Hey, it's been a little while since I was last here. I'm still not out yet and I turn 16 in 3 days. Right now I'm not sure if I want to come out, but I keep wanting to at times; I keep saying to myself 'Just wait until after the exams, you don't need more stress'. Also, another thing keeping me in the closet is my parents. They are the least homophobic people in the world, and have said before that they would be extremely accepting if I was ever gay, and I believe this, but the problem is that 1) I'm an only child - no grandchildren, 2) We have a very adult relationship, and we can all talk to each other and have a laugh, with no awkwardness. I don't want to hurt number 2. I mean, after never having a girlfriend and never talking about girls, you'd think that they might suspect something, but I highly doubt it. It's strange, but there's nothing to show that they suspect, and they always hint that they think I've got a girlfriend. How do I 'hint' back that I don't want one?!
If they've already made it clear that they'll be accepting, there's no reason not to come out to them. (I can't say as they'll guess because you haven't had a girlfriend yet at age 16. If that were a true indication of gayness, then 100% of my friends in school were gay. Most of us were just dorky. ) And I can't imagine it altering your "adult" relationship with them. If anything, it should strengthen it, especially if you approach it as a "this is something I feel you should know" sort of thing. Lex
Lukee, You Don't Own No. 2! You are who God made you to be. When you do share yourself just know that you are sharing who you are at that particular moment. When you are 24 you will be different than you are now. Enjoy and celebrate!
But the thing is, I want to come out, but I'm not currently desperate... I have been in the past, but am glad that I haven't come out yet. But I AM going to by the end of the year. Lex, I hear what you are saying, and I 100% agree. But I just don't know how to come out to them. I understand the talking face-to-face way with them, and have tried it before. Even as I'm studying theatre, I've pretended it was just a role to play (telling them, that is), but I lost my courage at the last minute. Any advice on how to keep that confidence?
You set yourself up. Telling your mom and dad that you have something important to talk about is easy. All of those words are common words. 'Gay' isn't one of them. But then you have their attention - and there's nothing else to do but to tell them. They'll be relieved that you aren't hooked on drugs or on the run from the law. :icon_wink With respect to gay = no kids, that isn't necessarily the case. More and more gay couples are adopting children, so never say never.
just do what feels right to you. you dont want to have a fight with them and then shou it out at them thats how i did it. lol it did not go over well.
The fact is, I don't really want kids. But my parents probably want grandchildren, and I'm not going to live a lie just for that. Sorry if that sounded really harsh, but I'd rather live my life for me than for someone else. And I'd never shout it, I'd do the whole I have something to tell you, but the confidence just evaporates out of me the second I open my mouth!
Well then you shouldn't worry about something you aren't worried about- you say you really don't want kids and know that you won't do it just to "live a lie" - so why stress over "well I think they would want grandkids?" Seems like a thing to worry about MUCH later when you are in a position for KIDS one way or the other. As for two I would DEFINATELY be an advocate of coming out when you ARE NOT at the breaking point. You are glad that you havn't come out yet even though you've been in straining positions that you wanted to, but now you aren't anymore and you can just comfortably let them know who you are. It really is an unfair process to have to undo something/an image of you that never really was you (straight) so it's nervewracking to actually say. Just try to be calm about it especially since you guys have talked about it in the past. I had a strong relationship with my mom in the past that didn't include my love life (mostly nonexistent at that time, but besides the point) Now I tell her about guys I'm seeing and flings and what-not.. don't worry about keeping strong ties, from what you say it sounds like they'll only become tighter.
