*sigh* Ok, so I had a plan to come out to my parents around the end of this month/early next month (see this thread: http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33036) but some stuff has come up since then that make me question whether it’s still a good idea (plus maybe a little bit of cold feet). The original plan was to wait until both me and my mother were at a low point in terms of work load (i.e. I was finished my finals for the semester and she was done most of her courses for her program for a while) so that neither of us has to worry about other stuff in case me telling her is stressful for her. Well as it turns out I’m now finished with my finals, but my mum (the work-a-holic that she is) won’t have a break in her workload like I’d anticipated. She’s got changes happening in her job and she’ll be working on her thesis until more classes start up again. Is it selfish of me to still want to come out to her now that I’m done but if anything she has more on her plate than before? On the one hand I don't know if it's a good time right now, on the other I don't what to keep putting it off and never get around to it.... If anyone is willing to offer some advice and/or encouragement I would greatly appreciate it!
Reading that thread, it seems like you and your mom have a close relationship, which is totally cute. In my opinion she probably won't take your coming out badly, since you guys seem to share such a close bond. But you said she's working AND writing her thesis currently...so she probably has a lot on her plate. You can either wait for when she's not so busy with many different things or tell her now...In the end it's your decision. Waiting would probably be the 'safest' option, but what if you come out to her soon and she's not phased by it at all and is completely accepting? Then you would have wasted a more time hiding this from her for nothing. It's your call.
Do you really think it would be such a source of stress to your Mom? If your relationship is so close, she probably even knows already. I wouldn't put it off any longer, but this is just my five euro cents (inflation!)
Hi there! Given that your relationship is close with your mum and she would seem supportive, I think the question is not as to how busy she is, but rather are you ready to come out to her? Trying to look at everything that is going on in your and her life and bringing that to the fore could be a sign that maybe there is a part of you that is not ready yet to take that step. That said, and given that you have mentioned: it seems that you do feel that she should know. Maybe what would help you is in trying to create an opportunity where you can come out to your mum. When I was debating as to when to come out to my parents, I tried to find every possible excuse as to why it wouldn't be the right time. That was until a friend of mine said, we are all always busy. Things will come up and sometimes some things will last for longer and keep as busy somewhat longer than we anticipated. In other words, the perfect time will always seem far off. But, you can create an opportunity to ask for your mum to take a time out from her work. Maybe go for a walk with your mum or just try to ask her if she would have a few moments as you would like to talk/chat with her a bit. First things first though: stand in front of the mirror, and say out loud, "I want to come out to my mum" and observe as to what is happening within you. If it feels right, then try to think about as to asking your mum to go for a walk, or make some coffee or tea and ask her to join you in the living room or in any room in the house where you feel most comfortable. If you feel ready and you know that your mum will be supportive, give it a try. You can do it Ger! (*hug*)
