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born gay or not

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by keops832, Sep 3, 2007.

  1. keops832

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    i went to a psychologist in my city and he told me that i am gay not because i was born like that, but because my father left me when i was a child and i've became very attached to my mother during childhood. he also said something about the Oedipus complex. he said what i have is a behavioral disorder and can be corrected. he told me that in order for me to heal, i must remove all material with homosexual content from my computer, stop talking with gays, and try to redirect my feelings and emotions towards women or if not, to ignore and repress them further. i simply can't stop thinking about my feelings. it causes me to accumulate more anger and despair, but this doctor just doesn't get it. all i know is that i was emotionally attached to boys as early as kindergarten and the erotic attractions developed in puberty. is this man's theory correct, or was i born gay? can the feelings be annihilated in any way?

    P.S. i've also read on wikipedia that psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud also held that the unsuccessful resolution of the Oedipus complex could result in neurosis, and homosexuality.
     
  2. Psych!

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    Trust me, supressing those feelings won't help at all.

    That's what I did since I can remember and all it caused me was depression and isolation.
    I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I felt like I was lying to myself to prevent being humiliated for being something that isn't, well "normal".
     
  3. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    you were born gay. don't see him. he will ruin your life. i heard of people being 'healed from homosexuality'. i personally think they spend the rest of their lives pretending to be straight and being misrable. you like guys because you were born liking guys. Be proud of your sexuality! i read a whole article that being gay was natural. many species of animals have both striaght and gay members. its completely normal for you to be gay. being homosexual isn't as common but neither is being albino. Your born with likes and dislikes. its in your genes. stop listening to people like that phycologist. he is a homophobe. were i live they are fighting not to have people say such stuff to patients because its not true. stay strong against the lies and live life the way you enjoy it!
     
  4. beckyg

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  5. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    i had a bad father. i am lesbian. the whole parent thing to me is bull. so would having two moms make their son gay?
     
  6. panda

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    About 30 years ago I thought about being gay,or coming out but I said to myself "I'll wait until my Mother dies and then I'll be free." so my Mother lived to be 94 years old and I spent 30 years in depression drugs and alcoholism.So screw that Dr. and listen to your heart.There's many other Doc's and many ,many support groups to help.:thumbsup:
     
  7. careandrespect

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    Hello Keops832.

    My first suggestion is to be aware of the fact that you have the right and should seek help from another psychologist. As the other EC members have said Reparative Therapy can be very damaging for someone who is homosexual. This is equivalent to trying to change who you are.

    The next thing you must ask yourself is do you feel comfortable about your sexual orientation? If you can accept this the best thing is to seek help from a psychologist who is willing to help you sort out your feelings and go on with your life.

    I know from my own experience of twenty three years of trying to suppress my feelings. It only made me feel worse and more confussed. I am greatful for the fact that I was able to find the help from a psychotherapist who was able to help me accept my orientation and understand that it was normal.

    I hope this helps. Always know that you have many people here at EC who understand your feelings and are willing to offer you the help and suppport you may need.

    careandrespect
     
  8. JayHew

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    The Reparative therapy as seen in the US with various church groups has been condemned by most of the psychological organizations as very damaging to the individuals that have gone through it. The psychologist you are seeing is operating from his own agenda and is not the person you should be seeing, if at all possible, see someone else. Even though Freud is respected and considered the father of modern psychiatry and psychology, much of his various theories have been proven wrong.

    Whatever you do, don't suppress your feelings, it will lead to further depression and unhappiness. Seek out support groups in your area and don't give up talking to others who are gay. You were born this way have a right to live without shame.
     
  9. keops832

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    thank you for your assistance. i too agree that this so called therapy of repressing your feelings and desires only causes you more harm. but you see, the reason i went to this psychologist in the first place is because i need to be healed. i need to be healed because God does not love gay people and will throw them to hell for eternity if they don't annihilate their condition. now you may believe that i'm a medieval minded outdated moron for believing in things like hell, but you can't deny the fact that apostle Paul said that no gay shall inherit the Kingdom (I Cor. 6:9-10), and that he called homosexual acts as being "vile affections" (Rom 1:26-27). and Jesus also affirmed that hell is real. now you understand why i am so sad and cannot accept myself. unless i find a way to purge my feelings, God will not accept me. trust me, before i found out about the biblical prohibitions regarding homosexuality i never considered myself sick. on the contrary, i was very happy with who i was and that i had the ability to love somebody. but if my love does not meet God's standards then who am i to comment?
     
  10. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    God wants you to be happy. i'm not going to bash your religion but take my word for it. God loves you no matter what the bible says. live your life the way you enjoy it and God will be happy long as you don't kill or hurt others.
     
  11. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    and i just have to say this: you chose you religion, not your sexuality. chose to be happy.
     
  12. beckyg

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    I admire your faith and love for God. I would suggest you go to www.soulforce.org and read some of the stories there about homosexuals who have reconciled their sexuality with their faith. I hope it will help you learn to love yourself as God loves you.
     
  13. keops832

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    ok, i'm sorry i'm going off topic now, but i really must know this. if God accepts gays for who they are then why did almost all Christians condemned homosexuality since the beginning and still do? if pro-gay Christians have the right interpretation on the Bible, then why are anti-gay Christians opposing them?
     
  14. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    because (excuse my words) anti-gay christians are stupid people who won't expand their minds.
     
  15. keops832

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    yes, i agree partially with you. but you have to admit that there are also highly trained theologists and intellectuals among them. you can't say they're all bigoted.
     
  16. Owen

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    I know I risk sounding ignorant by typing what I'm about to type, but I'll take that risk.

    I don't know who said this, but someone said in a different thread that you can not choose your sexuality, but you can choose your religion. Religion should not be a burden on your life; it should be a blessing. My guess is that you were raised from birth to be Christian, or whatever your religion is, so you see it as the only religion out there. It isn't. There are many ways people have interpreted God. Christians, like many religions, claim that they are right in their interpretations, but in the end, you need to find a way of thinking that works for you. And remember: if no religion works for you, you can come up with your own religious beliefs. If your religion makes you unhappy, then you need to find a new one. We can choose our religion, so why should you choose one that makes you sad?

    People will always fear what is different, and Christians are no exception. And the reason pro-gay Christians are opposed by anti-gay Christians is that people fear only one thing more than things that are different; the only thing they fear more is change. Also, Christianity has a way of brainwashing people who come to it in desperation. People will believe anything that a "reliable" source tells them, and if that source got it wrong, that belief may never be changed. Remember that Christianity is only one source of interpretation of God; it is not omnipotent, nor are its leaders or members.

    You're right; not all of them are bigoted, but since so many of them are, the accepting ones usually don't get their message out.
     
    #16 Owen, Sep 3, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2007
  17. Bryan

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    One, I dont think anyone will ever be able to answer the nature vs nurture debate, but there are a million factors that apply here. Two, get a new psychologist, one who know what he is talking about, homosexuality can not be "cured". three, God does love you and accept you. If god didnt like gays, god wouldnt have made so many people gay. We are all creatures of god, and he/she accepts and loves us all. Just be proud and happy to be you, and be a good person and god will love you
     
  18. paul7836

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    The verses i have been told are against homosexuality in the bible seem to be mistranslated depending on the version of the bible.