I just recently broke up with a person that I considered at one time among or best friend. I am the one that had to break up with him as he became too manipulative. We were great friends for 5 years. Now I feel depressed. I dont really have much friends but I remember him being for me alot. I feel depressed an:bang::tears:d a little more lonely. I am sure my former best friend would feel really bad and depressed as well. It is something I needed to do but it hurts alot. Usually I am not the one that does the breaking up with a friendship if it does happen, but this person it was so hard to break up with him as we were really close. It is something I really wanted to get off my chest.
If your reasons were honest and stand up to your own sober second thought, then this was the right thing to do. Not all decisions in life are easy ones. In fact I admire you for making a relatively tough choice, because too many people would just drag it out indefinitely. This isn't much different from the ending of a love relationship, so the advice is pretty much the same. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of this friend and to get over him, then put yourself out there, back on the "friend market", and get to know other people. Don't go looking for a quick friend or go out there with any expectations; just get back among people who could potentially be friends, e.g. those around your age or with similar interests. Friendships can't be forced or created on command - they just happen with time. But they do happen! And I can assure you there's more than a few people here on EC (*ahem*) who would be glad to be your friend too!
There's a one advantage of friendships over relationships, in that one never has to really define them at any given point. You can be extremely close at one point, and then perhaps drift away for awhile, only perhaps to grow closer again at some later time. You shouldn't feel the need to "break up" with a friend. If you find he's being manipulative, or if the friendships seems more negative than positive for some other reason, you can feel free to simply increase the distance between you. And you can always feel free to give the friendship another go sometime later if you feel he's realized the error of his ways. Lex
Just because relationships end it doesn't mean the end of your friendship, if you both want to stay friends then it can happen, it might not be easy, it might mean having to get over a lot of painful feelings and being able to forgive though, i think give it time and don't totally give up on each other as friends
the situation was it became sexual not so long ago. I did not want it to become sexual in that stage but I just decided to go with the flow. I admit I did have an sexual attraction to him early in the friendship but the more I got to know him the more I did not. He was in love with me and I was not right through the friendshp. It got to the point where I was not at all comfortable at all with him being around. I told him I could never see him agian. He took it really bad. Well I guess it can be kind of like an relationship, and he did regard it as kind of like one. Besides we were flatmates for over 4 years. So those advising me that the break up is only for relationships you are wrong, but this type of friendship just got too out of hand for me. I just cant trust him anymore.
Besides I am angry enough of the shit he caused me. I dont know how long this anger will go away. thanks James for what you stated.
Then this isn't a friendship. You basically DID end a relationship. In which case, consider it dead and buried. Drop the anger and resentment, and move ahead. Lex
yes I will do that, he did considered it a relationship and I guess it was but have trouble admiting to it. So yes its time for me to move on and focus on the more positive things in life.
