So, my girlfriend is in the Navy and is out on fast cruise. They have been in and out for about 2 weeks now. Her being gone has made me realize just how in love with her I am and how my life without her is just incomplete. I truly want to spend the rest of my life with her. She, on the other hand, told me that she doesn't miss home. She said she has been to busy to be. Her saying that made me feel like I'm nowhere near as important to her as she is to me. I've been so upset since she has been gone. We just moved into a new apartment, so I don't know anyone to talk to. She isn't allowed to use her cell phone, so she can't call me. But she has my email address and is able to talk to me...but she has yet to send me anything. Am I being selfish and irrational? I know she loves me, I have no doubt, but I really feel like I should talk to her about the way I feel because I wonder if we are on the same page with our feelings. She is 4 years younger than me so I'm not sure if she's ready to settle down the way I am. I just don't know what to do. Any advice?
Talk to her. Let her know how you feel. She may not realize how you feel when she says she does not miss home. Saying that she does not miss home is not necessarily the same thing as saying she does not miss you. I don’t think you are being selfish and irrational. We all want relationships that satisfy our needs. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, I would say it is unhealthy to be in a relationship that does not satisfy your needs.
It's important to talk about it with her. But you'll likely have to wait til she gets back. And be sure to talk about how you felt - not what she should have done differently. I think it's natural for you to miss her more than she misses you. She'd in an environment where you wouldn't normally be. It's a different situation for her, different surroundings, different things to do. Where as for you, you're doing the same things every day, only she isn't there as she normally would be. So do'nt worry too much about it. Maybe it's time to read that novel you've been wanting to pick up. Or to take the pottery class. Or something.
That's what the girls at work have told me. I told her how upset I've been since she has been gone and she told me that maybe I do love her more than she loves me. I didn't let her know it, but that was hard to hear. I'm not sure how to take that either. Maybe I just fall faster than she does and she needs more time to build a stronger relationship. I can understand that if that's the case. I really just need to be able to talk to her so I can work through all my questions.
From what little I know about the Navy (and all armed services), it's nearly impossible to miss anything, as there's no time for missing anything. If you've been spending time at home sitting around, it's perhaps no surprise that you're missing her a lot more than she misses you. You might try take a cue from that - keep busy, and you'll be a lot less likely to miss her so desperately. Lex
