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I Need Advice!!!!! Asappp

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by pokeypanda, Apr 23, 2010.

  1. pokeypanda

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    It’s been awhile since I’ve posted but I need some advice. So my girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago. I’m trying to move on but I still have feeling for her, you know how that is. But she broke up with me because she still had feelings for her ex. Now for some reason she won’t talk to me, like well be at the bar because we have mutual friends and she’ll pretend like I’m not even there.

    I don’t understand why she is acting mad at me like I did something wrong when she’s the one that should feel like an ass. But I guess my real problem is I never got any closure really. After she broke up with me OVER THE PHONE while I was in Florida on spring break we’ve never talked since then about ANYTHING!

    So I guess I should really move on right??

    It’s easy to sit here and say it, but def not that easy to do :icon_sad:

    HELPP MEEE!!!
     
  2. silverhalo

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    First of all I think you need some hugs (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*).

    Its always difficult when a break up occurs and because she broke up with you, it sends your mind and your feelings on a bit of a rollercoaster.

    I think the way she split up with you was harsh its really something I believe that should be done in person but that is besides the point and not helping you so anyway.

    I dont know why she is acting funny perhaps she feels bad for the way she dealt with it, or perhaps she still has feelings for you on some level. It could also be that she doesnt know what to say, but it certainly isnt your fault so she shouldnt make you feel bad. You didnt really say how it ended apart from that she said she had feelings for her ex, I mean did you argue or just get upset, did you say at the time that you still wanted to be friends? Have you asked her since why she wont acknowledge you?

    There is unfortunately no magical words I can say to you that are going to make you feel any better although it will get better and you will get over her and move on these things just take time. As for what you can do at the moment, I know you say you have a mutual friend but do you have other friends you can hang out with for a bit, I dont think you should avoid her completely because it would be great if you could get along in the future and you dont want to not see the mutual friend but if you are hurting being in the same place as her is going to be tougher on you at least to begin with. I say try and keep yourself busy with friends and it will get better.

    If you want to chat you are always welcome to write on my wall or send me a pm.
     
  3. Sylver

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    I'll agree that her distance from you is probably indicative of deeper issues under the surface. She may be torn, or she may have acted rashly and is now ashamed, or maybe this is how she's protecting herself from falling for you again. I'm not saying any of this is right, but she may be justifying it to herself in this way. It does seem quite harsh on her part.

    She may be doing you a favor though. It may hurt and it may leave some unresolved feelings on your part, but this can be a strong motivation for you to move beyond her and onto new relationships with no fear of going back. Too many people linger around lost relationships in the hope that things will return to "normal" someday, only to lose a huge chunk of their lives waiting. Yes, I'm offering painful medicine, but it might work out for the best in the long run.
     
  4. Lexington

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    Sometimes, we don't get the closure we'd like. People stop talking to us, they move away without explanation, they die. All you can do then is accept what is happening, and try to move on.

    You might send her a simple message - via facebook or e-mail or text. Saying "Even though we've broken up, I would still like to be friends. If you'd rather not go that route, I understand." And at that point, you're done. She can contact you if she'd like, but if she doesn't, assume she simply no longer wants to talk to you. It probably isn't "something you did", so don't retread that ground anymore. Just say "She decided she wanted to move on". Then work on doing the same. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  5. pokeypanda

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    Thanks soo much!! All the advice really helps...and your all right. Its probably gonna take some time but we only have one more week of school and I won't have to worry about seeing her hopefully.
     
  6. RedState

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    hey. I have found that most people that i have been involved with are cowards. While I am honest to a fault, most are not.
    It's tough. Nothing anyone can say can make heartbreak easy. And trust me...time does not heal all wounds...it just makes them tolerable.
    It's a process...that I am going through too.
    Oh how i wish there was a magic cure for the heart that hurts...but there is not. You can have all the advice in the world, but in the end, it is u that must pull yourself backtogether. Im in the process now, and it ain't easy or fun...but something that must be done for survival.
    Feel fre to wall me if you want to talk more.