Alright, I'm having a really rough night. And on top of that like my whole family just exploded on me. And I just got in the car and drove away from them. The story goes like this: About two weeks ago my sister asked if I would go on a blind date with a girl. Being that I'm a nice guy I said yes. So I went. We got ourselves some food and went to a local bar and drank a little and had a good time. This girl, her name is Rachel, was really cool. I hoped she wouldn't like me that way I wouldn't have to worry about her calling me back. I know, I know, crazy scenario...but that is my life. Plus I have a good chance of a girl not liking me because most of them don't. I'm not girly, I guess I'm just not good at being the "bad guy" they want. Or I'm not cute enough for them or something. I don't know. It usually works in my favor one way or another. Rachel liked me. A lot. She wouldn't stop talking about me with my sister. And now my sister wants me to ask her out on a date and I said I didn't like her like that. She asked me why and I told her that I thought we just weren't compatible. When this conversation happened my brother and my dad was there and everyone agreed that she was "nice" and "cute" enough and that I should go on a date. Their reasoning also being that I'm single and need to go out more. But mostly it is because this girl, Rachel, is like one of my sister's good friends....Isn't it weird for a sister to try and hook her brother up with one of her friends??? So anyways, I left because I felt attacked. They were saying things like "when are you going to start doing something with your life?" and other stuff similar to put me down. I feel like SHIT.
Do you think that maybe they were pressuring you because they "fear" you might be gay? But I know how you feel, I like girls but I'm going through my boy phase and I think since we were kids my dad wanted to set me up with his best friend's BRILLIANT (she's in Yale) daughter and I think her dad wanted to set her up with me! Like, it's some arranged marriage or something. Well, I got two words for them...FUCK THAT! LOL! She's soooo boring! But anyways, this is about you, not me, so don't feel like shit. Be happy that your family cares enough for your happiness as they do. It's good that you took a breather. I would feel weirded out if my sister asked me to go out with her friend! But you expressed that you did not want to go and that was the right thing to do. If you know nothing can happen of it why bother? Don't feel like shit!
Hi there! I'm sorry that you are feeling this way and that it had to come to you having to leave the house. I think letting everyone know that you are not interested in Rachel was the right thing. Going along with it wouldn't be fair to you nor to Rachel. Just wondering...have you considered of coming out perhaps to your sister and maybe she understand it better as to why you didn't feel anything for Rachel, and she might not attempt to hook you up with another friend again. I hope you are doing alright though. (*hug*)
Well, take it as a compliment from your sister. Obviously she thinks you're a good guy and wants you to date one of her good friends. Anyways, whatever you do, don't go out with her again... it'll just be worse on Rachel. I'm assuming you're gay and that's why you don't like her.
(*hug*) I can relate in a way. not that my sister tried setting me up, but that my mom did with "a nice boy" who was the son of a family friend. This was in highschool mind you. I tried going out with him for a bit, but it really didn't work. (D'uh), and my mom was a little ticked off. Just don't give Rachel the wrong message by asking her out. If you have to, tell her again that you felt you weren't compatible and that it's nothing to do with her, just that you don't have feelings other than strict friend potential with her. You said your peace with your family that you "weren't compatible" and if you're gay that's totally understandable. Just let them know that relationships aren't your priority now and that you want to focus on other things, assuming you're not ready to come out yet.
Ahhh...the old blind date routine. Been there before myself. Have you gotten the "when are you going to bring home a nice girl?" question yet? Being somewhat in the closet myself I know how you feel. All my friends tell me that "I really think if you found a girlfriend you would be much happier". God if they only knew. Is it odd for your sister to set you up? No. Sisters do that...it doesn't mean that she thinks you're gay or anything. Just say that you did not click and you do all right on your own. Atleast thats what I always do. I go on dates that are set up from time to time...they are miserable aren't they? lol.
Maybe it's time to come out. That would make it clear to everyone involved that it has nothing to do with whether or not Rachel is a good catch. I'm sure she is. I don't understand why you agreed to go on a date in the first place. It would have been so much easier to say 'no thanks' than to go through with it hoping it wouldn't work out and then having to deal with the aftermath because it did...
Jim made my point - why go on a blind date with a girl, and then hope it didn't work out to save having to have an awkward conversation later? You tell one lie (agreeing to go out with a girl when you like guys), and then have to tell more to prevent discover of the first one - Rachel, who has no idea why you don't like her when everything seemed to go well, is stuck wondering where it went wrong. If you're not ready to come out, then take steps to avoid these things in the future - no dates with women.
