I haven't been this depressed for at least a year and a half. the worst thing is that I have no reason to be depressed I have some great family and friends and a good life and yet I am almost back to where I was before I came out to my mom which was when I was really suicidal. Now I'm not saying I'm going to go off and try to kill myself but I feel like if I did die it would be ok it just seems like my life is the same everyday and I guess I'm kind of lonely because while I have a lot of friends who I love and who I'm always around I just feel like I should have a girlfriend to spend time with and of course friends are friends but I need something on a different level and it is so hard to find that. but I don't think that is my reason for feeling like this I just don't know why I'm feeling like this. I don't know what to do.:tears:
I've never felt like this before, so I don't actually know what to do, but I suggest you hang out with your family and friends more, and keep a positive attitude. And, keep posting here! (*hug*)
umm I think I might try to do something bad to myself so I think I'm going to call somebody so they can take me to get some help so if you don't see me on here for a few days don't worry I'm going to make sure I don't do anything bad so I have to call somebody because I'm really scared right now and its really scary how this has just hit me for no reason so I'm going to do the right thing and get help. I'll talk to you when I get back.
You probably won't see this until you get back, but anyway.... Please try not to harm yourself. Be strong and wait for help to arrive. Perhaps try to go somewhere where you are not on your own, as this would make it more difficult to hurt yourself. I am really pleased that you have recognized the situation and are getting help. I hope you be back with us and feeling better very soon. Take care of yourself.
I think the easiest way to overcome depression is to make a conscious effort to help somebody else. Get involved. Volunteer. You could even volunteer at a gay rights organization which would then put you more in touch with people would could be a potential girlfriend or lifemate. You also need to eat right and excercise daily.
ok well when I got off here last night and I called a friend of mine who just happens to be a counselor too and asked her if I could come stay with her for the night. she said yes so I went over there and we talked about some things. she said that me being depressed could be because I have gotten into a routine of getting up, going to class and thats it and that I need to do something else that I need to find something else that I can enjoy doing. well anyway I still don't feel like myself but at least I'm not feeling like I'm going to hurt myself or anything. I think I'm finally going to look into some antidepressants though. this whole thing scared me because I'm usually the one giving advice on depression not getting advice and I felt like I did when I was in the closet and really suicidal. it still scares me but I'll be ok I was seriously thinking about going into the hospital but my friend helped me a lot. thanks for the replies. beckyg I really don't know of a way to find any groups and it really isn't about finding a girlfriend although I think that would give me something or whether someone to focus on.
I'm pleased to see you back here, safe and unharmed. You do sound a lot more positive too. It sounds like your friend has helped you to understand the issues, which is a good step along the process of dealing with them.
I understand exactly how you were feeling. Unfortunately depression isn't something that goes away easily, and you can't always find the trigger for it. But thankfully your friend has provided some much needed support, which is good to hear. I've been through alot of depression myself. I've had thoughts of self-harm & that if I didn't exist, or if something bad happened to me, it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Although I never hurt myself, I felt alone for a very long time & that no-one knew the real me. The main trigger back then was my sexuality & the fact I was continually trying to cover it up. But even though I've jumped those first few hurdles now, I still find the depression comes back once in a while. And I can't figure out what causes it to come back. I have found that talking to someone helps ALOT. Holding feelings inside & trying to 'figure it out' yourself isn't always good for you. Especially if you have several things on your mind. Sometimes just being able to communicate to another person can make you feel better for getting it out of your system. Luckily I have 3 really great friends in my life who I can go to & tell them whats upsetting me. They don't always have a solution, or an answer, but just having someone there to listen to my feelings makes things a bit better. Feel free to pm me whenever you need because I know things can get hard sometimes. Hope you're alright now though & take care (*hug*)
Wow Revealed you don't know how scary your reply is because I can really relate to you. About the self-harm (except I did actually cut when I was in the closet) but about if I wasn't here it wouldn't be a bad thing and I was really depressed when I was in the closet but now I'm not usually depressed but it does come back sometimes (like now) and for what it seems no reason. I too have some great friends who help me and it really does help to talk to them. Anyway thanks for the replies everybody I really do feel almost back to normal today.
depressed? so am I. i really wish i had some advice that you probably haven't heard already. i understand though with advice. it sounds great but when you go to do it its hard to get into the right mood. but one good thing to know is even if it doesn't go away that fast it will go away one day. its not forever and nothings worth taking your life over.
Angelonfire I wish you the best I know you have a hard time with depression too. I hate feeling depressed its hard to make yourself do anything all I want to do is sleep. I can understand your cutting situation because I cut for several years but I really don't know what made me stop I know I stopped right when I started coming out to more people but I can see thats not your problem because your out to everyone. I wish I could offer you some advice but I don't have any good advice I seriously thought about cutting again over the last few days but I haven't all I can say is take care of yourself. I know you and a lot of others on here can understand what I'm going through and that really helps to know I'm not alone and I hope it helps you too.
Like Angel said, nothing's worth taking your life over. There are times when you feel like the world doesn't care about you, that you will never be understood, & that no-one would miss you if you were gone. When I get really depressed, I feel that if I were gone, then maybe people would care more, & that it would somehow 'teach them' for not caring enough in the first place. It's almost as though my thoughts turn to a form of revenge. It might sound ridiculous to those who've never experienced depression, but nothing makes sense when you're in that state of mind. The hardest thing is fighting the urge to give-up, because that's always the easiest option. No matter how bad things might seem, or how isolated you may feel, just know the people in this group will always be here to help you. We all need support sometimes. And you will definately find it here (&&&)
There was a few years ago when I was really unhappy, and I took massive amount of pills on 2 seperate occassions. Taking the pills at the time I just wanted some relief looking back on it I am really lucky I didn't OD and die. As bad things are at a certain, things do get better, even if its a slow progress.
