Breakup?

i think u should keep with him, u never knw he might grow 2 start loving u over time?

bt as u said he wants space i think its him letting u knw.. well that he doesnt wanna b the 1 2 break up with u blah blah blah? (im just guessing)

bt just do what will make u happy, if u want more than what u gt i think u should let him go, (he might then reliaze how much he does want u)

lol this probly doesnt make sense bt eh

 

Ed i remember when you had your first date with this guy you were so happy im really sorry it has slowed down to a crawl. people develop their readiness to things in life at different paces, like im comfortable with i am bit i cant tell people really whereas someone who just figured who they are could come out as its nothing to them .

it sounds like you two talk alot but you dont really get him to open up, you talk about what you want and where you want this to go but you dont say how you feel or how he feels. i think you two need to sit down together asap and say to him how you feel that your worried and saddened that he doesn't seem ready to commit and his heart just doesn't seem to be in it, ask him how he feels about the relationship and why hes finding it difficult sometimes you just have to be a bit stronger for them than they can be for you.i dont know how many relationships hes had with guys but i can imagine how tough it can be.

he seems to still want you Ed he well sounds like me with the cant give you what you need hes feeling inadequate and not good enough and he thinks you deserve better. its text book relationship depression loving the other person but having a low opinion of yourself and your ability.

so talk , comfort, time thats all you can do with relationships because theres moments in all that are like this, thats not to say you drop wanting t o push things along but you will just need to support him as you try to it will be hard but the love of someone is worth it

what ever you decide to do Ed i hope it works for ya (*hug*)

 

you arent the bad guy Ed nobody is, its just relationships theyre difficult, i think probing more wont hurt though you got nothing to lose he says he cant give you what you need u say why he says cos of how he feels ask him why does he feel this way. communication is half the battle to a relationship, but i f you two do decide to call it a day try and remain friends Ed, but please get over feeling like the bad guy youve opened you heart to another person youve tried as much as anyone can. sometimes relationships dont work out but it will not be fora lack of you trying.

 

Gosh, Ed, this seems pretty manipulative on his part. To say one thing in the note and another thing when you tell him you want to end the dating aspect of your relationship is controlling. It is completely legitimate for you to want some sign from him that the two of you are moving in the same direction. He seems to want it both ways - to have a static, low-commitment relationship but to also have you committed to him. This relationship may well be worth sticking with but he owes you much clearer communication.

peace, Mike

 

then it seems you've reached the conclusion to your dilemma. its over.

i am really sorry but if your hearts tired of being the one who makes the sacrifices all the time and i dont blame you, i know how hard youve tried. i really am sorry for you if you ned any one to talk to i aint the best but im here for you Ed
(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)


(*hug*)

 

Exactly what I was thinking. He wants his cake but wants to eat it too. 10 months is a long time - and while he was fresh out of a long term relationship, if he hasn't sorted stuff out after 10 months, he isn't going to.

I know it's hard to start over, but you deserve better. And a better match for you is out there - I'm sure of it. Good luck. (*hug*)

 

It sounds like he's defined the relationship to be precisely what he wants it to be. Which isn't sufficient for you. He's strung you along for awhile under the guise of "maybe I'll change", but I don't even know if he CARES to change. He's got the relationship he wants - why would he change? Frankly, it isn't fair for you to devote your life to him waiting for him to come around, especially when he seems to be indicating that he has no plans to do so. In which case, I do think it might be time to move on.

Lex

 

Ed i think you need more (*hug*)

 

aw ed i really am so sorry for you, but i know things will get better your a great guy and you really do deserve someone who can give you the same amount of emotional commitment as you obviously have to give.
(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

Try not to think too badly of him. It's human nature to want things exactly the way we want them, and I don't think he was actively attempting to make you unhappy - he just placed his own happiness too far in front of yours. If he tells you not to close the door to possibility, just tell him you don't feel you can wait any longer for something to potentially happen. You need somebody you CAN be with completely - not possibly sometime in the future, but now.

Lex

 

dont be angry Ed you love the guy hearts rule minds its life we cant see the worst in those we care about or if we do we fool ourselves into ignoring it.

but its a great quality ok its a stupid quality it gets ya hurt and gets ya in a mess but it shows how loving and caring you are and thats important

i say you meet up when you not got work and you tell him flat out youve bent over backwards for him and cant do it any more.
(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

no its not bad Ed its just alot harder to see people when you break up with them. just remember Ed there is nothing he can say to hurt you no blame or put down you are a grown man looking for a partner and he wont step up. the guy has done long commitment before it shouldn't be that hard and if this isnt what he wants he just needs to be a man and tell you.

 

Too many of us hold on to second best because we're too afraid to cast it aside and shoot for the very best. You deserve nothing but the very best, and that's not what he's giving you, and he's certainly not promising it down the road either. You've done all you can to accommodate him and give him the time to think it through and get himself together. Now it's time for you to look after #1.

So don't do it with any animosity towards him or guilt for doing something wrong. You've been very fair to him and he isn't being fair in return right now. That gives you the moral high ground to move forward and tuck this away as another of life's learning experiences on the path to something better.