First off; arghhhhhh. I'm annoyed, but at the same time, am starting to just not care. So this past week has been my reading week, and I've had the pleasure of spending it at home with my parents. Seeing as its been roughly 7 or 8 months since we've said two words about my sexuality (I did say a loaded 'the' to Dad a few months back, but he didn't get it :dry, I hoped to bring it up sometime this week. I was just hoping to see how they've been doing with it all. Well, last Sunday, the sermon was conveniently about reading into the bible, and how one should do their best to properly interpret and apply. I thought, hey, there's no better footing than this to start our conversation. So that afternoon I was in the living room, Mom on the couch reading. She asked me if something was wrong (seriously, how do Moms just know?), I told her that I found the sermon very intriguing. She asked why, and I told her because I've been doing a lot of thinking about me and God recently, and my gayness. Her response; "well, you can always try to get help". That caught me off guard, I didn't imply I was feeling bad about it all. Actually, it was quite the opposite, I was going to tell her I've been starting to find a lot of peace over it all. I told her I hope she didn't mean one of those ex-gay clinics, thankfully she said no. But, before the conversation could go any further, she said she should probably go put a load of laundry in and left. Just like that. No word on this subject for 7 months, and boom, all she can let out is a couple of sentences. Then her and Dad decided to go for their daily walk. That was almost a week ago. I was sure her or Dad would have brought it up with me again. But no, they're doing nothing. Dad seemed noticeably uncomfortable around me the rest of the day and into Monday. That very well could just be me reading into it too much, well, most likely is. But anyway, I'm rather disappointed with them at the moment. Surely (Shirley!) they realize this is important to me. I know I could bring it up again, but its not the same. Its like when the apple of your eye texts you first, it just gives you that fleeting feeling of being wanted. If they initiated the conversation, I would know that they want to talk about it then. Anyway, I should go. I just wanted to ramble that off to someone. And seeing as how all my friends tell me to just ditch them, this is about the last place to bitch a little. Or a lot.
(*hug*) I remember being at this stage. Don't take it personally. If you've told them, and given them support sites or books etc, then you've done your job. You may have answered questions they've fired at you as well. Now take the time to let it sink in. I'm guessing your parents have basically been the type to "think of you and your perfect life" up until now and think they have to mourn the side of you they thought they knew. It's strange to think about but it's true. Some parents have to do this. Mine did. Also, slowly work in things like your dating life into conversation the next few months if they ask you what you've been up to. They may say "Oh I don't want to hear that" which will hurt. But let them know that it's a part of you and you're sure of it as sure as you are that the sun is yellow and that you're their son and you love them. Time. All I can say is time. It takes a lot of time and patience (on both sides)..
For some people this stage takes a long time, for others it takes a little while. Keep up the hope, be secure and confident in yourself, and good luck!
First off; (*hug*). I'm sorry that your parents don't seem to be very accepting. For some people it just takes a while for reality to set in. It seems to me that they are still in denial about the whole situation, and they think that if they ignore it it'll just go away. The fact that your mom said "you can always try to get help" suggests to me that she is viewing homosexuality as a problem that needs fixing. If it were me I probably would have said "you can always try to get help, too" since they are obviously struggling in dealing with it. Because clearly, you understand that the problem isn't homosexuality, it's their attitude surrounding it which was ingrained by society and their religion. Sometimes, it seems that God works too slowly, and you need to give him a helping hand. For three whole years after coming out to my mother, she never mentioned anything regarding my sexuality. It was only after I brought it up, multiple times, that we managed to have any meaningful conversations about it. And she isn't even very religious, or unaccepting. I can only imagine how long religious parents would be able to brush it under the rug. I don't know if they will ever want to talk about it. So you're left with the decision to bring up the issue yourself (subtly or directly), or wait and hope they eventually come around. Either choice is valid - it just depends how much one or the other would affect your wellbeing in the long run.
