Straight Guys / Am I destined to be alone? / Reinvention

1) I've never cared much for other gay men in that way either but that's probably because I've never met a gay guy who wasn't some kind of walking stereotype. I don't know if that's the case for you or not but maybe you just aren't attracted to flamboyant guys and that's fine everyone has their own preference. Is that bad, only because it means it may be harder for you to find someone because you won't be able to spot them wearing a flag but it doesn't make you bad in any way.

2) I'm 18 and I've still never had a damn thing and I know plenty of straight people who can say the same thing I also know lots of now very happy adults who could have said the same thing at my age so don't worry it'll happen and you're still young so don't worry what your friends are doing.

3) I fell I should say that if you're a flamboyant person and you suppress it because you're in the closet and you don't want people to assume your sexuality then good for you for wanting to be more like yourself. If you just want to be more flamboyant because you're gay and you think it is how you should be then DO NOT be someone you are not. I have seen a lot of people who drastically try and change their personality to fit 'norms' and it always leads to extreme depression, just saying. In short just be who you are, if that's a flamboyant person then go for it, but don't be who you aren't.

 

eh, I live in New York, a city rumored to have one of the biggest gay populations. I have met five gay men around my age and I met all of them in the last year and a half so no not necessarily. Although it should also be noted that most gay men come out 20+ years old so you very well may have been attracted to that attractive gay man already and just didn't know.

 

Stop pitying yourself and realize you're only 16.

The part that makes me mad is you thinking you should have had a boyfriend or sex because your 16. As if that was old. Take control of your mind instead of letting your penis do it.

Now to the little bit less ":tantrum:"y advice.

1.) Join the club. Lots of people feel the same way. You'll find gay guys you are attracted to eventually.

2.)

Joking. But I addressed this above. Stop feeling like you need to have a boyfriend, sex, or kiss someone. If it's really that important to do, go fuck that slutty gay guy. Then you can say you've kissed and had sex and be proud you spread your seed!

3.) What's wrong with the stereotype guy? You want to be a stereotype as well so I'm sure you'd fit with him well. I can't see the appeal of acting flamboyant.


Don't take anything I say too seriously. Take the good advice written inbetween the lines.

 

1. I would imagine it's the same thing that causes straight guys to fall for married or "taken" women. We want what we can't have.

2. You're only 16--you will meet someone. I'm 7 years older than you, and in the exact same situation.

3. Act like yourself--not some cooked up version of who you think you are.

 

1) There are presumably at least three gay guys your year, unless you're either the slut or the stereotype. Although how one of three gay guys can be a slut (even though he apparently never did anything with you) is kind of beyond me. Do the slut and stereotype know that YOU're gay? Or don't you bother talking to them, since they're not worth your time?

2) Being gay means your dating pool is a lot shallower. This is especially true earlier in life. People don't realize they're gay, or they don't act on it right away. Few high schoolers have become financially independent while in school, either. It's EXTREMELY early sailing yet. Nothing wrong at all with being solo. I didn't date until after college, in fact, but I can't say as I'm sorry.

3) I sort of "re-invented" myself for college, as well. But it was less a reinvention than a simple allowing of the real me to emerge. In high school, I had been very quiet and nerdy, and was always worried that people were whispering behind my back. In college, I more or less decided I wanted to be ME. I wanted to like the stuff I liked, and either people could like it or lump it.

If "flamboyant stella" is the real stella - if you're being flamboyant because you've always wanted to, and it comes naturally, great - live it. But don't force it. Because if it isn't, you'll find yourself forced to maintain a facade that you've artificially constructed. A fake persona that you'll be scared to abandon for fear that your friends like the persona more than the person behind it. But if being flamboyant comes naturally, go camp it up.

Lex

 

That's going to be the case, and you just have to realize, often we'll have to deal with this. Just let it go and don't worry about it.

You said it right there, you're 16 hun. You have YEARS ahead of you. I've been single (with a couple short relationships since I came out when I was 16 and even then they were pretty short so I just can't consider them relationships. You'll get a boyfriend eventually hun, and just be patient. All these hooking up of your straight friends won't last long either. Trust me. Most high school relationships don't.

Don't, I repeat DON'T reinvent yourself. BE YOURSELF not someone else. OKAY?

 

+1 for don't hook up just for the sake of hooking up. A lot of people still haven't had a boy/girlfriend at 16. 90% of my school doesn't (granted that I study at a unisex school).

PS Tackle the GCSEs first, it's probably the most important thing at this moment. Mine's starting next monday (they call it the CEs here), so there's only a week left... Good luck!!!