My Mum just rang me in tears because my step father went off his top at her about gay people, and how they're gross and unnatural and are secretly taking over the government and all this crap. He thinks that I'm this awful person who is evil or something. He's a freak. I tried to speak to him, tried to send him PFLAG stuff, and it's just useless. He's a paranoid nutcase. And THEN I found this thread: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f32/homophobic-87599/ OMG it made me so angry!!! On top of that I had a training course today and some guys made some homophobic comments. I am so sick of it! How can you deal with this stuff? Is there any point in arguing?? How do you deal with it when it's in your own family? My Mum is having trouble because she is really proud of me, but she can't say anything about it to her stupid husband. He thinks I'm trying to break them up. He's a twit. Sorry just had to rant a bit.
I don't know what to say about it being in the family, but elsewhere just do what you're comfortable with. If you want to flip out at someone who makes a comment, go for it. Even just comfortably saying, "Excuse me, but I'm gay, and I'm highly offended by that", or in the case of something like the training course if you're daring enough you could just get up and leave, saying you refuse to work with someone who would say something like that about you. Otherwise, you've just gotta go with the flow and not let it bother you. For example, the website link, though I'm sure there's a ton of serious discussion on the forum, I found kinda funny. Seeing people get so worked up about something that to me and my friends is a non-issue is sometimes just amusing.
Hey have some (*hug*)s (*hug*) (*hug*). It can be tough and I should think all people gay or straight have experience some form of homophobic remark at some time in their life, often it is not directed at anyone specifically but frequently it comes from people who are uneducated, wrongly educated, or insecure in their own life (not neccessarily orientation related). I think depending on the situation, who is around you and your confidence and acceptance within yourself you can choose to ignore the comments or make a stand. Often I think just ignoring people and continuing as you would do can be as powerful as standing up to them. It is such a shame for you with your step-dad and I wish I had some magic words for you that would make it better. You can offer him as much PFLAG information as you like but you cant educate someone that doesnt want to be educated. I think all you can do is be strong within yourself whilst trying to be as sensitive as you can around him, so as not to shove it in his face and I know he doesnt really deserve your sensitivity but I think it will only make things worse for you and your mother if you dont. Im sure he probably wouldnt agree to it but what would happen if your Mum asked him to go to a support group or something, from what you have said it sounds like he might just think they were going to brain wash him but I dont know.
Bigotry, ignorance and low self-esteem in people can come up with these homophobic rubbish. That's why some people could wrote those stuff in public forums. They don't know what are they writing in the first place. In my place, most of the people in my college ain't better either. They have either a combination of sexist, chauvinist, or either homophobic behaviour.
A few things. First off, that thread didn't anger me. Mainly because even though the OP was rather ignorant, it was greatly outweighed by the responses who basically pointed out the error of his ways. And the fact that most of those responders were straight is cheering. My over-reaching thought is this. Some people don't "get" homosexuality. And of those, there are some who simply refuse to try to "get" it. They've got their (inaccurate) beliefs, and they're going to stick to them no matter how many facts or statistics or whatever you choose to throw at them. These people are simply unreachable. And given that, it's just not worth any effort. Accept the fact that they don't get it. Write them off. Deal with them civilly if and when you have to, but don't ever get into it with them. Your stepfather thinks gays are trying to destroy the world? Let him. Don't deal with him. Just deal with your mother. When you have to deal with him, be civil, but don't bring up "the whole gay thing". Because, to put it simply, this isn't your problem. The main problem is that your stepdad's a moron, and your mom married him. Let THEM work it out. Lex
that posted link to that thread angered me beyond belief...so much that i had to register on the forum and make a new thread to educate their ignorance since that original thread has been locked ..probably due to their ignorance... http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f32/for-neurotic1s-understanding-87809/#post1342831
Although it is pretty ignorant (both your dad's views and the posts on this forum), that's how some people are brought up. unfortunately those bigoted perspectives don't vanish over night so.. with education and patience they can be shown the reality of the matter. I agree with Lex and Zumbro though. Although if you ever want to "whip it out" on the "gay agenda", try sending the video Rodger posted earlier which really makes fun of the ridiculous beliefs of the "gay agenda": [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckGaShCWbcE[/YOUTUBE]
With homophobia I think its one of those things where you need to choose your battles wisely. If someone at work/home/school/etc is spewing out "that's so gay/he's such a fag/that looks dykey" I think it would be reasonable to approach this person and tell them to watch what they say. I don't think it would be worth it to have a similar conversation to any people within the older generations who still view homosexuality as the worst sin in the world, it's just not worth the effort, and they are so set in their ways they will never change anyway. Thats my two cents
Oh, and thanks for all the replies people. Yeah I am usually more reasonable and open-minded about dealing with people like this. I just had a super bad night last night, hence the ranting. I give up on my step father though.
Thats why i made a new thread in that forum..go take a look here oops previous link didnt work ..heres new one http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f32/for-neurotic1s-understanding-87809/
We're taking over the government? Well, why didn't anyone tell me, I'd of brought my how to topple the government for dummies book. That is how I deal with people's ignorance I point it out and show them how stupid it is, plus I get lots of laughs.
