ok lets start with im am mostly out...it hit facebook about 16 weeks ago, my mom knew before that along with a lot of my close friends that i felt that i want to hear it from me and not facebook, since then i have told my uncle my grandma, and a few other people including some at work...so i consider myself out... i have never been in a relationship, but would love to be soon, one of my concerns is that i dont want to get in a relationship then be resented by my potential partner because i dont know if im ready to display my affection in public, i dont know if i would be able to walk down the street and hold his hand or anything of the sorts...is there any way to help get over this... thank you for your help **wayne**
Really, communication with your partner is key. I was nervous as well when I first held my girlfriend's hand in public. People constantly asked if we were lesbians and I would say no because I was afraid. In the end, I should have told the truth. Would have done a lot for me and my relationship. Just communicate your feelings to your partner first!
You're putting the cart before the horse here. Find the boyfriend first, then figure out how comfortable both of you are with PDAs. He might not want to either - so no issue. You might be so 'head over heels' for the guy that you won't be able to keep your hands off him - whether you're out in public or not and he'll be the one saying "hands off!" You might both decide that it's cool to hold hands or stuff. Don't worry about it.
I agree with jim. Just worry about the boyfriend thing first and then everything will pretty much fall in its place. I felt the same way you did. I thought I would never be able to hold hands with another guy in public or kiss in front of anyone. After a month or so I pretty much got over it and we now hold hands (sometimes) and kiss whenever we want to (obviously not making out xD) You'll be fine
One of the best ways is to go somewhere where the gay guys are. And by that, I don't mean clubs and bars... though they can be fun, they're often not the best places to find relationships. Your local college or university probably has a gay center or group, and usually they're cool about having people come to meetings even if they aren't students. That can be a good place to start. If there's a gay center in town, see what sort of volunteering opportunities exist there, that can also be a great way to meet new people. And used the right way, Myspace can be a great way to meet people... but focus on reading profiles and learning about someone's interests, and respond to those who share your interests and tastes, talking about that and about yourself a little, not just a "hey, you're hot" email because they're cute It's not as hard as you think once you start taking steps
