Today my friend and I got into a debate about how gays are actually gay. Like Is it a choice or is genetic or what? I always have believe I have never Choosen this and that I was born with it but how? It got me thinkin. So I am not sure and it just makes me feel unsecure. I love my friend Loren but hoenstly i think he has been brainwashed by his parents and it makes me mad because he always brings in religion and it bothers me but I know it bothers him to. please help. I wont stop being this guys friend no matter hwo much he doesnt understand nor accpet who i am but please help me understand, thank you.
The fact is, no one really knows what makes a person gay. There are theories, sure, but no sure answer. However, I can't imagine anyone ever thought to themselves "You know what, I'm going to be gay as of right now, because it just sounds so kick ass!". Ask him though, if he consciously looks at girls and says to himself "I have decided I will be attracted to her." The answer of course will be no. It's the same with being gay- you don't choose to be attracted to anyone, you just are.
Sexual orientation probably has several components, genes and prenatal environment being two of the strongest. There are certainly others, and I think that is especially so for those of us who fall in the gap between gay and straight. Whether we act on our sexual orientation is, of course, a choice. But, here's the thing: it shouldn't matter whether being gay is a choice, genetically predetermined, or something else entirely. All that matters is whether acting on our orientation is moral. There are people with a predisposition to steal, they don't choose this, they simply have a stronger desire to do so. Doesn't make it moral. There are people who choose to obsess over Dr. Who. That's a choice, doesn't make it immoral.
Okay, a couple of thoughts on the religion angle. Here are the two bible verses I run to when I think about this: 1 Corinthians 15:10 - "By the grace of God I am what I am and God's grace towards me has not been in vain." Psalm 139:13 - "I will thank you because I am marvelously made; * your works are wonderful, and I know it well." The second creation story (yes there are two) in Genesis is the one where Eve is made from one of Adam's ribs. Before this, God tells Adam to look among all the animals of creation to find a suitable partner. To me, this implies that sexuality is not as cut and dry and black & white as we think. God is the God of mystery and we are made in that image. Why should we be surprised to discover that who we are a sexual beings is also mysterious and hard to pin down? I for one celebrate the mystery. And I'm learning to celebrate being gay. Peace,
one theory suggests that the woman's womb naturally tries to make all fetuses women because it sees male chromosomes as a threat. So sometimes it only partially works and implants some female genes, giving feminine qualities or an attraction to other men. This also explains why the more sons are in a family the more likely it is one of them will be gay with each younger son. Because the womb does a better job each time trying to make the fetus a female. Mind you this is all some theory I heard somewhere and totally doesnt explain why some women like women. But then again, female sexuality has been known to be more fluid than male sexuality. At any rate, no matter what, we know that it is not a choice. The only choice we make is to accept it or to hide it, and most people can't hide it forever.
I believe it's nature not nurture. But I also think people put way too much thought into this. The question shouldn't be "Why am I gay?" It should be "I'm gay - why is this such a big deal to some people?" Lex
Don't know if anyone remembers, but there's also the fact that the hypothalamus in gay men are much larger and similar to that of heterosexual (and possibly homosexual) women's hypothalamus'. I just remember reading about that.
I just take comfort from the fact that it is a one way thing so though I don't know what may have made me gay, by 13 years old I knew that I was and after alot of soul searching I can confirm to myself that it is now a permenant part of me that cannot be changed so the only option is to accept it
Some people just.... are, and that's it, no explanation needed whatsoever, just variation. Just like some people are left handed. I've saying this to some of my probably-homophobic friends and they say that being left handed is completely different because it doesn't matter, and i don't think they realise that homosexuality shouldn't matter.
You're almost right. Simon LeVay in 1991 identified the third interstitial nucleus of the anterior hypothalamus (INAH-3) which is larger in men than in women, and larger in heterosexual men than in homosexual men. However, the brain is dynamic and social influence can have an impact on how big the INAH-3 is, the size of that brain area is not fixed before birth. Also, there is a birth order effect which I'm sure everyone is aware of. When a mother has a male (or several males), the mother's body has a "memory" of sorts of the androgens that were used to masculinize those fetuses. The punch line here is that testosterone is the precursor to an estrogen called estradiol. When the next male is developing, the androgens that the mother's body has a "memory" of undergoes aromatization and turns into estrogens which feminize the developing boys brain. This is why they say that boys who have older male siblings have a 1 in 7 chance of becoming gay. Finally, genes account for 50% of variability in sexual orientation. What the other 50% is we don't really know and is potentially due to socialization factors. This is as much as I know about the biological components of homosexuality.
dunno but i remember i got attracted to a teenage guy when i was about 5..But i didnt think it was something unusual at that age..I truly believe it comes from birth
We have noticed various physiological differences in homosexuals as Phoenix outlined, but are not sure what exactly causes them.
As has been mentioned above, there are a lot of theories regarding why some people are gay. As I've said to many people with whom I've had this conversation, "I don't know why I'm gay, but I know that I didn't choose to be gay". None of my friends asked me about it in a negative manner, they were just curious about it - almost all of them accept that it isn't a choice. Some people who are prejudiced towards gay people like to say that it is a choice because it makes their own behaviour more acceptable (at least in their own eyes). I don't like gay people because of reason X, but unless their being gay is a choice, my thinking is irrational - therefore I'll choose to believe that being gay is a choice.
