I really really want to come out. I'm always thinking about it (which is turning into a huge drain of my time actually). But everytime an opportunity comes up I don't do it. Yesterday I was IMing my friend from high school. He started talking about Doctor Who (which he watches a lot). So I had an idea, I asked him if he thought the new doctor was better than the last one. And he said yes, and gave some explanation. And then I wanted to say, but david tennant (the actor who played last one) was cuter. But I just got nervous and didn't say anything. I keep backing down every time I plan to do it.....how do i push myself to just do it next time I have a chance.
I would love to give you some advice but I kind of have the same dilema. I always want to tell one of my friends but I always chicken out. I know she would be accepting but it is still scary.
Well, looking at it from the bright side: the first time is always the hardest time. Obviously there are some coming-outs that are still hard, but after you experienced it once, it’s easy to draw strength from that when coming out again and again. So once you get over this mountain, it’s downhill from there on. And what you’re doing now is really quite normal. Having a “near-coming-out-experience” (or two, or three, or ten), is not a sign of failure. Rather, it’s your mind recognizing ever more opportunities, and you getting closer every time. Think of it as taking the few steps back that are necessary to make a running jump! There are several things you can do to give yourself that final push. For me, it helped having written a letter. I never actually used it (it still sits in a file on my computer titled: "letter I never used" ), but having a whole speech thought out, with replies to the major questions people could ask, and the actual words “Dear friends, I am gay!” made it more concrete. In a way, after having made this speech to an imaginary audience made it easier to tell them in reality. It can also help to decide that you’re coming out ahead of time and then try to go through no matter what. You don't spot an opening, you make it! The way you describe it, makes me think that you saw an opportunity and didn’t manage to take it. Maybe you should just decide on a time to come out, and then just grab hold of the conversation and say “Can I just tell you something? I have been meaning to tell you for some time, because I really want to be honest with you. I'm gay". Yes, it might be highjacking the conversation, but friends do have a right to demand a bit of attention every so often. Most importantly, deciding ahead of time gives you the advantage, instead of waiting to react to something and then feeling jittery. (In fact, the day before I came out to my mom, I even went so far as to announce it here beforehand, to give me even more of a push in the back). If all else fails, maybe you could just send them a letter. It's as simple as clicking "send", and they can digest and think about it at their own pace. And again, the initiative is in your camp, rather than you having an opportunity and having to make a snap decision whether to take it.
Sometimes, you'll get stuck. When that happens, you might have to force yourself. So feel free to e-mail, text, or IM somebody you trust and just say - completely without preamble - "I'm gay." Lex
Just wanted to say good luck I'm sure you'll get comfortable saying it in time. Glad to see another Ontarian btw
I'd never had the courage to say it in person. So I went through the email route instead. Knowing that there is a delay between the replies made me anxious but is much better than in person.
Well i guess one way to do it would be to drink a lot of Red Bull and let your adrenalin lead you into doing it, then after the first time it should get easier. Another way would be to just give yourself some time. Get to know whoever you plan on telling that way you will be able to predict their reaction when you tell them. You'll know when you're ready. Good Luck! (*hug*)
