I have two good friends. They are uni mates with whom I have a good friendship. I spent all my heart to grow up this friendships and it was a success. In addition, they met each other and became friends also. Recently, they have become very good friends and I feel slightly taken apart from them. They live in the same neighborhood and go to the gym together. They have also similar tastes and tend to plan activities for them, without me. We're still good friends and do activities alltogether, but I foresee that they will end without me in their plans. And I'm irritated. It annoys me because I was the one who cultivated the two friendships and now they relate more between them than with me >_< I feel too bad of thinking this way towards them, because they are nice guys and I appreciate them, but I don't see this "esteem" returned. Given my history of friends (something similar happened in the past) I fear that they just forget about me. Could I do something for prevent this thing going worse, and recover this little-but-noticeable distance that I've lost with them?:icon_sad::help: PS: It's very difficult for me to express complex feelings in English, so try to imagine the situation, if you can :icon_redf Today I feel like crap...
I'm sorry you feel this way! (*hug*) I know what it can feel like to have friends go away. Are you sure that they're drifting away from you, or are you drifting away from them? Are you certain that you're not the one putting the distance between you? When you're spending time with them are you still the same person as always, having as much fun with them as you can? Or is this fear that you're losing them causing you to act differently, maybe suspiciously, maybe subconsciously showing resentment or even jealousy towards them? It could be that they are picking up on this and sensing that you're not quite as much fun to be around as before. I may be wrong, but think about it. The next time the three of you get together, try something. Try just having fun and being yourself and don't worry at all that they are drifting away from you. Put all your negative feelings and suspicions aside and just be you. See if you have more fun with them, and see if they pick up on it. What have you got to lose?
I would agree with James and maybe it is just that your envious and so maybe havent been acting normally around them, which they may have noticed. I suppose you could try organising activities yourself for all three of you or maybe bring other friends aswell if you can. Or if they are drifting away don't let them forget about you >3 Make sure you "get in there" with any planned events or plan your own, just try and be a good friend I hope things get better soon (*hug*)
Oh this has happened to me in the past...too many times! What I have learned is that sadly, sometimes, no matter how good of a friend you are to them, some friends just come and go. At least that's the sad reality for me... Just try to hang out with them as much as possible. To be honest with you, friends will always do plans and not include you. Feel better!
Thank you all for the advices, guys! @JamesENL: Maybe when I see them talking about "their stuff" I get annoyed and I act unnaturally :S Next time we'll see I'll try to just have fun with them, hope it works! @Elven: Same as before, I'll try to "get in there" and be more present between them @D_Alejandro: Me too! That's the reason why I wrote this post: I don't want to lose this friends...at least, not the same way I lost the others... I'll follow your advices! Thanks a lot!
curious if you try to make plans with just one of them at a time. how is it when it is just the two of you.
Well, in that case the atmosphere is different and it's all fine. The friend prefers to talk with me than to talk with the wall The "taking apart" issue only appears when we are all.
