Hi EC , I know this is a rather daunting question to attempt to answer (since we all know that it's futile to actually answer), but I could really use some varying viewpoints. I just got back from a calculus study session/gay chat talk with my best friend at McDonald's and while we were driving around for no apparent reason. Getting together and doing this is really the only opportunity I get to speak like myself with another person, so I value this time we have. We're both seniors and getting ready to head to college. As you may have guessed from my profile, or from previous posts, we live in the heart of the Mormon belt. My friend is going to Utah State, still a very Mormon place (about 15% less Mormon than here, though), whereas I may be going to U of Idaho way up north (about 3% Mormon, which will be a delicious change). We got talking and he and I both agree that we both have some kind of depression problem, but I think he has a worse case than I do. Mine comes and goes and gets the worst at night when I just question my future and what purpose I have. His seems to last throughout the day since he can't really get much drive to do the things he needs to do. So, I guess I'm asking for advice for what to think in these situations. What is there to look forward to, and how do these things outweigh the doldrums of working life and aging?
My perspective: Worth, purpose, meaning, etc. are created by humans, for humans. If you want meaning or purpose, you have to supply it yourself. We create purpose by giving value to our actions, by saying, "I care" in the face of a largely uncaring universe and society. Where to I find meaning? In my friends and family, in those I love and who love me. The people who say, "I want and need you in my life" but, more importantly, by telling myself, "Liam, I'm glad you're me. I want to be me as fully and utterly as possible." What does that mean? It means being honest with myself, it means not lying to myself about who I am, how I feel, what I think, my hopes, my dreams, my fears. It means facing all those things and saying, "Those are me, and I value them. If there is something I dislike, I will work to change it, but even with those things I dislike, I still love myself, I still want to be me." What does the future offer? The freedom to do this. The ability to acquire the skills to fully realize yourself as a person. To decide what course of actions I can take that will most reflect who I want to be.
I think it may have to do with one phase of your life coming to a close, and another one beginning - sometimes it makes someone stop and reflect. "What is the point to life?" "Why go to college" "am I a worthwhile person". Asking these questions does not in and of itself indicate depression - depression is a different thing (and much worse than mere introspection). What is the purpose of life? Lots of different reasons. For some people, the purpose of their lives is to get married, have children, raise a family - I have friends for whom that is their raison d'etre. For others, they want to have great careers - fulfiling, meaningful work which they truly love to do. In some cases, there are those who believe the purpose of life is to give back to the world - through charity and volunteer work. Some believe that their purpose is to follow God's will and his teachings - and to strive to reach the next world. There are those whot want to make their city/state/province/country a better place by getting involved in politics and fighting for causes they believe in. In short (hah, might be too late now), the point of life is whatever satisfies YOU - it's your life, and despite attempts to do so, no one can tell you how to live it. If I were to offer advice on this, it would be - try new things, experience new things, figure out what it is that drives and delights you. Travel, art, sports - don't write things off because you're nervous or scared of trying new things. The only other advice I have is try not to make decisions that limit your future possibilities. Dropping out of college might close doors to some future possibilities, for example, and while the consequences might seem distant at the time, you might regret the decision later. Good luck - and best wishes.
maybe there is no purpose. but thats not necessarily a bad thing. if nothing matters anyway theres no use worrying about things or worrying about 'achieving' things in the future. just do whats right for you, and take opportunities as they come. youre more likely to regret something you didnt do than something you did.
I have been conducting an informal survey with my peers and the strangers I meet online whereby I asked them the following question: "If you are given the opportunity to die now instantly and painlessly, would you take it?" So far, all but one said NO. My most prevalent theory [subjected to error and change] in life is that we have an evolutionary desire to live and survive. And because we have that desire, our brain tries to make it easier for us to live by creating "purpose, meaning, worth and desires" as mentioned by Liam. Personally, I answered "yes" to the question above. I am quite contented with life as it is and am ready to die and move on anytime now. Though my previous attempts to end my life was not very successful and brought much pain to family and friends; which is why I am not contemplating further attempts for now. So in my case, there's really nothing to look forward to; but since I have to live, might as well live as happily as possible.
Well, in my opinion life is a series of moments (some good, some bad) I don’t believe there is some great high source guiding our actions. Life is meant to be something, it isn’t meant to be anything, it just is. People often tell me that because I don’t see some high purpose in life my views seem hollow, but I don’t think so. Some people find comfort in thinking God is watching over them, or that you go to some great Heaven when you die. I find comfort in believing that life isn’t some test. They we aren’t put to figure everything out and if you don’t some great catastrophe will happen. I don’t know what happens when we die, I’ll find out when it happens. Live in the moment, so you don’t miss the journey. It makes no sense to get somewhere then have no idea how you got there.
You're asking what thoughts about life can make it worth living, I think. Of course it's different for everyone. For me, a lot of it's about curiosity—the reason I look forward to next week is just because I want to see how things are. It's an interest in life that I wouldn't want to end. There are hundreds of answers to this and everyone has their own—all you need to do is ask yourself about why other people live through the rough times and see if it applies to you. Maybe it's that you savour the highs too much to let them go, you want to be successful and leave your mark, you want to help those around you or you want to build a Barbie dream castle from toothpicks and bubblegum… it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it gives you a reason to want the future.
Most people spend their ENTIRE life trying to find a purpose. I wondered the same thing for years. Now, I have come to realize that my own personal purpose is to make people smile and be happy. Like I have mentioned before, I want to help GLBT youth who struggles with all sorts of problems. That makes me feel like I DO have a purpose in life. That's why God put me on this earth, so that I can share my happiness and cheer up as many people as I can. You have many things to look forward to! You're not even in College yet. You'll be in a new place with new people studying subjects that you are interested in! You have that to look forward to Remember, one day you will find that you have more yesterdays and few tomorrows! Make the most of it and try to be as happy as you can. If your depression persists, I would recommend seeing someone and perhaps getting some medication. Best of luck to you!
My "purpose", if I must have one... 1. Keep learning. 2. Help others along the way. 3. Have fun. And that's more than enough. Lex
Wow, I didn't expect all these replies. Thanks! I <3 this community. I definitely realize that there's stuff to live for. I enjoy helping people out when I can, and I love singing karaoke, working on the computer, and doing math, oddly enough (went over this with my friend since I was helping him with his overdue calculus final). And I know myself more than I often give myself credit for. I think I'm guilty of overanalyzing situations (I do this at bedtime frequently) and just kind of blowing everything out of proportion. I've always been the happiest when I don't really try to plan a lot or find a purpose. It's the best when I roll with the punches. It's just hard to remember that. Thank you so much again! All of your replies ('42' is quite a universal answer) have helped. It'll be nice getting to college (I hope this opportunity can be supported by our finances) -- I don't think I'll be as ashamed to get help I need, and I've told my best friend that he ought to look into it, as well.
