i need help NOW

You're not out at all? Yet you're going to a gay bar? I'm confused...

What's stopping you from coming out, and THEN making out with a hot guy?!? :icon_wink

 

I suppose that if your friends have decided to go out to a gay bar it's because they are gay friendly. Maybe it could be a good oportunity, if not to come out to them, at least to start a conversation with them on that matter.
And if you're afraid about what you could be able to do if you get drunk, the easiest way to avoid it is to avoid drinking.

 

I hear you asking two questions. First of all whether or not you should go because you're not out yet. That is your call and only you can make it. I suppose it would be possible to go "in the closet" but that might take some of the fun out of it. Or on the other hand that might be a good way to see if this is your scene. Or, maybe this is your reason to come out to the people you're going with (I presume at least some of them are gay?). But I'm not sure anyone can make this call for you. You pretty much know the choice that's in front of you.

As for worrying that you'll make out with a hot guy while you're drunk, that one is totally in your control. So I'd strongly suggest that since this is your first time to a gay club, you make the decision up front not to drink at all, or just have one or two. That way you'll get a feel for the place and see whether or not it's your style with a clear mind. Plus if you do get hit on, you'll be playing with a full deck of cards!

Good luck with your decision, and if you decide to go, have fun!

 

I've met very few straight guys who would want to go to a gay bar...if you say you want to go that could be a hint to them.
But if you want to be out to them but have trouble finding a way then maybe going will help!
If i were you I would just not drink anything. Then you don't have to worry about doing anything while drunk.

 

Have you think about the fact it could be a move from your friends to help you coming out to them.
Sometimes friends know far before their gay friends tell them, and just don't know what to do to to help their friends to come out to them (God knows if I had a clue on what to do to help one of my gay friend to come out toe me, I would do it immediatly).
I'm not saying it's the case, but maybe it is.

 

First off, CTFD.

Next up, give this some more thought, with the panic switch off. Who might see you there? Other gay guys, obviously. Most of them will probably be out, and they won't give a rat's ass that you're there. The rest will be closeted. And if they see you there, so what? They're closeted too! They can't say "I saw conf at a gay bar!" without admitting that...they were at a gay bar! In short, without outing themselves.

This leaves your uncle. With whom you get along really well. And who always goes to a gay bar. I'm assuming this means he's gay. And if he's inviting you along, I'd say it's because he has more than a slight inkling it's because he thinks you'll enjoy it. To wit, he probably suspects.

As for what to expect, relax. You won't enjoy anything if you're this freaked out about it. Most gay bars are pretty low-key - they're like straight bars, with fewer women and (in my personal opinion) shittier music. Yes, some guys start making out there. Most don't. If you don't want to, don't. As suggested above, don't drink much. Keep ordering waters and sodas. Don't think you can "nurse" your drink for long periods - you're excessively nervous, and drinking gives you something to do.

Chances are pretty good that absolutely nothing will happen. Not just "making out with a guy", but "having much of a conversation with a guy". Not because you're not attractive or anything, but because you'll be sending out those "deer-in-a-headlight" vibes, and in general, guys don't saunter over to talk to the extremely skittish ones. And it doesn't sound like you'll be doing much conversation-starting, either. I guess it'll depend on how much your uncle acts as a go-between between you and the rest of the patrons. Just resolve to go observe, and see how you like it.

Lex

 

Eleanor's solution is a pretty easy one. The easier solution is, "Sorry guys, I'm feeling sick so I can't go with."

As for your friend's uncle, unless he's a douche, even if he sees you there, he's not going to talk to anyone about it (except you, possibly). And straight guys do go to gay bars with their friends. Although it's quite possible he already has you figured you anyway.

You probably have a lot more self-control than you're afraid you do.

 

well the first gay bar I ever went to I did not drink booze at all too but still I had a good time and I was not out at all.

 

go, but don't drink.

 

Yeah, don't drink or drink VERY little. Or, since they seem gay friendly, get drunk and make out with a guy. Have fun. I don't think they will really care.

 

Well, recently i went to a gay bar for the first time with my best friend ( he iz straight, but i havent figure out yet what i am). he wanted to go to a gay bar because he said it is pretty easy to hook up with girls there ( indeed it was for him). i was scared of going because i also thought that i might ended up kissing a guy infront of my friend ( he doesnt know im confused, he thinks im straight). That didnt happened, although i got a lot to drink and i was quite drunk. I think that even if you drink you will have some self control and wont kiss a guy, so dont worry about that. I had lots of fun at the bar, some guys bought me drinks but that was it. They didnt try to kiss me, so i guess you dont have to worry about that. I recommend you to go and relax, as someone mentioned above going to a gay bar shows you a little bit about the gay life and might help you in the coming out process.