Ever since my older brother broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years, he's been coming home with completely random people every once and a while. Every body else finds this funny, like he's getting these random short term girlfriends because he thinks he needs them. Every once and a while somebody suggests that he's doing it just to cover up being gay. Now here's an interesting twist, couldn't it seem just as pitiful to avoid a boyfriend just because people might think you're gay? (dont take this too literaly, just thoughts) Sure everyone has reasons for not coming out, but it stinks that people have to act differently just to prove that they aren't what they really are.(did that make sence? Now, maybe i just really want a boyfriend, but it seems more and more that it isnt worth waiting to come out to ask someone out.
First, to have a boyfriend you only truly need to be out to one person: that guy. Lots of very closeted people are in relationships and often one person is way more in the closet than the other. That said, it's hard to meet possible love interests if you're not out to at least some people. I wouldn't read too much into your brother coming home with random women either. Either, he's looking for somebody new, which ususally involves testing things out with new people or is just having fun with his new found freedom.
We just joke about him, it really has been a very long time sence he didnt have a regular girlfriend, so it's expected that he goes out like this. I just brought it up for the ideas it brings to surface. Ok, now if i can just find a boyfriend.
I just wanted to say not to worry too much about finding a boyfriend. Sure, you need to get out there and meet people in order to ultimately pursue something with a guy. If you don't try at all to meet people, it's unlikely somebody might drop from the sky (although I'm sure it's happened). However, if you try too hard to find somebody, it often doesn't work out well. You may end up seeming desperate, which will turn a lot of guys off and attract others looking to take advantage of that situation (which may leave you ultimately heartbroken). Moreover, it will just make you more upset worrying too much about finding the right guy. The healthy thing to do is go out with the intention of just making more friends and meeting new and interesting people while simultaneously being open to a relationship coming along. That means taking up new hobbies, going places you might not normally go, joining some sort of volunteer or social organization whose purpose you're interested in, etc. From a more practical standpoint, I tell myself it's worth it to make friends with other gay men (and even lesbians or straight people) even if I have no interest in pursuing anything with them. First, you can never have too many true friends. Second, gay men in particular tend to know other gay men. You never know if the friend (or even acquaintance) you meet now will introduce you to a great guy later on.
