Hey all, Ok so this is not really a big a deal as what other people are posting about but i thought i would ask what everyone thinks Ok, so at the end of april i am submitting my final thesis! Many of my friends have submitted already and i will be the last one out of my close friends and so we decided last month that we will have a big 'handing in party' to celebrate that we have all submitted! Now, i attend a gay social group and they just emailed me yesterday to say that they are holding this big get together for their organsisations birthday on the same day!! Now i have been going to this group for 6 months and i am starting to make close friends there and i really want to go to this as well because these new 'gay' friends have become really important people in my life! So i phoned my best friend to ask her if we could move our party to another day, maybe a week before and she said that its not going to be possible as people are coming in from far away and it was difficult to get that date! Plus i think she was really annoyed that i was even asking as we had arrnaged this so long ago! I know that in all honesty my old friends have been there for years and they have been the ones that have gone through everything with me while i was coming out etc but then a part of me also wants to embrace my new friends too! Plus i cant now invite my new gay friends as they are all going to go to this other party! What do people think??
I think since you agreed to go to the other party first and it is celebrating that you are handing in your thesis that you should probably go to the party with the old friends. There will be more parties with your gay group.
i wouldnt ditch your older friends if you already arranged this. it might not go down terribly well. just tell the newer friends that unfortuantly you already had plans. they will understand. i really hate people bailin on me. i try my best never to back out of stuff.
are the 2 party far away try not to drink that evening and go to one untill 22 hrs then tell the others party that you will be there from 23 hrs .i don't see any problem because a party don't finish until 03 am . Have a nice party .
I woud personally chose old freinds over new ones anyday! Because the new ones dont know you that much.. so they wouldnt miss you even if you wouldnt go ! Then again,,,what do I know?! I am not talking to any of my friends coz I think they are homophobic and would be humiliated when i ll come out! so yes .,please take my advice!
Is there a way that you could go to the first party for a while and then go to the second party close to the end of it? That's what I would try to do. : )
Hi there! As it was mentioned above, given that you have already helped to arrange the first party to celebrate the handing in of the thesis and it is a time to catch up with old friends, I would suggest not to move it but rather to go ahead with things the way you have originally planned them. I think it would be perfectly alright to say to your new friends 'sorry I won't be able to make it for the organization's party but it would be great if you could catch up the day after.' Explain that you have planned a 'handing in party' and that your old friends are coming in just for that.
That's extremely poor form given the situation--it's sad so many people don't understand that. You're essentially saying neither group/event is worthy of your full attention. Given that one event was planned well in advance of another, that's just rude. If they had both been planned around the same time or if they were of equal importance, maybe doing both would be okay. But party-hopping just shows a lack of commitment to and respect for both. It's a real shame the 2nd party happens to be at the same time as your thesis-defence celebration--but it was organized ages ago and it's meant to celebrate a very important milestone in your life. As someone else mentioned, there will always be more parties of the gay org. You are (hopefully) only going to be completing a thesis like this once in your life and unless the people you will be celebrating the completion with are just not people you feel are important to you (which does not sound like it's the case), then the decision is really clear: you made a commitment and you honour it. I don't doubt your friend was upset when you asked her about moving it--it's extremely hard to arrange events for certain groups of people and if some of your friends have already defended, I can see how it would be a huge hassle. Look, I understand shiny new friends who also happen to be gay are very exciting when you're first coming out--but you have to find some way to balance that with your existing relationships, and ditching a group of existing friends who you've been through the wringer through so you can party with the new gay peeps is not a good way of doing it. If the new gay friends can't understand that you need to mark an important milestone in your life and honour a commitment you made, well--that tells you quite a bit about the new gay friends.
