So I met this really sweet girl in my American History class and we got along quite well. Weeks later, I was surprised when she told me on aim that she has feelings for me that surpass friendship. I was taken aback because 1. nobody ever told me that they like me that way, 2. we didn't know that much about each other (but I guess that can be worked on), and 3. I never got any gay vibes from her, so it seemed very out of the blue I tried hanging out with her many times, but it seems that the distance between our houses and our different schedules seem to be quite a big obstacle. We hung out one day at my house (finally) and she seemed very uncomfortable with me and I kept getting the feeling that she just wanted to leave. I tried to keep her occupied, but then I became as uncomfortable as she was. I don't even know if I like her as much as she likes me. Whenever I notice her in the hallway, wave and say "hi" it seems like she notices me too, but sometimes she doesn't acknowledge me and sometimes she gives me a very unenthusiastic wave. However, when I sign on aim, she acts totally different and seems much nicer and more open than in person. She wants to be more than friends, but I barely even see her and when I do, I feel like I'm being ignored. I don't know what to do or tell her. I don't want to disappoint her, but I also don't want to struggle with a futile relationship. :help:
I think the best thing to do is let her know how you feel and if you both still want to be more than friends go for it.
Hello, I am a representative of the club for people who are awkward and ignore the person they're interested in. *waves* I think your friend is behaving this way because she feels vulnerable after sharing her feelings with you, and she doesn't know what you think, so she's trying to rebuff you a bit to protect herself. The other possibility that occurs to me is that maybe she's not fully comfortable with her sexuality yet. You mentioned that you didn't get any vibes from her, so maybe she's just figured out recently that she isn't straight (or she still thinks of herself as straight despite having feelings for you) and she doesn't know how to deal with her feelings. I'd say it would be a very, very good idea for you to first figure out if you're interested in pursuing a relationship, and then talk to her about it one way or the other.
Could it be that she is in the closet? That maybe why she is more distant in public than she is online.
Simply stated, but well put. I think the main problem is that I don't really have feelings for her any more than friendship. It might be her personality, since I'm more drawn to jittery, extravagant people, and if she has those qualities, she has a funny way of showing them ._. Nice analysis there, I think you've hit the nail on the head. Except for the sexuality bit, I think I understand why she acted that way. She told me that she's out to her family and she's also part of the LGBT club at our school, so I'm guessing she's pretty far out of the closet. Anyways, I talked to her on aim yesterday to confront her about our uncomfortableness. She suggested that we hang out some time, but I reminded her about the large distance between our houses and my parents who are strict about me going out (even with a friend or friends.) I'm not very social outside of school and although I'm trying to change that, I don't know if I'm willing to change it for her. Like I said before, even when we just met, she seemed to be very introverted and I don't think I can change that. I don't want to start a relationship that I can't maintain or just because nobody's ever disclosed their feelings for me and I want to take advantage of that. :/
