Today, my sisters bf has been treating me kind of coldly. When he got home from work, he said hi to me and was nice and normal. After that, I've talked to him two or three times and he's being kinda mean. When I talked to him he had an bad attitude, but it seems like it's only towards me. Almost a week ago, I asked my mom to take me to a book store but she was busy, so my sis' bf offered. I said no(I'm only comfortable around a very small number of people). He then said that he wasn't a bad guy and he just wanted to spend time with me. I was shocked and didn't reply.(the bad guy part was because he's been in and out of jail a few times. Since the last time, hes cleaned himself up.) I know he's not a bad guy, but I was too shocked that he said this, to say anything. I've hung out with him many times but I'm not comfortable with 1 on 1 time.I don't know if any of this has anything to do with his attitude today. I've talked to him after the whole book store incident and even went to the mall with him and my sis and we had a good time. For almost two weeks I've been in a amazing mood. I've been getting out of my room more and spending more time with my family. But after him treating me like this, I just feel like going in to my room and crying and hiding from everyone. I don't wanna let this ruin my good mood lately but I can tell it is. What should I do?? I know I shouldn't let this affect me this much but it does. It just feels like everythings been going really good and now I'm sad.
Likely, he was hurt. If he's been in and out of jail, and is now trying to clean up his life, he probably feels like a second-rate citizen who is getting judged for his past. He probably doesn't really understand that you don't feel comfortable around many people, and was likely genuinely trying to help you out and maybe to be better friends with you, so when you said no, even though it wasn't intended to be offensive to him, he probalby took it that way. I'd say approach him and talk to him. Tell him that when he offered and you said no, it wasn't because you don't like him, but that you don't trust *anyone* and it's not him in particular, but you'd like to try to become friends with him, but building trust will take time. I think he'll come around.
Maybe you are projecting way too much about his attitude today. He really could have just had a shitty day, learned some bad news, got shot down, whatever. Maybe you are really only noticing it reflecting on you rather than the others in the house. My suggestion is just to steer clear of him for this one night, and accept the fact that people have bad days. Please don't let it ruin your overall mood...it sounds like you've been making some great progress, and you have lots of control over that. Good luck!
When I had posted this thread, I was in my room, hiding from everyone like I wanted. After I posted it I thought alot and decided to go back out there. I didnt want this to ruin it. I cried a bit but I think(or atleast hope) that I'm over it. I saw him again but we didn't talk. He left and I ended up having a great time playing a game with my family. Thanks for the advice!! If his attitude continues, I will talk to him. I hope it was just a bad day.
I would just ask him outright - "Are you mad at me?" I think 9 times out of 10 when you ask a person directly they'll give you a truthful answer. If he says yes then ask him why. If he says no, then tell him that you feel like he's being cold towards you and you're not sure why. What have you got to lose by asking him?
