As much as I say iIm not ashamed of being gay, when asked about relationships I always cower and mention women in place of men. I do it to avoid akward situations sometimes, and sometimes it just comes out without me thinking. I'm so used to it because of my highschool years that its spilled over to my college years. I want to get to a point where I can just say "yes I'm gay And that red head is mighty fine" and take that akward moment in time and turn it into just a moment in time. My personality is missing that sexual/flirty/promiscuous side so at times I seem akward because I shut down when relationships are brought up or when someone good looking is brought up in general. Example: Like if for some reason someon mentioned the lead singer of MUSE was ugly or hot, I would just switch the subject or let someone else answer. I mean today was the first time I actually told someone face to face that someone I saw was cute AFTER 2 YEARS OF BEING OUT! Sure I did it with nachos in my mouth and she didnt understand but I was afriad of saying it, thats why there were nachos in my mouth. I don't know if this is really even a problem. Advice?
I understand that feeling. I am in the closet right now, and I often have to act the part of being straight in situations where guys are talking about or checking out girls. It's pretty annoying and suffocating. According to your status on the left side of the post, you are out to feel comfy. Congrats and I would suggest being yourself around those people. If you are comfortable enough to tell them something like your sexuality, and I'm assuming they were accepting of that, then they will be just as accepting of your staring or comments about the cute guy across the bar.
Not talking about who you find hot won't make the Vast Gay Conspiracy revoke your "Out" card. Plenty of people, gay and straight, don't like talking about who they do and don't find hot. Maybe it's just my subculture, but my straight male friends almost never talk about checking out women. To be honest, I don't feel entirely comfortable talking about who I think is hot even when I'm with an all-gay group (partly because I feel so inexperienced and they start talking about sexual stuff I sometimes wonder if I'll ever get to do [/self-pity]). However, if you have one or two close friends you can talk about that stuff with, it feels nice. One thing I've found makes me more comfortable is being around women who're open about checking people out. Maybe it's just cause most of my friends are female, but checking out guys with people who share your interest but aren't potential mates or competitors is less nerve-wracking.
