I feel that recently, in the past few weeks, I'v been digging myself deeper into the closet. At school yesterday, a friend of mine said she saw someone that looked kindof like a gay version of me (it wasnt me, we were in a class together and she had just seen him). I didnt want to come out to her in the middle of class because that would be weird for everyone. I did say however, jokingly, "Maybe it was really me!" which obviously it wasnt. I wanted to just tell her, that I am the gay version of me. Then the other day a friend of mine and i were in the studio and she was pretending to be me and she used this deep slow voice (which mine is nothing like) and I said, why are you talking like that, I dont sound like that. She said it was her straight male voice... I wanted to tell her so bad that I was gay then, but there were so many other people around... I know I shouldnt care if those people hear, but I just dont want a lot of attention because I'm gay. Right now only one person at my school knows that I am gay, and he's been really great about not telling anyone, but at this point, I wish he would! Also, one of his best friends growing up is gay and he really wants me to go on a date with him but I cant do anything until i'm out to everyone and perhaps lose a little weight (I'v had a very busy year and my work mainly entails me sitting infront of a computer, or standing at a cutting table.)
Not much to say except they're giving you every opening in the world, and you're not taking them. I guess you know that. The only thing I can suggest is that you stop looking for perfect openings, and just create one. TELL somebody (else) already. They apparently know, and they're apparently cool with it, so holding back isn't gaining you anything. >>>Right now only one person at my school knows that I am gay, and he's been really great about not telling anyone, but at this point, I wish he would! Also, one of his best friends growing up is gay and he really wants me to go on a date with him but I cant do anything until i'm out to everyone and perhaps lose a little weight (I'v had a very busy year and my work mainly entails me sitting infront of a computer, or standing at a cutting table.) Don't get caught up in the weight thing. If you're worth dating at 150 lbs, you're worth dating at 200 lbs. Trust me on that one. Lex
Like Lex, my guess is that they *know* and are trying to tell you they know, and it's OK. So just get on with it! Send 'em a text or an email or an IM if you can't tell 'em in person
Whether they know or not, tell them. But tell them when YOU are comfortable doing it. I don't blame you for not blurting it out in the middle of class or when a bunch of people are around. But instead, make it a point to do it the next time you're alone with them. You could even bring up the situation again... "You know, I was thinking about the other day and I had to laugh, because when you said you were using your 'straight male voice' I was thinking 'that's silly - I'm gay!' "
