Hey -- I'm going to San Francisco State next fall and will be living on campus in apartment-ish style housing. It's like one main door and then there's a double room and two single rooms and a shared bathroom. Should be pretty fun. But I think it will be all male in one apartment... :dry: So I plan on being out when I get there from Day 1 -- you know how everyone always exchanges emails or whatever before they move in?? Should I out myself then just throw it in casually or what did you guys do? Wait till you met them in person? I feel it'd be easier if they just knew from the first time I introduced myself (through the email) so then they have no pre-conceived idea of who I am and then if I were to out myself like 2 weeks after living with them. Plus that way if someone has some HUGE problem with it they can GTFO beforehand. If anyone here lives with a roommate(s) -- how'd you tell them? If you don't -- how WOULD YOU tell them?
I told my landlady in a letter. She knew before hand because I had girlfriends over in the past and am currently dating. It didn't seem like a big deal to her by the time I had given her the letter, but there was a space of time inbetween when I first brought a "friend" over to stay for a few days and the letter (several months). But incase it might cause problems, I would put it in the open right away. I mean, you don't want to be living with someone who has a problem with it, right? Awkwardness, possibly homophobic comments= unpleasant living experience. I would just strike up a conversation, make the topic turn to dating and casually say, "Yea, I might have a boyfriend soon." or "I hope there are some cute guys here on campus." Something along those lines would work if you're not fully comfortable telling them that you're gay. It'll be casual but still get the point across.
You might phrase your e-mail in a "here's some things you might want to know about me" sort of way. Your e-mail might look something like this... Hey guys - Looking forward to meeting you all, and looking forward to a great year in September! Not sure how we're gonna divvy up the suite, but I wouldn't mind being in either a single or the double. Some things that might come into play: * I get up every morning at 7am. No idea why, I just do. Because of that, I tend to go to bed a bit early, too. However, I can sleep through most anything, so it's not like you'll have to tiptoe around me. * I'm gay. I can't imagine anybody attending San Francisco State in the year 2010 would have an issue with that, but may as well get that out there in case somebody does. Not currently seeing anybody, but hopefully that'll change come September. * I do kinda have a problem with smoking. I don't mind if you do it, but I don't think I could handle having someone smoke in my bedroom. So if you really want to smoke in the bedroom, I'd rather not share the bedroom with you - hope that's OK. * I do sometimes like studying with classical music blaring. If that's a problem, that's fine - I can take my iPod outside or the library. Lex
I think Lex's advice was great. I sent my roommates a message on Facebook over the summer before we met to come out to them. I sort of introduced myself, and asked about who wanted to bring what (TV, fridge, etc.), and casually threw in a line telling them I was gay and that I hoped and didn't think it should be an issue. None of them had a problem with it, and we've lived together for eight months now without it being an issue. Keep in mind, all three were from a town of about 2,500 in rural Iowa. I'd imagine your chances of having accepting roommates at San Francisco State are a lot higher than mine were here
Yeah that sounds like a pretty easy way to do it -- just stating it while stating other facts to downplay the significance/not draw attention as that being your defining personality trait.
