Recently, I found out a friend of mine is gay. He didn't tell me, nor does he know that I know. A mutual friend of ours found him on a gay dating website and told me. HOLY SHIT. I couldn't have been more surprised. I had always assumed that he was straight, he gave no indications otherwise. In fact, I even based some of my straight mannerisms on him. I can really only think of one instance where I had any sort of idea. Obviously I am accepting of him, but it feels so strange. Last night, while trying to sleep, I just kept going on and on in my head. HOLY SHIT HE'S GAY. WHEN?! HOW?! I still can't quite grasp it. Now when I think about him, it feels like a void. I don't feel like I know him anymore... I texted one of the people I'm out to and asked her about it (another mutual friend of ours) and she's known for the past 2 months or so. She recommended that I come out to him--"Truth be told, I think it would be really good for your sanity to come out to him. You're both going through a tough time and it would be good to have a support system in that." I agree with her, but unsure as to how to proceed. I know he's in a bad place, and I myself am not doing much better. But, we're not as close of friends as we used to, and he doesn't know that I know. I don't want him to feel like I am invading his privacy, or forcing him out (I know I would be upset at either of those). It's an awkward situation to be put in, but I feel like we both could benefit from if we were honest. I still can't believe how much finding out somebody is gay is affecting me... Any advice, however minor, is much appreciated.
just come out to him and don't tell him that you know that he's gay too, let him tell you, i know it sounds weird but it will make him feel more comfortable coming out
I agree. Just come out to him first. He'll feel a lot more comfortable coming out knowing that someone else just did it in the same moment...
I agree with what the others have said. If you feel safe telling him then come out to him and see how he responds. Don't be offended if he doesn't come out to you as well, note that he may not be ready yet to come out to you. If you feel safe and ready to come out to him then you definitely should, it would probably be great to know he has a friend who understands better then most.
