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Mom wants me with my ex-bf which makes me even more scared to come out to her. Help!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by flymetothemoon, Mar 21, 2010.

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  1. flymetothemoon

    flymetothemoon
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    I was planning on coming out to my mom and dad, and really they're the only people left. I'm out to pretty much everyone else. Anyway, I wrote a letter to my mom that I was going to send to her, but yesterday I was talking to my ex boyfriend (we're on good terms, so I know he's not making this stuff up to make things harder for me. he's been really good about things actually...) and he informed me that my mother has been talking with him (which I know she has), and that as of late the conversations have frequently included statements about hoping that I get back together with him and that I don't have someone else in my life and that he is right for me. This makes me even more nervous to come out to my mom because I was already nervous about her acceptance but knowing that she doesn't want me to be with anyone else just makes me even more scared about things. How do I deal with the nerves? I really want to tell her...I don't like hiding it or lying about things...but I'm just terrified...HELP!
     
    #1 flymetothemoon, Mar 21, 2010
  2. Spectre

    Spectre
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    Re: Mom wants me with my ex-bf which makes me even more scared to come out to her. H

    It's okay, take a breath. (*hug*)

    Being terrified is normal. And as much as your mother may want you to be with someone, it is ultimately your decision. I get the impression that you want to tell her you're bisexual (is that what sexually flexible is supposed to mean?). In which case I don't think it would be as bad as you think; if you still have feelings for your ex-bf "in that way" - it gives her hope that you could still get back together with him. If you don't have feelings, it doesn't matter anyways, because regardless of your sexuality you won't be getting back together with him.

    I think you should still send the letter (I think I actually read it awhile ago??). Yes, it's scary, but coming out to family commonly is. The fact that your mom wants you to get back together with your ex-bf - and the fact that your ex-bf was the one that told you this - is not a worthwhile excuse to hide behind. Your life is your own, not your mother's or ex-bf's.
     
    #2 Spectre, Mar 21, 2010
  3. seadog

    seadog
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    Re: Mom wants me with my ex-bf which makes me even more scared to come out to her. H

    i think its a great opening to say, look mom, I know how you feel, but you know what, right now i think i like girlz better!
     
    #3 seadog, Mar 21, 2010
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