So I have a huge crush on my friend, K. I recently came out to him cuz i had a small hope that he was gay too. So if i came out to him then he'd come out to me. Well that didnt happen but we are still kinda friends. Well my friend A, has developed a crush on him too. And he is the only thing she talks about. Well now I'm trying really hard to get over him but not ruin our friendship, and A and K have gotten really close. So, of course A only talks about K and how she thinks he really likes her. Its all just making getting over him a million times harder. Idk what to do to speed this up tho, cuz I really want to be happy for them but i cant because i keep getting reminded that he wont ever be with me.
This kind of situations are never easy to handle, and I am sorry it's happening to you (*hug*) (*hug*) I know you'd probably like to hear something else, but time is your best ally in this situation. There is no miracle recipe to get over someone in a night, or even a week time, but it's going to happen. It would also be good if you could distance yourself a little from your friends, so that you won't be the permanent witness of whatever is going to happen between them. Give yourself some space and time, it will help. Maybe try to see more your other friends, start a new activity, join a LGBT association or a GSA, whatever is going to help you to think about something else and meet new people. Take care of yourself, and don't worry, you'll find someone who'll love you, it's just a matter of time. (*hug*)
I think Eleanor got the gist of it. To my personal experience, the only way to get rid of a crush is to wait it out, and wait until whatever chemicals causing crushes in the brain have run their course... Depending on how invested you get in your crushes, that might take time though. For some it’s just a matter of meeting a new cute guy a week later, for others it can take a few months. The good news is that even if it doesn't feel like it now, this will die down. Not being always around the two might help. Of course, even if you can’t see them, you should also try not to spend too much time thinking about them either. Often, obsessing over a crush tends to make it deeper. So try to recognize when you’re thinking about this crush and distract yourself by doing something else. While you're not spending time with them, hanging out with people helps in keeping the mind occupied. So it might help to focus on other friends right now. Obviously not to the exclusion of your friendship with K, but at least you'll avoid getting into conversations with A about how awesome K is that way. It’s often said that the best remedy against one crush is developing a new one. I’m not saying that developing one crush after the other is always the best thing, but it helps to try and at least be open to the idea that there is bound to be someone more available coming along eventually. So if you keep your eyes peeled, you're bound to meet someone who will return the feelings. I know that saying "wait it out" is not a miracle solution, but I'm sure that things will be allright in the end! (*hug*)
No easy answer to this. I have found that the only way to TRULY get over someone is to find someone else...and I'm not talking about just a body to lie with, but someone you click with. You may not think there is anyone else out there...but there is. I'm trying my best to get over someone right now, and it is TOUGH...at times it seems impossible... because all you do is think about that person. Time does help, but it is not the ultimate answer. I am trying to keep busy and stay around friends as much as possible...do the same. I'm going through the same thing right now...so feel free to wall me if you want to talk more.
What I usually do is just talk to my friends, meet new people, and it always helps if you find someone else. My friends are so great, they'll deal with me ranting about someone for hours at times, and it really helps to get all your feeling out.
