The Ridiculous Reason I Stay Closeted

I'd kill for that kind of corny support

 

Why not tell them how you feel? When you come out to them, just mention, "I'm the same person I was before, so please don't try and act differently around me just because you know I'm gay now."

 

You called?

 

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but feel baffled when you said "I couldn't deal with that sort of reaction". What sort of reaction would you LIKE? Being kicked out? Told that you're the same type of person as a rapist, pedofile or arsonist? :eusa_doh:

But if you don't want people to make a big deal about it, let them know before you disclose the information as Markio said.

My intentions weren't meant to seem mean but I've just never heard this point of view before, so if you take it offensively, I'm sorry. I wish you luck in Coming out.

 

well at least you believe your friends would be accepting of you being gay. There are many people out there that have been disowned by family and dropped by friends becuase they are gay so I guess so many people would envy your situation. I believe certain family members would not take it well either, but some have taken it certainly well. I have lost friends becuase they figured out I was gay or when I came out there are a few ones that became more distant.

When you come out to them just say being gay does not mean you are any different from what you were before comming out. Just say being gay is not a major thing about you and get them to see that the chararacter about you is more important than sexual idenity.

 

ditto

 

If you don't make a big deal of it, the people you come out to are less likely to make a big deal of it too. Try throwing in a casual comment about someone you like or some organization you're a part of or even something about this board, and then carry on with your conversation as normal. My guess is you'll be less likely to get a strong reaction this way.

 

I'm also not entirely sure what my orientation is yet either. I also am not entirely certain of what the parental reaction would be, and even though i'm 21 years old, i still rely on certain things from my parents, and in case the reaction is bad, i want to be able to support myself fully.

 

:roflmao:

 

I tend to agree with Chip. There's something else that's holding you back. Almost like you think it's still your "dirty little secret" that they shouldn't concern themselves with. Whatever the reason, there's no need to rush if you're not ready. Maybe tell one friend that you're gay or at least questioning. That might help lower the pressure, and you can start trying to gauge reactions / prepare for reactions / bounce ideas. As far as wanting to avoid corny stuff, you could write a letter as suggested, and probably come out to groups of people at a time. But again, there's no rush.

However, corny or not, it's wonderful not feeling like you're hiding, but the process can be terrifying at times.

:rolleyes:

 

I think you might want to look into resolving a different sort of problem besides discovering your sexual orientation. You seem to have a problem with emotions, especially sharing and exchanging emotions with others. This has nothing to do with your sexual orientation, but it's liable to cause trouble for you in many aspects of your life.

Rather than go into a psychoanalysis, let me suggest a pathway. When you're ready and the time is right, allow yourself one coming out - one and only one, no more commitments after that. Make it to a person that you know will be supportive. But promise yourself to allow the full experience to unfold. If it gets emotional, let it. Just let it all happen as it will. Pretend it's like pushing a stone down the hill and then watching it roll away on its own; whatever happens beyond that point is out of your control but you won't try to block it from happening.

I think you might be surprised at how it feels for you (1) to come out to another person, and (2) to experience the full range of emotions that come with this. How can you enjoy the full emotional release of coming out if you block all these emotions? It's one of the most powerful and freeing parts of coming out.

Don't prejudge how it will feel. You may be very, very surprised at how good it can feel to share the joy of who you are with others!

 

Your still very young. Dont worry about coming out yet. I was almost 23 before I started coming out. The one thing you have on your side is it seems like you are pretty much accepting of who you are. In my case that was the hardest thing for me to accept. You are the only one that will know when the right time is.

Just a thought do it in one mass gathering right before you are getting ready to leave. Be like the Turkey was great, but I got to go to my boyfriends house.

 

If you don't feel that you can deal with the positive reaction from people if you come out don't come out, just liive your life the way you want to, with whom ever you want to, assuming that everyone already knows. If you don't act as if some major thing has happened then neither will the people around you there for no need for any corny support.

 

although i'd like support like that, i know exactly where you are coming from...

 

I would love support like that. I'm sure I'll have it from some people, but not all of my family is not that accepting. Although my dad (who once told me if I was gay, he would disown me, which is a great reason i'm not coming out to him anytime soon) shocked my pants off (funny image, huh?) when he told me he has met a gay guy at work and they are friends? Kinda strange, considering my dads reactions towards anything gay previously, but maybe its a good sign?

 

so you just gather all people and then tell them so that they response won't be like a broken record

 

If you don't want it to be a big deal at all, then why bother coming out and making it one? Just start dating guys and act like nothing is different.

For real though, you don't want people to care about you coming out? I'm sorry, but friendship is a two-way street, and you have to be able to know when/how to give and receive. If/when you do decide to come out, just tell them that you don't want you being gay to change how they treat you.

 

amen to that. not that i dont get any, but seriously theres ppl out there that could really use that