I'm just asking because I'm again giving myself hell for something that may or may not be normal, is it normal to hate being in the presence of one of your parents? it's my dad and I just hate being near him, It's just little things that only I notice, like when he breathes through his nose it sounds to me like a jet engine, and it's even worse when he's eating, I hate mealtimes because I am always sitting beside him and the noises he makes when he eats make me want to scream and run out of the room. I hate being in the car with him even more because he gets a chance to practice being a psychiatrist on me with his home made blend of confusing metaphors, advice that comes from the heart which, whilst trying to help, really doesn't and my personal favourite, his use of confusing cryptic... things that I have no idea what they're meant to mean, like the other day we were in the car driving and he just says to me, "the plane that dropped the atomic bomb was called Hanola Gay" I mean what has that to do with anything? is it another little bit of useless facts to add to my ever growing collection? is he saying that because I am gay I am going to go round nuking the Japanese? sorry for the rant but I just needed to get that off my chest but is this normal? or am I as crazy as we think we are?
Well if your crazy, i like you for it haha. i actually think tho that your pretty normal. i have a friend that does the heavy breathing when we are at the cinema, in a bar, eatery. the lot. i kinda hate it. what i do tho is put someone in the middle of us haha. Sounds to me like your dad is kinda strange. I think similarily tho my stepmother is the same. At times i cant bear to be around her just for some of the odd comments she makes and stuff. what you could do is buy him some of those strip things you put on your nose to help you breathe better. and sit away form him at dinner haha,
It's a normal thing to do the breathing thing. My dad is the same way. I have to give him a breathe right strip almost every day to help him breathe right. And if that doesn't help I just get away from him.
Noisy breathing/eating really annoys me, especially when it's quiet and it's the only thing you can hear. And the whole psychological/cryptic games stuff is enough to do anyones head in. So yea, i'd say you're probably normal.
I'd say it's symptomatic of a general frustration with him on your part, and given how he's handled things with you over the past while, it comes as no surprise to me. It sounds like he's improvising some of your parenting, particularly when it comes to dealing with your sexuality, and he's not doing a stellar job of it. Your frustration is showing itself as an intolerance of his quirks and a desire to be away from him. From what I know of you and your situation it's completely understandable and I'd say it's a totally appropriate response on your part. So don't hate yourself for feeling this way. The way I see it your dad has to earn your respect back, and he's not quite going about it the right way. If I were advising him on how to win you back, I'd recommend a heartfelt apology to you (not embedded in some cryptic message), a hug and a statement that he loves you no matter what, and a genuine effort to hear you out and understand what you're feeling. In other words the talk you two never had yet. But I wouldn't bet on him coming around any time soon, so you're more than justified for feeling the way you do. In fact I really admire your restraint and your ability to check yourself on it! This suggests you're well on your way to becoming a conscientious and well-adjusted adult. Good show Connor!
Just a small addition, to say your dad sounds like mine... and the mealtime yeah my dad also makes noise while eating xD I guess I just am used to it cause I don't notice it anymore. But I know how you feel, for everything...
Its normal... I love my dad, but I can't bear to be in the presence of him for more than 5 minutes. He's rude, arrogant and obnoxious, convinced of his own importance and thinks he's funny when he's just a jerk. Spending more than 5 minutes with him is unbearable.
You're not crazy Parents are hard to stand sometimes. I remember that when I was a teenager, I barely stand being with my mother, and that everything she was doing or saying irked me. Things settle down when you'll leave your parents home for college or a place of your own. You're going to see him less and will be able to enjoy spending time with him without paying too much attention to the things that are bothering you. Until there, takes deep breaths and keep in mind your father doesn't do that things against you, it's just who he is, and you may have some flaws and irking habits of your own too Don't be too harsh on him.
I think you dont hate being in the presence of your father, hate is a strong word, I think you are just anoyed by him and that's normal. Each time I spend time with my dad, he gives me the same speech on how our lifes would be better if my mother never asked for a divorce, that she is blah blah blah (it is a very annoying conversation). I really dont like that topic, so each time my father talks about it, I just start remembering all the good things he has done for me and my family. This keeps my mind distracted and I barely listen to what his saying. In that way i dont get annoyed by him. Maybe it would work for you as well next time your dad gives you an annoying speech.
thanks guys, at least I'm a little more normal than I thought I was, and Megamomey, that's actually a really good idea thanks, I'll try it sometime
Actually, it was Enola Gay. [youtube]WZ_X43zcXcU[/youtube] I'm not sure how old you are, but know that it's EXTREMELY common to get really aggreivated by what your parents do between the ages of, oh, 15-24. I remember my sister becoming downright snobbish toward my mother sometime during that period, which didn't seem to bother my mother in the slightest. I asked her about it, and she said "Oh, I did the same thing to my mother at her age. I accept it. I know she'll grow out of it." And she did. The suggestion above are all good. Start perfecting your "yes I'm listening" face and tuning-out skills. Amazing how handy those become throughout your life. Lex
