first boyfriend

Haha. Cute. But don't be insecure. You obviously have something hot about you. Personality or appearance. For me I think it's a combination.

As for your parents. Don't bring it up if you don't have to. If they ask you can just say "Well no girlfriend, but there is this guy I'm seeing. He's pretty great."

Oh, I tried the closet relationship and it failed miserably. I think it could work, just our personalities didn't mesh. It was the first time a guy said he liked me and I guess I got excited and jumped the gun. No big. I learned. : )

 

Dating in the closet pretty much sucks. You can't tell anyone why you feel the way you do, have almost no support when it ends, and it frequently feels like the relationship doesn't exist when you're around people who don't know. But it really depends on how closeted you are (and how closeted he is). If you have a group of friends that know, you should be fine. If it's just a tiny number of people, it'll be tough. At least, that was my experience. I would refuse to date anyone who wasn't mostly out.

 

I'm super excited to follow this thread because I'm in almost the exact same situation so thanks for posting!

I think the biggest thing is not being able to have support and someone to share your feelings and elation with. So if you have some friends that are fine with it and you feel comfortable sharing with them, you'll be fine.

As for telling your parents, personally I would let the relationship develop a little first. See if it goes anywhere (not just momentary passion) before telling them about it. If you can. But if it's really hard skirting their quesitons of where you're going or if you feel like this is a perfect excuse/opportunity to tell them, then go ahead!

 

(*hug*)Ohhh, please don't think this way, I can tell you from experience that it's no fun at all!(*hug*)

There that's better:icon_wink

 

QFT.

i just had to respond cause i'm a hopeless romantic and this whole situation is so cute.

if it's not a big deal, and it helps you start a good relationship, it almost sounds like the world just wants you to come out. and remember, it's a very fine line between scared and excited. don't let fear conquer you.

 

I can completely relate to your situation, I've been in quite a solid relationship for almost 8 months now, and I'm still in the closet to my family. And the thing that really bugs me about our relationship is that I can't tell people about it. My best friends know but I rarely see them and as they're straight guys I don't want to go on and on at them like a schoolgirl about how amazing my boyfriend is, even though I'm desperate to go on and on about him to someone.

As I live very very far away from him at the moment, I'm changing jobs next year, and my colleagues and parents just don't understand my need to move (I've just told them I'm homesick), I really wish I could tell them. I came incredibly close at Christmas, coming out to my brother (another person who I can't really talk to about these things), so I'm hoping I'll come out during the summer when I'm back. My boyfriend is also 100% out so I don't think he gets this problem.

As others have said, this guy obviously sees something in you so you just have to trust that, just count yourself lucky that such a great guy wants to be with you, look at it as a self esteem booster. As for coming out, there's no need to if you're not ready, but when it starts eating you up inside that you can't tell your family I think that could be a good motivator to finally tell them.

 

Just... Enjoy... It!! Stop hyperanalyzing it and enjoy it for what it's worth. Love is one of the great pleasures in life, and being loved by someone else for who you are is beyond magical. And if he's a sex god, well now... So don't ruin it by questioning every little piece of it!

Seriously, if you're not going to accept the amazing love that this guy is offering, let me have at him!!

 

it kinda sounds like the situation i was in a few months ago, i met the most amazing guy who was pretty much 100% out, and we were heading towards being in a relationship but i was only out to a few friends, basically we started dating and that gave me the push to tell my parents and sister. I'm pretty good at keeping secrets but not at flat out lying especially to my mum lol, and i was having to lie about where i was, who i was and it was annoying to lie all the time, and mum knew i was up to something, eventually i came out to my sister then my parents. I've now bin with my boyf for over 3 months, my family has met him, but i'm still only out to a few close friends at school.
And i totally get the whole not thinking your good enough to be dating him insecurity thing, and he feels the same way, i think its just really overwhelming going from being single and closeted to out and in a really healthy positive relationship. I hope things work out well for you, i think its better to be out to your family, especially if you think they will be ok with it, at the end of the day they have to find out some time and i think a good time to tell them is when your in a good place and have the support of the guy that loves you

 

Frankly, I still struggle with the idea that other guys find me attractive or are interested in me. I tend to assume the worst when guys approach me or want to get together with me. I'm getting better, but honestly there's still that pervasive feeling that "they're just with me because they can't be with who they want."

 

the only advice I can give is enjoy the ride. These emotions feel odd becuase they are new.

And, I think I'm moving to where you live if begin gay ain't that big a deal.

 

start where you feel comfortable and work your way out, nothing wrong with making things easy on yourself.
I still haven't told my parents yet either, so don't feel too bad about it, you're not alone.

 

just came to say i'm JEALOUS! lol
i've read the advice your getting and i completely agree with them.
and i understand how you feel confused that someone might find you attractive. remember that attraction isn't only in appearance but also in personality. maybe he really likes the way your are (are you funny? are you clumsy [in a good way]?).
if your really questioning why he likes you maybe you should just ask him... maybe you'll be pleased with what you hear
good luck!

 

That sounds cute but really hes intrested in you, and that MUST mean your doing something right. so don't worry he likes you for being you.

And having a relationship while not completely out, well i do hav some expeirence with this XD jus when your around people that dont know your gay just act like hes your best friend, and when your around people that do know, act like hes ur boyfriend. well thats what i did with my boyfriend

 

This sounds like a really big step for you. Congratulations.