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Psychological Dependency

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kettleoffish, Apr 25, 2010.

  1. kettleoffish

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    I've always enjoyed smoking cannabis. The thing is, recently I've been smoking a lot more of it than usual because of a number of reasons. I've smoked every day this week except one, and last night I got myself completely and utterly baked - Me and a few friends were sitting on a bench with music on laughing to ourselves for about half an hour over a joke I don't even remember. Not going to pretend it wasn't a great night, but I just feel kind of empty now, and I've been feeling kind of like this whenever I haven't been stoned for the past wee while. Sort of depressed, but not really. A bit tense but also placid.

    This is all fine and dandy, but my problem comes from the fact that I have exams coming up which I need to pass to get into college. There's no way I can concentrate if I'm baked off my head whenever I need to study. What do you lovely lot think would be my best course of action so that I can not feel like this in a week's time, but also not be stoned. Do you think I should just not smoke weed for a week or two and let it settle down and get out of my system?

    note that I'm not going to give it up completely. If I have to not smoke between now and my exams, I can do that, but I enjoy it too much to completely give up.
     
  2. Lexington

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    The obvious thing would be to just skip it until you're done. But judging by the title of the thread, I wonder if you think you can do that.

    Lex
     
  3. Chip

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    Drew Pinsky (Dr. Drew), whom I have enormous respect for because he's a very straight shooter who doesn't seem to have an agenda, says that cannabis is definitely addictive (more so psychologically than physically but some of both) and that it can be difficult to kick because the feelings you get when pulling away from it are pretty strong and last quite a while. He treats a lot of people for it at his inpatient recovery center. So it's possible that's what you're experiencing.

    What it really boils down to is what you can and can't do. If it isn't an option to stop entirely until your exams are over, then perhaps you can control the time you smoke and keep it as far away from the exam and study time as possible. Or smoke just a little so that the cognitive impact is minimal.
     
  4. adam88

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    Taking a break/cutting back from time to time is good for you.
     
  5. kettleoffish

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    I definitely agree that the stuff's addictive. I feel kind of like when I tried to give up smoking (tobacco). It's the same feeling. I never made it past this stage with cigarettes though. Fuck.

    I feel now like I'm losing control. I don't like that at all. I never realised until now that I'm trapped by the stuff. Why can't weed not be addictive? Why can't it be something that I do every now and then when I'm out with my mates and we enjoy, like drinking is. I'm not addicted to drink. It's just a social thing.

    feel free to disregard this post. I didn't know where else to rant.
     
  6. Chip

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    Most addictions, though they have physical elements, derive from emotional underpinnings; at some level, a desire to escape from something (unhappy life, bad feelings, unconsious memories, discontent/self esteem problems, etc).

    And how we cope with whatever undesirable feelings we have determines what form the addictions or coping strategies take. Drugs are a common and easy one, and also one of the more dangerous ones because they offer an "instant fix." One of the least unhealthy ones I've seen is exercise addiction (which is quite real, actually). So in the long term, to solve the problem, you'll need to work on whatever the underlying issue is that drives both the desire for smoking and the desire for cannabis.

    I would suggest that you give some consideration to exploring what's going on for yourself, though, because if you're self-identifying it as a problem, it is not likely to stop with cannabis; at a certain point, the normal pattern is the coping strategy fails to work as effectively as it did, and then you start seeking out something else (usually something even more unhealthy.)
     
  7. adam88

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    I agree with Chip, whenever I've been smoking too much cannabis (multiple times a day by yourself is a bad sign) it's usually due to other issues in my life that I'm trying to run away from.

    One good thing about de-toxing is that if you can go back to responsible, casual use (say, for example, once or twice a week or so with friends) you get much higher off of the same amount. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  8. adam88

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    Also to add:
    EDIT: I also wanted to add that a lot of people underestimate psychological addiction. Just because it doesn't have the same "puking and shaking as you go through withdrawal" effect as, say, opium, doesn't mean it can't be harmful if you're not careful.

    I tried editing my post but it won't let me. !?! Maybe there's a time limit on edits?
     
  9. kettleoffish

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    Thanks for the advice guys. I do feel a lot better today actually, that's exactly what I'm wanting Adam, to be able to have it a few times a week with friends at the most, as a luxury. Something I do for a bit of fun, not something I feel like I depend on.

    I think you're bang on the money chip, I'm certainly not what you might call emotionally stable, there is something that I'm not comfortable talking about openly (I have discussed it anonymously here and with staff) that does often play on my mind and make me worry a lot.

    When I made this thread I was feeling really low, for a number of reasons, and this is something I've been meaning to confront for a while now. So is the general consensus that I should stop smoking weed (at least more than every week or two) until after my exams then?
     
  10. Chip

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    Tough call. Learning is state-dependent to some extent, so if you study sober (which is what it sounded like), then I would recommend laying off the cannabis and taking the test sober as well.

    However, if the cannabis is self-medicating for anxiety, then you'll have to judge for yourself how well you function without it. If you find yourself getting really anxious, you may need to try something different -- relaxation techniques, breathwork, meditation, etc.

    A number of people I know who have problems with anxiety have found that taking 5-HTP (available at health food stores) is often really effective to reduce anxiety (in fact, frequently as effective or more effective than anti-anxiety drugs without the side effects.)
     
  11. kettleoffish

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    I don't find exams stressful at all, and yes, I did almost all of the work for them sober, so doing the tests sober is probably the best plan. I just really really don't want to fuck them up - college hangs in the balance.
     
  12. kettleoffish

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    Just a nifty wee update - I've decided to drive towards better health in general both physically and mentally, I'm quitting smoking tobacco, and limiting my cannabis use to once more before the end of my exams, and after that to only when I'm with friends (my friends don't smoke cannabis much, maybe once a week at most). I'm also going to work on eating healthier and exercising more.

    Also, I'm going to stop fannying around at school and do some work, beast out these exams next month.

    Thank you EC, you've helped me to get somewhere I've been wanting to for a long time.

    edit: maybe I'll even come out to my parents. Achieve all my goals in life over the next few months? who knows.. I'm on top of the world :grin:
     
  13. adam88

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    :eusa_danc(!)

    Glad we could help. :slight_smile:
     
  14. Chip

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    That is great news! If you commit to taking better care of yourself, it really isn't all that difficult to do. Just get a plan and ask your friends to help you follow it (or, for that matter, check in regularly here and tell us how you're doing.)
     
  15. donnie5

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    Just as a side note, I know from numerous psychiatry classes that the feeling of being depressed the next day is the fact that the weed completely dumped all the dopamine in your brain. without the dopamine there is no hope of feeling better, and the only way to have normal healthy dopamine levels again is quit smoking. the scary thing is that if you smoke all the time your body learns to not put out any dopamine until its triggered by the weed. though its not by any means permanent if you are a heavy smoker it can take multiple months to have your mental chemicals return to a normal healthy level. there is a drug, I don't know what the European name is but in America its called Abilify. It's advertised as a mood stabilizer, but how it works is it stabilizes dopamine receptors so it could help your receptors go back to normal faster. I hope I was of some help. The reason I know a lot about this is because when I was a teenager I had the same problem A heavy pot addiction. but eventually I grew up and my life is more fulfilling from other things.
     
  16. kettleoffish

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    time for a depressing update guys.

    This month I went through over £100 worth of weed. I smoke more cigarettes than ever before in my life and I don't know how I can cut back sensibly again.

    on a more positive note, I made it through my exams, managing to get some of the best results in the school :grin: meaning I got into university, never mind college. Obviously I'm well chuffed about that. I move out on thursday and there's a lot worrying me at the moment.

    First and probably foremost (and why I didn't make a new thread) is my weed situation. I'll need to work hard to get my degree, and I'll need to be sober to do that. I also can in no way whatsoever afford to smoke even close to the amount I'm smoking at the moment, my worry is that I might have left it too late to cut back easily. I've gotten physically and mentally used to being stoned pretty much every day. Today being the first day in about 2 weeks when I haven't, and I feel like shit. I don't want to feel like this in my first week at uni. I want to be able to enjoy getting to know the place, meeting new people, that sort of thing.

    My second worry, unrelated to the first, is about being me at uni. I'm 16, and I'm gay. I'll be one of a minority of students who is underage so I might end up excluded socially (although a fake ID is probably not outwith the bounds of possibility) but I'm not really worried about that. Being gay on the other hand.. In 4 days I move into a new place. I'll be sharing a flat with between 5 and 7 complete strangers for the next year.

    How do I bring up me being gay? I don't want to go back in the closet. I want me being gay to be accepted as normal, like it is at home. what I'm worried about is how long it took for that to happen here. I was outed at a very young age, and I was bullied at school for about a year and a half over it. It's been nearly 4 years now since I was outed and only recently have people truly accepted me for me. I don't want to ever go through that again. I know universities are generally more liberal, and that the people I'll be with won't be 12 year olds who don't know any better, but the thought of going through that again scares the living shit out of me.

    I don't really know what I want from this post. I'm partly just venting, partly wanting a bit of reassurance, and partly a bit of advice I suppose. I trust I can get those 3 things from the people on this forum. Thank you.
     
  17. Chip

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    With regard to the coming out issue... on most any campus you'll find a pretty high degree of acceptance of gay people. I'd say just casually mention it, or leave obvious hints around (pic of you and a current or former bf, or a little rainbow flag, or somthing).

    They may be a lil uncomfortalbe at first if they haven't been around gay people, but they'll get used to it and be fine with it.

    Also, I think you'll also find a differnet quality of acceptance at uni from what you're used to at school. College students have a different level of maturity and you'll be judged more on who you are than how old you are. If you act mature and treat people with respect, I think you'll find a majority of people treat you with respect back.

    As far as the weed... you already know what you need to do. You may be at a place where occasional use isn't possible for you; that's a decision only you can make. The withdrawal isn't that bad compared to a lot of other drugs. You might feel shitty for a few days but then you'll be OK. I understand about wanting to be with the others, but if you can get past this, I think you'll be a lot happier in the long term.

    And... look into therapy. You have a bunch of things going and it will be very helpful to you. :slight_smile:

    But most important... keep your head up. You are way ahead of the curve because you already understand what's going on with you, and what you need to do to fix it. You'll get there. :slight_smile:
     
  18. kettleoffish

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    I've had a good, long, sober night's sleeps and I feel a lot more positive now. Thank you chip, that was exactly the sort of reassurance about uni that i needed to hear. When I said about being underage I didn't mean people will shun me for being young though, I more meant that I can't go to bars or clubs as easily, although as I said, a fake ID is probably not that hard to come by.

    I feel a lot better physically today though. Which means that really I'm only at a point where the first day without weed is shit, and with hindsight, yesterday probably would have been quite a stressful day with or without me being in a state of withdrawal. I was at my grandmother's stone setting (a sort of Jewish second funeral) which clearly had more effect on me than expected, and somebody said something really very inappropriate about a local tragedy that happened in my town some years ago, which involved the murder of several people I know or would have known so I was quite shaken up at that, and obviously I had to hold my tongue because a stone setting is not exactly the place for an argument. Or for me ripping a middle aged woman limb from limb..

    I think once I get to university, therapy might well be a very good idea. There's no point in me finding a therapist at home, because I'm only here another few days so I'm best to wait and find one in Glasgow.
     
  19. darkcheesse

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    Advice a friend gave me
    Study high
    Take the test high
    Get high scores! Lol
    Dosn't work I came out with only c's
    Just quit weed till after your exams
    I smoked quite bit of weed, my best advice is quit weed for now till after the exam
     
  20. Chip

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    Whatever happened to wanting to quit weed entirely? It's one thing to make your own bad decisions, but please don't encourage others who are trying to start making good decisions to continue to make bad ones.