig a bit deeper and figure out what caused you to feel this way. I think that any combination of the things you have mentioned can weigh on you and perhaps trying to make a few new friends, or try to be a bit more socially active as it where might help a little bit as well.

    Maybe try seeing a counselor too, either at school or in your community to talk about some of the things that are bothering you. Sometimes, talking about things and getting feedback and new questions in return can help us in understanding issues deeper and start addressing some of the underlying causes. Sometimes, we are not fully aware or understand all the causes. Only through the help of others, and talking out loud about out problems and what is bothering us, will we learn as to what is actually going on.

    Give it some thought. But glad you are feeling better again! (*hug*)
     
  11. Sylver

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    Let me start by offering you my most sincere sympathies for everything - your grandparents, for your job and for the way you are feeling right now. (*hug*) It's nothing to be ashamed of - we all go through downs in our lives and this is just your turn to ride it out.

    Let me offer you a big-picture scenario. When you step back from your current misery and look at your life as a whole, you'll see that it is comprised of both ups and downs. The downs seem particularly nasty when you're riding one of them through, but you see that every down is followed by an up, eventually. I know it sounds corny, but there is a cycle to life - the night is always followed by the day, winter gives way to spring and summer, and the sun always comes out after it rains. The key word is eventually. Sometimes it takes longer than others, but things never go fully out of control.

    I am a firm believer that every loss is also an opportunity for something better. I've lost a few jobs in my life, some that I liked and others I didn't. But each of them has led to something better, and right now I couldn't be happier doing what I'm doing. But it wouldn't have happened if I settled into a less perfect job for life, and sometimes I had to be forced out to see that there were better things out there.

    Even the loss of your grandparents can have a greater purpose in your life. You should honor their memories and keep them close to you always. But where their loss has left a hole in your life, you can do yourself and them proud by filling it in with something or someone special, whether that's new friends or even a love interest. You had no control over their deaths, so all you can do is find a way to build upon them to make any sense of it.

    And as for the love life, welcome to my love life - the big old goose egg. This is one subject where any advice I try to offer would be truly hypocritical, so I'll just clam up on this one and wish you good luck. Oh, and if the special someone you eventually find has a brother, send him my way! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  12. Aoifeee

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    Believe me, I know the feeling :frowning2: (*hug*) What I'm about to say you've probably heard a million and one times before but that's because it's true and it works. You've got to try your very best to keep your chin up. Do whatever it takes you cheer yourself up. Treat yourself, you deserve it! Get out of bed the moment you wake up to avoid the horrible early morning lazing in bed thoughts. I'd recommend regular exercise and keeping a healthy diet to improve overall mood and wellbeing. Most importantly I'd suggest seeing a counsellor to talk about the issues you've been dealing with recently, it really does help :slight_smile: