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Gay or Bi answer?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by British Lad, Apr 20, 2010.

  1. British Lad

    British Lad Guest

    For those who know me, I have been trying to figure out which way I go. So i have have been doing so research on the definition of being gay and this is the overall verdict.
    "A person who is attracted solely or primarily to others of the same sex."
    Now i a woundering how this applys to me?
     
  2. RaeofLite

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    Don't label yourself dude. I know you're rushing to find a label but it takes time. When you look around and you're out on the town or looking at pics of celebs, which are you primarily attracted to?

    Have you heard of the Kinsey Scale? It's a scale on sexual orientation.

    0= straight

    3=equally attracted to both sexes (totally bi)

    6=totally gay

    Not everyone is one of those three. Some people fall inbetween them and are predominantly hetero but occasionally attracted to the same sex, and others are bi, while others are mostly gay but occasionally attracted to the opposite sex.

    Google the Kinsey Scale.

    I myself am not a total six, but I wouldn't call myself a 3 or 4 either. I am predominantly homosexual in what I find attractive and only willing to date/court the same sex.
     
  3. British Lad

    British Lad Guest

    I never said it would be quick is just as an referance point for my and hopefully other peaple who are too unsure what thay are I am not rushing.
     
  4. RaeofLite

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    I didn't mean to sound condescending or mean. :frowning2: I know it's tough. I wish you well in your self-discovery. (*hug*)
     
  5. British Lad

    British Lad Guest

    I will find out one day. (though i did see a realy cute guy in my class and I think he is gay [by the way he dresses] and I have not fully come out yet for obvuse reasons.)
     
  6. Mogget

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    "Gay," "straight," "trans," "bi," "homosexual," "lesbian," "queer," "fag," etc. are all cultural identifiers. The slurs, the neutrals, and the affirmatives alike. Whether we apply them to ourselves, or others apply them to us. There isn't a set-in-stone definition of "gay." There can't be.

    It's not like being human, it's like being British or American or Polish. There's not intrinsic test you can run for it, or for nationality (for example, I have a friend whose dad is officially a citizen of the Netherlands. It's not likely that he'll ever return there. He works, lives, and pays taxes in the US. Is he American? Is he Dutch? The decision is a cultural one, that he makes, and that others also make when they meet him. It all depends on their point of view).

    So, are you gay? If you identify yourself as such, then yes. What does that mean? Whatever the hell you want. And, sadly, whatever the hell others who ID you as "gay" want. That's why laws giving protection to the LGBT community have to include protection for those perceived as gay.

    I identify as "gay," and "bi," and "queer." Others identify me as "homosexual," "straight" (it's a default assumption, bound to happen), and possibly as "fag." None of these necessarily describe me. They only describe perceptions of me within a culture that acknowledges a distinction between having sex with women and having sex with men. Not all cultures do, others expect sexual interaction with both sexes, others don't even acknowledge the possibility of same-sex-attraction (which doesn't mean it doesn't happen anyway).

    It's because of this that epidemiologists and demographers have given up using terms like "homosexual" and "heterosexual." They risk having people who engage in one form of sex not identifying as such. Hence they use "men who have sex with men" (MSM) and "women who have sex with women" (WSW).

    Angels in America has a great description of how this works (NSFW):

    [youtube]98fBiOVEcyI[/youtube]
     
  7. British Lad

    British Lad Guest

    good vid that has given me food for throught and also what you sayed as well.
     
  8. zzzero

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    I think that so long as you know you like the same sex in any way whatsoever, that's all you need to know. Labels only exist so you can articulate to others what you prefer. So if you like men but might also like women, then that's that. You're putting a lot of thought into something that no one can tell you but yourself.

    The only way to figure it out is to really think about this and do not lie to yourself. You know what you like and dont like. Only you can say if you could never sleep with a woman or if you have no desire to.